Dad Jokes...
- Thread starter K'Tesh
- Start date
Help Support The Rocketry Forum:
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2019
- Messages
- 6,170
- Reaction score
- 4,356
This was forwarded by my son
(taking notes)
My teacher accused me of plagiarism.
His words not mine.
His words not mine.
Doc: What seems to be the problem Paddy?
Paddy: Well doc, I seem to be losing me memory.
Doc: Well, that's no good; when did this start happening?
Paddy: When did what start happening?
Paddy: Well doc, I seem to be losing me memory.
Doc: Well, that's no good; when did this start happening?
Paddy: When did what start happening?
Last edited:
Why won't ducks go to the doctor?
Because they don't need another bill!
(Made that one up).
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2019
- Messages
- 6,170
- Reaction score
- 4,356
Must've been my Irish cousin who sits around outside most of the time: Paddy O'Furniture.
Jr. skeeter comes home from his first flight.
Dad: Hi Junior, how was it.
Jr.: Oh, it was great dad! At first I was a little nervous but then everybody stood up, started yelling and wildly clapping for me.
Dad: Hi Junior, how was it.
Jr.: Oh, it was great dad! At first I was a little nervous but then everybody stood up, started yelling and wildly clapping for me.
I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids.
I guess I'm a
faux pa.
I guess I'm a
faux pa.
My doctor has started asking AI for his reports. Not a bad thing if you ask me. Apparently my ovaries are functioning normally now.
Saw on FB:
I biked to the liquor store and picked up a bottle of whiskey.
But then I brilliantly concluded that if I biked home I might fall and break the bottle.
So I drank the whole bottle right outside the store.
Turns out I was right because I fell seven times on the way home!
I biked to the liquor store and picked up a bottle of whiskey.
But then I brilliantly concluded that if I biked home I might fall and break the bottle.
So I drank the whole bottle right outside the store.
Turns out I was right because I fell seven times on the way home!
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2019
- Messages
- 6,170
- Reaction score
- 4,356
Why did the bald man keep his comb?
Because he couldn't part with it.
Because he couldn't part with it.
9 YO just walked in, asked me how many seconds are in a year?
The correct answer is 12, Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, ā¦ā¦..
He got me!!!!
The correct answer is 12, Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, ā¦ā¦..
He got me!!!!
A chap is fishing and hooks a salmon, he reels it in and is just going to kill it for his dinner when the salmon looks at him and says
"Hey mate, don't kill me, I'm only a baby, I haven't swum the 7 seas yet, give me a chance pal"
The man looks at the salmon "Hey, you can talk"? "Course I can, go on put me back, there's much bigger fish under the bridge". "All right", says the man, "I'll put you back, what's your name?ā "Rusty" says the salmon, "And yours?" "My name's Dave"
He puts the fish back in the water & resolves to say nothing to anyone, for fear that he'll become a laughing stock.
10 years later he's fishing in the same spot & he hooks a monster. It takes him 2 hours to land it. He looks at it & pictures it on his dinner plate. Just then the salmon opens one eye & looks at him "Dave, is that you"?
"Rusty, I don't believe it, it must be 10 years since I let you go, what have you been doing"?
"Well Dave, I've had a fantastic time, I've swum the 7 seas & all the oceans. In fact, I've just come across the Atlantic, but I was really disturbed".
"Why's that Rusty"?
"Well, I was half way across & a voice told me to swim deeper, so I did, deeper & deeper & I found this huge shipwreck. I counted 4 funnels, it felt like death so I had to leave".
"Wow Rusty, that was the Titanic it sank & almost all on board were drowned."
"Ah, I knew it, in fact, I was so upset I had to sit down & write a poem about it" said Rusty.
"A poem, don't talk daft, you're just a fish, how can you write a poem, that's rubbish."
"No Dave, really, it's available in all bookshops now."
"Ok" says Dave, "so what's it called then?"
"Salmon Rustyās Titanic Verses.ā
"Hey mate, don't kill me, I'm only a baby, I haven't swum the 7 seas yet, give me a chance pal"
The man looks at the salmon "Hey, you can talk"? "Course I can, go on put me back, there's much bigger fish under the bridge". "All right", says the man, "I'll put you back, what's your name?ā "Rusty" says the salmon, "And yours?" "My name's Dave"
He puts the fish back in the water & resolves to say nothing to anyone, for fear that he'll become a laughing stock.
10 years later he's fishing in the same spot & he hooks a monster. It takes him 2 hours to land it. He looks at it & pictures it on his dinner plate. Just then the salmon opens one eye & looks at him "Dave, is that you"?
"Rusty, I don't believe it, it must be 10 years since I let you go, what have you been doing"?
"Well Dave, I've had a fantastic time, I've swum the 7 seas & all the oceans. In fact, I've just come across the Atlantic, but I was really disturbed".
"Why's that Rusty"?
"Well, I was half way across & a voice told me to swim deeper, so I did, deeper & deeper & I found this huge shipwreck. I counted 4 funnels, it felt like death so I had to leave".
"Wow Rusty, that was the Titanic it sank & almost all on board were drowned."
"Ah, I knew it, in fact, I was so upset I had to sit down & write a poem about it" said Rusty.
"A poem, don't talk daft, you're just a fish, how can you write a poem, that's rubbish."
"No Dave, really, it's available in all bookshops now."
"Ok" says Dave, "so what's it called then?"
"Salmon Rustyās Titanic Verses.ā
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2009
- Messages
- 2,464
- Reaction score
- 1,973
Jan 22nd, Feb 22nd. . . hmmm. Have to go to the judges on that one.
Good on your son, though! Starting early!
In the early 1980s I went to Peru and saw pictures of Francisco Pizarro's remains in such a glass coffin.
c0c0m0ke
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2019
- Messages
- 6,170
- Reaction score
- 4,356
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
How do you clean a dolphin? With all-porpoise cleaner.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2013
- Messages
- 22,537
- Reaction score
- 14,965
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2013
- Messages
- 22,537
- Reaction score
- 14,965
These are not jokes.. These are guys who are fulfilling the role of Dad in the best ways...
https://fb.watch/pSqZk5kaEZ/
https://fb.watch/pSqZk5kaEZ/
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2013
- Messages
- 22,537
- Reaction score
- 14,965
In Cahoots with someone.
There And Back Again...
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldnāt change colour?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction.
