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Dad Jokes...
- Thread starter K'Tesh
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Help Support The Rocketry Forum:
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"I know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."
caveduck
semi old rocketeer
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Yikes, don't get me started. I've been sending my daughter a daily dad joke ever since she went off to college. She's now a Senior. I have a massive inventory.
What do you do with a drummer who can't keep time?
Take away one stick and make him into a conductor!
What do you do with a drummer who can't keep time?
Take away one stick and make him into a conductor!
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Dave, you have to have some real treasures! (beside your daughter) Please post more, you can NEVER have enough dad jokes! See you on the range soon!
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A priest, a hippopotamus, a submarine, and the number 7 walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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I saw a guy on his motorcycle and the back of his T-shirt said, "if you can read this the wife fell off "
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boomtube-mk2
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
A stick.
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I couldn't find it...
It was deleted, but I was wondering if anyone knows why. There didn't seem to be any controversy goin on.
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I would be willing to bet that there were a lot of reports of political jokes specifically about one party or the other.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still, no eye deer.
No eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still, no eye deer.
Sooner Boomer
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Yeah, I BET it said "wife". I've seen the same shirt...
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I tell my scouts to imagine telling it to their preacher with grandma present. If it makes them uncomfortable, don't tell it at scouts.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs floating in a lake?
No eye deer bob.
Dang.
Starting over.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a lake?
Bob
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Aileen.
What do you call a vegetable that sings?
Elvis Parsley.
What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?
The Guardians of the Galaxy.
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What do you call two men with no arms or legs next to a window?
Kurt and Rod
What do you call two men with no arms or legs in a pit?
Doug and Phil
Kurt and Rod
What do you call two men with no arms or legs in a pit?
Doug and Phil
What do you call two men with no arms or legs on a shelf?
Bookends.
(I made that one up).
Bookends.
(I made that one up).
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Nope... they're both named "Read"
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a lake breathing through a straw?
Reed.
(Also made that one up).
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Roy Rogers and Dale Evans are riding their horses on a trail. They turn a corner and startle a mountain lion. The lion rears up and bites at Roy, catching his boots. Terrified, Dale dashes towards town to get help. Roy draws his revolver and shoots the mountain lion dead. While his boots are torn, he receives nary a scratch. He mounts the lion on the back of Trigger and starts heading towards town.
Meanwhile Dale arrives in town and starts yelling for help. The sheriff gets his gun. The doctor gets his medical bag. Several townsfolk mount up and join the group. As they are about to set off Roy comes riding into town.
The sheriff looks at Roy, looks at the cougar, and looks at Roy's mangled boots. Then he says,
"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes"?
EDIT: It later occurred to me that most of the readers of this forum might not be of the age to get the joke. For their edification: (Song lyrics start around 1:10)
BTW I wasn't around either during the swing era but my late mom had a TON of swing band records that I listened to. Glen Miller, Tommy Dorsey, et. al.
Laters.
Meanwhile Dale arrives in town and starts yelling for help. The sheriff gets his gun. The doctor gets his medical bag. Several townsfolk mount up and join the group. As they are about to set off Roy comes riding into town.
The sheriff looks at Roy, looks at the cougar, and looks at Roy's mangled boots. Then he says,
"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes"?
EDIT: It later occurred to me that most of the readers of this forum might not be of the age to get the joke. For their edification: (Song lyrics start around 1:10)
BTW I wasn't around either during the swing era but my late mom had a TON of swing band records that I listened to. Glen Miller, Tommy Dorsey, et. al.
Laters.
Last edited:
All in a Pirate Voice:
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
Usual answer: R (argh)
Quick retort: Aye, ya think it’d be ”R”, but their first love is the “C”
Requires the other person to supply R for it to work, but if you say the qu3stion in a pirate voice, they always do.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
Usual answer: R (argh)
Quick retort: Aye, ya think it’d be ”R”, but their first love is the “C”
Requires the other person to supply R for it to work, but if you say the qu3stion in a pirate voice, they always do.
