Dad Jokes...

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Jr. skeeter comes home from his first flight.
Dad: Hi Junior, how was it.
Jr.: Oh, it was great dad! At first I was a little nervous but then everybody stood up, started yelling and wildly clapping for me.
 
Saw on FB:
I biked to the liquor store and picked up a bottle of whiskey.
But then I brilliantly concluded that if I biked home I might fall and break the bottle.
So I drank the whole bottle right outside the store.
Turns out I was right because I fell seven times on the way home!
 
A chap is fishing and hooks a salmon, he reels it in and is just going to kill it for his dinner when the salmon looks at him and says
"Hey mate, don't kill me, I'm only a baby, I haven't swum the 7 seas yet, give me a chance pal"
The man looks at the salmon "Hey, you can talk"? "Course I can, go on put me back, there's much bigger fish under the bridge". "All right", says the man, "I'll put you back, what's your name?” "Rusty" says the salmon, "And yours?" "My name's Dave"
He puts the fish back in the water & resolves to say nothing to anyone, for fear that he'll become a laughing stock.
10 years later he's fishing in the same spot & he hooks a monster. It takes him 2 hours to land it. He looks at it & pictures it on his dinner plate. Just then the salmon opens one eye & looks at him "Dave, is that you"?
"Rusty, I don't believe it, it must be 10 years since I let you go, what have you been doing"?
"Well Dave, I've had a fantastic time, I've swum the 7 seas & all the oceans. In fact, I've just come across the Atlantic, but I was really disturbed".
"Why's that Rusty"?
"Well, I was half way across & a voice told me to swim deeper, so I did, deeper & deeper & I found this huge shipwreck. I counted 4 funnels, it felt like death so I had to leave".
"Wow Rusty, that was the Titanic it sank & almost all on board were drowned."
"Ah, I knew it, in fact, I was so upset I had to sit down & write a poem about it" said Rusty.
"A poem, don't talk daft, you're just a fish, how can you write a poem, that's rubbish."
"No Dave, really, it's available in all bookshops now."
"Ok" says Dave, "so what's it called then?"
"Salmon Rusty’s Titanic Verses.”
 
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