Dad Jokes...

[K'Tesh]

 

[SkyFire]

 

[kenstarr]

Where do dad's keep their jokes?

In their dad-abase.

 

[Bat-mite]

Why won't ducks go to the doctor?

Because they're all quacks!

 

[Huxter]

@Bat-mite - are you gonna blame auto-correct? That can't be right, but I can think of a close word that would be funnier!

 

[Cape Byron]

 

[Cape Byron]

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[dhbarr]

How to tell male from female ant?

Toss them in the water. The one that floats is boy ant.

 

[maverickrocketry]

I sure like an off color joke too.

 

[K'Tesh]

The Graph of when math, and missing pets cross

 

[Hobie1dog]

i can't find jokes this bad anywhere

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[Pem Tech]

Roy Rogers and Dale Evans are riding their horses on a trail. They turn a corner and startle a mountain lion. The lion rears up and bites at Roy, catching his boots. Terrified, Dale dashes towards town to get help. Roy draws his revolver and shoots the mountain lion dead. While his boots are torn, he receives nary a scratch. He mounts the lion on the back of Trigger and starts heading towards town.
Meanwhile Dale arrives in town and starts yelling for help. The sheriff gets his gun. The doctor gets his medical bag. Several townsfolk mount up and join the group. As they are about to set off Roy comes riding into town.
The sheriff looks at Roy, looks at the cougar, and looks at Roy's mangled boots. Then he says,

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes"?

HA! My dad actually used to tell that joke!

 

[Bat-mite]

@Bat-mite - are you gonna blame auto-correct? That can't be right, but I can think of a close word that would be funnier!

OOPS! Fixed.

 

[Bat-mite]

My dad used to say, "I'd rather fart and bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain." Words to live by.

 

[MALBAR 70]

 

[MALBAR 70]

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[K'Tesh]

Lately had a vasectomy so I wouldn’t have kids.

Got home and they were still there!

 

[Everdon]

Guilty

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[Bat-mite]

A woman walked into a bar and sat down at a table. She asked the waiter for a beer.

"Sorry, can't serve you a beer," he said.

"Why not?" she asked. "I'm over 21."

"That's not the problem," he said.

"Oh," she said, getting irate. "I know. It's because I'm a woman, and you are a chauvinist, and you think beer is a man's drink! And I'm not a part of the Boys' Club, is that it? And I suppose you think women are incompetent, and stupid, and ought to stay barefoot and pregnant, huh?!"

"No," he answered calmly. "That's not why. It's because this is a sushi bar."

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[chrocket]

John goes into a bar bragging: "I am so tired. It took me the whole day to ride along the borders of my land"

Ben responds: "Don't tell me. I used to have such a lame horse too"

 

[NateB]

There's a lot of good fabrics for making clothes, but denim is the best overall.

 

[John Kemker]

John goes into a bar bragging: "I am so tired. It took me the whole day to ride along the borders of my land"

Ben responds: "Don't tell me. I used to have such a lame horse too"

I heard it as a Texas ranch owner talking to a Georgia farmer:
"It takes a full day to drive from one end of my ranch to the other!" said the Texan.
Georgia farmer replied, "Yeah. I oncet had a truck like that, too."

 

[K'Tesh]