Dad Jokes...

[John Kemker]

 

[ep29030]

My mom told me this joke when we were riding bicycles around Lake Tahoe... in the early 1980s.

Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo-choo....

 

[kuririn]

I was going to post a joke about sodium but I was like Na,people wont understand

I bet that made you feel really NaCl-ty.

 

[teepot]

My Dad told me a joke I have remembered through the years. I'll always remember it. Because it was the first and last dirty joke he told me. I remember thinking at the time. I must be an adult now because my Dad just told me a dirty joke.

 

[John Kemker]

First dirty joke my Dad told me:

"Wanna hear a dirty joke?"
"Sure!"
"Two white horses fell in the mud. Wanna hear a dirtier joke? Three came out."

 

[SkyFire]

 

[kuririn]

View attachment 519458

So you divested your interests?
Bwa ha ha.

 

[SkyFire]

I went to the paint store to get thinner but it didn’t work

 

[K'Tesh]

Here's an un-Dad joke...

 

[tsmmiller]

7 YO starting his craft early….
What did the teddy bear have for dinner?
Nothing, he was stuffed!

 

[Sooner Boomer]

A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank to donate. The rabbit says, "I think I'm a Type O".

 

[Cape Byron]

 

[kuririn]

View attachment 523295

No matter, the audience wouldn't understand the bird anyway,
It only speaks Pigeon English.
Bwahahahaha.
I made that one up.

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[Sooner Boomer]

Q - Why did Biden's bicycle fall over?

A - Becasuse it was too tired (two-tired).

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[KenECoyote]

What kind of shoe do you put on your face?

Tis-sue!

 

[Cape Byron]

 

[milehigh]

When you boil dow a funny bone you get laughing stock.

 

[SkyFire]

 

[cls]

Didja hear about the blonde who tried to alphabetize her M & Ms? She almost got all of them, including the Es and Ws, but couldn't figure out where to put the 3s.

 

[KC3KNM]

Before my grandfather passed away, I drove him to a doctors appointment. He was suffering from dementia and the periods where he wasn’t himself were getting more and more often. At the appointment the doctor told him that his kidneys were failing. He instantly said that’s not possible, that he has “adult knees”. I’m not sure I’ll ever hear a better Dad joke.

 

[Cape Byron]

I quit my job at the shoe recycling factory.

It was sole destroying.

 

[cls]

He was suffering from dementia and the periods where he wasn’t himself were getting more and more often. At the appointment the doctor told him that his kidneys were failing.

(Ouch. Poor grandpa. A couple years ago I almost died from kidney failure (ok now) and yes the body gets polluted in a couple days and the brain gets really whacked. Anything else is a better way to go...)

 

[Cape Byron]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes the ghost of Sean Connery

 

[caveduck]

A woman was hauled into court for assaulting her musician husband with his own instruments.

The judge asked, "First offender?"

The woman jumped up and shouted "NO! First a Gibson, then a Fender!"

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[afadeev]

 

[K'Tesh]

Book never written...
Swimming the English Channel, by Francis Near

 

[K'Tesh]

All he did after that was Wine... Wine... Wine...