Dad Jokes...

[K'Tesh]

I know I haven't been as active on the forum as I normally have been....

 

[SkyFire]

 

[SkyFire]

 

[John Kemker]

I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer.

 

[Cape Byron]

 

[Cape Byron]

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

With jammin’. Hope ya like jammin’ too.

 

[Cape Byron]

 

[John Kemker]

When do bakers lend money to each other?


When they knead the dough.

 

[Cape Byron]

Karl Marx was a famous historical figure, but no-one remembers his sister Onya who invented the starting pistol…

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[Cape Byron]

The best thing about going to my Parents at the weekend is my Mum's meatloaf.

She can't do the voice but she looks just like him.

 

[John Kemker]

This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.

 

[Cape Byron]

Why does the SLS look so clean?

It's been scrubbed twice in a week...

 

[MALBAR 70]

 

[John Kemker]

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

 

[OverTheTop]

This is a true story, about ten minutes ago:

My wife asks "Why is the cheese spread all around the fridge?"
I answer, "It's spreadable cheese!" and break ouit laughing

"Not funny" she says. More laughter .

 

[John Kemker]

This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

 

[cls]

This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

That's ok, plenty of room at the Infinity Hotel.

 

[Cape Byron]

 

[Cape Byron]

What do you call someone who used to really like tractors and now doesn’t like them anymore?


An ex-tractor fan.

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[Cape Byron]

I know a Polish sound technician . . . . and a Czech one too...

 

[K'Tesh]

Not your typical "Dad" joke, but it has a dad...

 

[Cape Byron]

My dad always said The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more. Great bloke. Terrible anaesthetist.

 

[K'Tesh]

Imagine the HORROR!!!

 

[Cape Byron]

There’s a strange new trend at work; people putting names on food in the company fridge.
Today I had a yoghurt called Becca.

 

[MarsFire]

What do you call a potato that looks like a phallus?

A dicktater.


Andrew

 

[heada]

Why are bees allergic to pollen? It makes them break out in hives

 

[MarsFire]

I heard they were arrested for....


View attachment 507744

Sorry, but from the looks of it that's an attempted conspiracy.


Andrew