"Back in the day", parents "ingrained / programmed" every desired behavior into their children, from day one. Children were taught "this is right / this is wrong" . . . "this is what we believe and anyone who opposes those beliefs is wrong" . . . "people who do not share our values are a bad influence and are to be avoided" . . . "Do as you are told or there will be consequences / no argument" . . . "Proper behavior is rewarded / improper behavior is punished, without exception, or negotiation". Parents all met and knew each other and, if your parents did not like a family, you were forbidden from interacting with them, etc, etc, etc.
During the last few decades, parents have been, consistently, less & less "integrated" into their children's upbringing. Public schools have, largely, assumed much of that and parents are far less "engaged" in what is actually being taught to their children, on all levels.
Parents must not be "friends" to their children, during childhood, but should be respected "authority figures". "Friendship" can come later, after the child reaches Adulthood.
Suddenly deciding, years into a child's life, that you want them to "think like you" is a losing proposition, because you should have been "fully engaged / invested", from day one. In not doing so, the child who "lives under your roof" is not the child you "should have raised".
If you have any doubt of this, take a good look around you . . .
Dave F.