Why do restaurant waiters suddenly use "we" when they mean "you?"

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Yes it was quite fuzzy at first, but the intention became clear with an enormous amount of training and follow-up over the next couple of years.

Well, it’s good they could finally read the writing on the wall and stop flailing around blindly.
I don’t mind being greeted when I walk into a store. It doesn’t need to be a ridiculous, over-the-top greeting, but a “Hello. Welcome to the store. Let me know if I can help you find anything.” is nice.
I run inventories for dollar stores. Dollar General, Dollar Tree, Family Dollar, all greet customers when they walk in and have as long as I can remember. (Been doing it for 6 years.)
I don't mind the greeting as I walk into a store. it's the hovering that creeps me out.. (and not because I am an old guy in a trench coat in Victoria Secrets..) Or the obviously eager sales persons who are jockeying for your sale / their commission..
Certain restaurants and/or other establishments seem to have a 'rule' that whenever the door opens and someone enters, the majority of the staff must acknowledge it.

One particular mom and pop restaurant we frequented years ago had a person from the New Jersey area who always said 'Haaaaaaay, Honnnnnnn' any time the door opened, regardless of whether a person was entering or leaving. The first 2 times, it seemed like that person was just overly personable in a way that was odd for locals. After the 10th visit (and hundreds of 'Haaaaaaay, Honnnnnnn's every time the door moved) we wrote the place off. The food was OK, but passable. The 'Haaaaaaay, Honnnnnnn's got really annoying. It got to the point that when we were trying to figure out where to go for lunch, somebody might say "you want to go to Hay Hun's?" and we'd end up at McDonald's or similar.

The place sold, but has a similar menu. We do go to the place again at times, but those of us around at the time still say "you want to go to Hay Hun's?". The newer guys have no clue, but the old timers still hear it every time it is mentioned.


I had an Iranian woman call me honey one day, at an AM/PM market in Northern California. 🙂. I actually felt pretty good walking out the door.
Marc- Now since you have started this thread you have me paying attention to what the waiters and waitresses are saying.
I used to go to hooters a couple of times a week in the 00's; they have customer service down, lol.

I think they have really studied and mastered ALL of the tip-maximizing techniques. I was never a fan of the menu or drinks, so I only went to the local one a few times, but I remember having a fun time.
Of their drinks I am not a fan. The last time I was in one, which is quite some years ago, their hot wings were very good and their fried clams were some of the best. (Not as good as this one place I've been to a couple of times on Route 1A along the New Hampshire coastline in an expanded old shack. But I digress.)
Interesting reading. I'll get back and finish it later.
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Don't blame @ZEDL1; that was me. (Some odd mistake in the 'QUOTE=...' tag.)

Second, keep in mind that I was responding to your response to this:So we're not talking about threatening or harassing the server here.

1) Did the server's use of trendy, pretentious BS language harm me in any way? Very little. Contributing one of the day's many minor annoyances is only very slightly more than zero.

2) Was the server's use of this language done out of malice? Certainly not.

Value for whom? For all. Calling people's attention, politely and non-threateningly, to the nonsense that they don't even realize they're saying is of value to society, because it can (with a little luck) help to lower (a little) the total BS load born by all.

Will simply asking, after the appropriately and normally sized gratuity has been given, harm the server in any way? I believe the answer is no, though I admit it is possible that it will contribute one of the day's minor annoyances to him/her (which, though not at all my intent, could reasonably be called just).
Thank you jqavins. I very much appreciate it. I was trying to recall having sent that post but I couldn't.
Again, thank you very much.
I'm thinking "stach wick". Sounds British, but I don't know. I'm trying to sound it out as I was taught in 1960s grade school. No intent all to offend.
I’d be inclined to mark that as correct, although there are a number of ways that people go after the sound the “ch” makes. A lot of people assume it follows the German rules and has a hard K-like sound as in “Reich”, more rarely others go for a more literal English-inspired pronunciation and say a softer “ch” as in “Charlie”.

It is in fact the softer one, as it is Anglicized Polish in origin, changed around the turn of the 20th century when my great-great-grandfather arrived in America from Posen, then an ethnically Polish region of the German Empire.

If you ever see me out at the range, you’re welcome to my RMS 29/40-120 casing and closures, that’s all I’ve got. Heaven knows I’m not using them right now, with all the snafus that have happened with my E16W reloads.
I have heard we being used for a long time and I have used it in my customer service days when I was a student. I have no issuer with it.
And if that's the reason (a definite "if") do you have evidence that it seems friendlier to the customer, or does it just seem friendlier to the service provider?
I’m guessing somebody crunched the numbers regarding spending and tipping habits.
I'll take that bet. I think it's just a way to (try to) seem cool. If anyone thinks it's inceasing tips, I bet that's based on a small set of anecdotal evidence at best.