List your regrets in life

[smstachwick]

You should forgive yourself for that one. That‘s a if-I-knew-then-what-I-know-now mistake, and you should not blame yourself for those kinds of mistakes, because you didn‘t know then what you know now, and you relied on the advice of an expert. It’s ok to be sad and regret the outcome, but it sounded like you feel guilty, and that’s not fair to yourself.

That was kind of my thought when I jumped in here, I wanted to talk about something that would have been very easy to do differently, not limited by my knowledge, skill, maturity, or environment. Grief, guilt, depression, self-hatred and regret are often concurrent but they are eminently distinct from one another.

I think part of the reason I have few regrets in life is that the things that have mattered to me have been relatively consistent, so I wasn’t half-assing decisions in the past that I’m kicking myself for now. I did my best and I was as successful as I could have been.

Of course, that doesn’t solve or prevent every conceivable problem. I do struggle with grief and self-hatred, and I’m currently seeing a therapist in the hopes that that might help. I don’t expect to cast off my past, but I’m hoping that I can at least get to a point where I can think about, be reminded of, or discuss it without it controlling my mood, my relationships, and my life. “Put it to bed,” if you will, in the sense that it’s still there, but inactive and not bothersome.

 

[cerving]

Missing Pink Floyd's The Wall concert at Anaheim Stadium because I didn't have the $15 to go to it. My buddies kept telling me how great it was when Gilmour played the Comfortably Numb solo on top of the 20' wall...

 

[KenECoyote]

Mine:

• Working like a madman and making huge sacrifices for a manager or workplace that doesn't appreciate or recognize it.
• Trusting people too much. I usually expect others to behave like caring and responsible individuals, but was shocked at how many will give up their morals and lie just for something stupid (and I grew up with an older brother who lied and stole very often... figured he was just the odd one).
• Seeing an original Keith Haring graffiti artwork on an abandoned restaurant sign and not grabbing it before it was demolished (I planned to, but kept putting it off... sign was easily reachable and this was before he got famous and then died).

I don't regret not buying certain stocks since that's hindsight and for every super successful stock, there's dozens or hundreds that do mediocre or poorly. Can't buy everything and can't predict the future. Tesla was down to a week or so of money at one point and even Apple stock wasn't so good for a bunch of years. Amazon did poorly for many years early on. My friend had Bitcoin and sold it all for a few thousand when he went bankrupt. That's life, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and timing matters a LOT.

 

[KenECoyote]

Also:

Not buying more rocket stuff... especially before prices went nuts!

 

[Pinetree]

Never going to see YES when Chris Squire was still alive.

 

[cerving]

Never going to see YES when Chris Squire was still alive.

It's always nice to see Steve Howe, but they're just not the same band without Squire. Especially without Anderson... they just seem soulless now.

 

[fyrwrxz]

Ignoring that inner voice. I still have the T-shirt from when I scouted UCSB for an environmental scientist major. I was a big activist back in the day (1st Earth Day, etc.) Never went. Too depressing to see the irreversible damage already done and the politics and money against any sanity the human race could have had. Then wanted to be a meteorologist. Nope. Too busy being a stupid gear head and racing cars. Wish I had all that money back. Wish I had finished my chemical engineering degree. Never got to the pro stage of pyrotechnics. Nope, too married with kids to support. Spent way too long making shareholders money away from my family, thinking it was the right thing to do. Gave away a few inventions, we had NDA's anyway and in place agreements to prevent patent rights. Wrote a couple of books and sold them outright to others with no credit, but I know what I did. Maybe retirement will bring a peace of mind I have been missing. It's surreal to think after I step out, there is no big "next thing". Too old and poor to race again, reaction times and physicality would preclude any competitiveness. No use reasonable use or ROI to finish any other degrees. I just thank the stars for rocketry in all it's forms for the mental bubble gum and getting me outside. Egrets, I've had a ewe, but then again, two flew to mention....

 

[Fishhead]

I'd have taken algebra for a fourth time.

 

[dr wogz]

A woman drove me to drink...

I regret never thanking her..

 

[ksaves2]

Wished I had known Radon gas is a major cause of lung cancer in non-smokers. My late wife was a nurse and couldn't work after our mentally
handicapped son was born. Had to stay home and watch him. The house we bought was owner built and neither I nor Sally knew there was
a Radon gas problem in the area. She came down with right upper quadrant pain, took her to the E.R. thinking it was gall bladder and scans
showed stage 4 lung cancer. She never smoked in her life! We had 3 months to say goodbye. That's when we found out! January 25th will be the 5th anniversary of her death. Two other people died in our neighborhood but they were smokers. Combine Radon with smoking and almost certain guarantee one is going to get lung cancer. I had the house abated and Radon is hardly detected now. Well within safe limits according to my meter. Kurt

 

[smstachwick]

Wished I had known Radon gas is a major cause of lung cancer in non-smokers. My late wife was a nurse and couldn't work after our mentally
handicapped son was born. Had to stay home and watch him. The house we bought was owner built and neither I nor Sally knew there was
a Radon gas problem in the area. She came down with right upper quadrant pain, took her to the E.R. thinking it was gall bladder and scans
showed stage 4 lung cancer. She never smoked in her life! We had 3 months to say goodbye. That's when we found out! January 25th will be the 5th anniversary of her death. Two other people died in our neighborhood but they were smokers. Combine Radon with smoking and almost certain guarantee one is going to get lung cancer. I had the house abated and Radon is hardly detected now. Well within safe limits according to my meter. Kurt

Yep, nasty business. Dense, radioactive gas that decays in the lungs and in airborne dust, turning into radioactive polonium and chemically toxic lead. The effect is worse in basements and houses with the first floor partially built into the ground.

Granite and other rocks containing uranium and thorium minerals emit it constantly. Grand Central Station is famously radioactive for this reason.

I’m sorry that that happened, that’s really not fair.

PSA: Meters and test kits are easy to find and use. A trip to The Home Depot and an hour of work might save you this kind of shock and heartbreak.

 

[NTP2]

You could get a tattoo.

View attachment 625526

 

[CoyoteNumber2]

Not driving up from Los Angeles to Vandenberg to see the last Titan IV launch.

Not grabbing a fire extinguisher and rushing to help when I saw a classmate's car on fire in the school parking lot. (Classmate was fine, but the car was a loss.)

Not finishing my college senior project and graduating before my advisor, mentor, and friend died. He dedicated himself to seeing his students succeed, and I never showed him I could.

Not sticking with an engineering degree. That decision has haunted me every day of my career.

But worst of all is the way I treated someone I loved. She was the most precious thing in the world to me, and I was cruel and manipulative. I'm glad though that she left, because she met her husband and I'm glad for the life she has now.

 

[tsmmiller]

Yep, nasty business. Dense, radioactive gas that decays in the lungs and in airborne dust, turning into radioactive polonium and chemically toxic lead. The effect is worse in basements and houses with the first floor partially built into the ground.

Granite and other rocks containing uranium and thorium minerals emit it constantly. Grand Central Station is famously radioactive for this reason.

I’m sorry that that happened, that’s really not fair.

PSA: Meters and test kits are easy to find and use. A trip to The Home Depot and an hour of work might save you this kind of shock and heartbreak.

Radon is quite prevalent in my area. After the foundation went up, all the plumbing went in that I had no idea what was for.
The builder gave me a crash course in radon buildup. Essentially it looked like black PVC pipe placed all around the foundation with several breather vents to the roofline.
Once the moisture barrier went down they had to wait a week for testing.
One thing that the county does on new builds is a constant air exchange in the home. Every two hours the air is replaced In my home. I guess that is a good thing, but it does make it chilly when it is 10* outside.

 

[r1dermon]

Certainly not the biggest regret but one of the more annoying ones to deal with...Buying exercise equipment

At 38 I don't have many regrets, but one is not exercising enough.

 

[KenECoyote]

At 38 I don't have many regrets, but one is not exercising enough.

Wait until you hit 48!

 

[KenECoyote]

Missing the shuttle launches.

My wife and I both wanted to catch them, but timing was never right and we thought it could wait.

Lesson learned! Now I'm lobbying hard for us to buy a second home on the Space Coast.

 

[Tech 68]

Missing Pink Floyd's The Wall concert at Anaheim Stadium because I didn't have the $15 to go to it. My buddies kept telling me how great it was when Gilmour played the Comfortably Numb solo on top of the 20' wall...

I was told that too...

 

[r1dermon]

Wait until you hit 48!

I'm not waiting! Lol. I have actually been changing my lifestyle the past 6 months and am exercising and eating right. Down 25lbs and counting. I hope I feel better in my 40s than I have in my 30s.