Apologies if these have been shared before but, they are always good for a laugh to me!
Funny Church Bulletin Bloopers:
· Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa
· The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience
· Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
· We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
· Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons
· During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
· Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
· The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
· The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
· Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
· Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
· Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
· Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
· The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
· Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
· The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
· The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
· The music for today’s service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
· Today’s Sermon: How Much Can a Man Drink? with hymns from a full choir.
· Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
· Ushers will eat latecomers.
· Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
· Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
· For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs .
· Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
· A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
· Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
· The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
· The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
· ” I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.