What I did today -instead- of Rocketry.

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Spent time researching side effects of the 3 pills I take. Finding out that 380K deaths are caused by pills in the U.S. and Europe alone.
 
Spent time researching side effects of the 3 pills I take. Finding out that 380K deaths are caused by pills in the U.S. and Europe alone.
Bear in mind that number doesn't tell us much of anything useful without knowing how many of those were caused by misuse of the pills, such as overdoses, which pills are causing how many deaths, and the number of deaths caused by each pill vs. how many people are taking them.

Sounds like "quality journalism" to me.
 
Bear in mind that number doesn't tell us much of anything useful without knowing how many of those were caused by misuse of the pills, such as overdoses, which pills are causing how many deaths, and the number of deaths caused by each pill vs. how many people are taking them.

Sounds like "quality journalism" to me.
Apr 15, 1998 — "More than 100,000 people a year die in American hospitals from adverse reactions to medication" That's 100,000 families losing a loved one, 100K funerals.
 
Apr 15, 1998 — "More than 100,000 people a year die in American hospitals from adverse reactions to medication" That's 100,000 families losing a loved one, 100K funerals.
Do you mind sharing what medication it is? Or is that the total for adverse reactions to all medications?
 
Apr 15, 1998 — "More than 100,000 people a year die in American hospitals from adverse reactions to medication" That's 100,000 families losing a loved one, 100K funerals.
You're talking about medical errors here where before you were talking about "pills." the two are not necessarily the same.
 
I 'functioned'. Good on me.
Yes, it is. No need for sarcasm over that.

I did some final preparations for maybe getting up at 5am Saturday and driving to the desert to launch rockets.
Let's try this again. A car breakdown (last time) is totally understandable. So let's try again. Promise to go. To me. "Joe, I promise I will go to that launch." (In order to create a sense of accountability.)
I think that is the drugs. The grief and pain remain. The hatred of having to live on starts to subside… a little bit. And the ability to work or concentrate increases. A little bit. That is the drugs huh?
Yup. The grief will always remain. The hatred of having to go on will be forgotten and the ability to function will continue to increase thanks in large part to these amazing drugs. The pain may very well diminish, not because of the drugs, but because the improvements that the drugs bring about make life less painful.
I want to write a tome about her. And me. And our love.
So write it! I haven't said it in a while, I think writing it will help you. And who among us wouldn't like to read such a love story, even one with a sad ending? Have you ever seen Up, the Pixar movie? The first five or ten minutes, without a word of dialog if I remember right, are a great love story despite the sad conclusion when Ellie dies. Add to that the small twist ending of the movie, and the period of depression in between, and it could be your life (except for the whole floating house thing and the rest of the plot) if you'll accept the ending.
 
Bear in mind that number doesn't tell us much of anything useful without knowing how many of those were caused by misuse of the pills, such as overdoses, which pills are causing how many deaths, and the number of deaths caused by each pill vs. how many people are taking them.

Sounds like "quality journalism" to me.
And how many would have died of the condition being treated if not for the pills (e.g. the disease is 50% fatal if untreated, 5% fatal if treated, and the treatment has fatal side effects in 0.5% of cases.)
 
Went to the lung doctor to discuss the 15% decrease in lung function after the last performance test. S.S.D.Y. :( Kind of a waste of time when everyone knows how my disease is going to kill me. I only want to do the performance tests because I'm a technical/facts person. I want numbers, not discussion about it.
 
Ah yes? Pills are killing us. Except we are all living into our 60s, 70s, and beyond. Hundred years ago? Not so much.
Alas my lovely Kim...

So instead of dying from a flu infection at age 45 like people were doing at lo not so long ago, Or younger, we try and live longer (without editorializing on quality of life for the moment).

No modern medicine is a marvel. But biology is messy. Its not digital. Its analog. And the tolerances are huge. The build up of those tolerence can cause all sorts of failures. And then everyone is slightly (or more) different.

I don't think to myself, gee if 10mg is good, 20mg must be better? But if I was in chronic pain? I might get onto opioids like my love bride did.

I just can't take the side effect argument. You don't HAVE to take anything, No one is forcing you. Until you pass out and can not make a decision for yourself. Then they (someone) are obligated to try and help. So stop taking everything. Go on. Get sicker. Or get better. Or whatever. Be the miracle. I asked for one... and did not get it...

I'll still try and fight on with the meds even though I'd love to be with her if that is to be. Someday... but as Maverick said, Just not today.

Day 156. I miss you honey. I love you. I'll try and launch a few rockets tomorrow. I'll try...
 
Thursday I drove to a Dr appt in Paducah, then up to the St. Louis hospital where Younger Daughter had surgery. HUGE hospital...and they're doing construction, so the main entrance is closed...today we drove around and around for fifteen minutes before we found where we could get into the parking garage. And getting into the hotel...and trying to find one's room therein...never mind. I hate big cities.

April is doing somewhat better today; they finally have her on a regular diet. She's still in some pain---they made an 8" incision to do the work---and she doesn't want opioids because constipation could be a serious impediment. Hoping she'll be able to go home tomorrow. Either Geniece or I will need to stay with her for a few days in case of complications.

The MD in Paducah scheduled me for outpatient surgery in about three weeks, for a hernia. Also going to the eye doctor for assessment for cataracts, in about two weeks. Yep, getting old ain't for sissies.
 
Went to sister in laws house to see what was left after yesterday- yard crew took some things, junk guy took some things, used furniture store took some things. There isn't much left. I'll go over tomorrow with some large trash bags and see if I can do final cleanup. By the time we got back home it was in the 100 degree range in our garage so no more rocket work for the day.
 
Busy weekend. Continued with bathroom renovation, pulled the toilet out and capped the plumbing.

Sunday we went for a drive to the Mornington Peninsula. Did a one hour bushwalk through some nice Australian bush.
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Then off to a goat farm/dairy for lunch and wine. They have 130 goats and 200 kids currently. Weather was perfect.
 
Today here in NJ it’s very dark and gloomy with rain, cold and dampness. One of my jobs is to keep the back bedroom neat and the furniture dusted. It was at one time made as a guest room. It was Mia’s domain and mine to watch TV at night. I take care of the dusting because I have a lot of RR collectibles in there. The last it was dusted was June 14 when Mia started to get sick again. I said that day to Mia I will keep you company in her being I have to dust. I would have never known a day and a half later she was going to take her last breath.

Since then I have never found it in my heart to dust that room. Yesterday I new it had to be done so I carefully dusted but not without a lot of tears. The last thing I had to dust was the dresser thats where’s Mia’s ashes are sitting on in her cherry wood box along with her toys, paw prints and treats. I had to remove everything today to finish where I left off but not without a heavy heart. I turned around and I could picture her laying on the bed on her very soft blankets where she was warm on a day like today.

I cried more today than I have in the past two months. I knew this was going to happen being the Fall is coming and she loved her blanket to keep warm. I went to my friends for dinner last night and he told me he knows what I’m going through. He said Mia and I shared a close bond and I felt comfort in her. He said she was my companion and now she’s gone I don’t have that anymore.

I’m sorry but I can’t get over 18 years in just three and a half months. I don’t even know if talking with a professional is going to help either. No one can bring her back. I knew this was coming with this time of year. It’s not fair. I try but still can’t do anything with the rockets yet. I want to but it’s not in me. I would give all my kits away only if I could have back. It’s not fair.
 
Cooked dinner (Sundays are my turn). Haddock fillets, poached in 4 oz butter, 2 oz lemon juice, and 2 oz white wine, with a finely diced shallot and some black pepper. Beat two egg yolks. Once the fish is out of the braising liquid, temper then whisk in the egg yolks.
 
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