Parsons' Laws of USB Cables

K'Tesh

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Parsons' Laws of USB Cables:
Law 1: The number of USB outlets available to you at any time is equal to at least one less than you need.


Law 2: No matter how many USB cables you have plugged into outlets, the one you need at the moment will not be one of them.


Law 3: No matter how organized you are, you will not be able to find the USB cable you need, at the moment you most need it.

These laws were discovered by James Parsons in his attempt to charge his bicycle lights on 10/18/2016

 

cvanc

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4. When you plug in a USB cable you will guess correctly which way it goes in less than 20% of the time, despite it being a 50-50 chance.

Man, ain't it the truth!!

(I suspect your 20% is actually optimistic :lol: )
 

K'Tesh

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4. When you plug in a USB cable you will guess correctly which way it goes in less than 20% of the time, despite it being a 50-50 chance.


I had tried to figure out a way of phrasing that...

I think that should be Mushtang's Law
 

K'Tesh

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Parsons' Laws of USB Cables (continued)

Law 4: Whenever another jack is adjacent to the USB plug and both are difficult to see, you will attempt to plug the USB into it... repeatedly.
 

blackbrandt

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I seriously don't know what you guys are talking about. I can plug in my USB sticks blindfolded. First time, every time.

Except for the one time that I found that an RJ-45 port fits a USB stick very nicely. -_-
 

kpotter

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I had tried to figure out a way of phrasing that...

I think that should be Mushtang's Law

A variation on what I know as the 50-50-90 rule If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, 90% of the time you will make the wrong choice.
 

BuiltFromTrash

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USB3 Type C. Does not matter which way it is plugged in. Also the side with the holes is the side that goes up, this is for any USB cable. As for always losing them, I can not relate as I know where ALL of the cable I use are. :D I can't argue with getting more though, just don't hoard. xD
 

ThirstyBarbarian

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Another variation: on average, it will take 3 tries to get the orientation of a USB cable correct.

That's because USB cables have macro quantum effects, and they actually occupy both states at the same time, until they are observed, then they pick one. So you try it one way, and it doesn't fit, because it is BOTH upside down AND right side up. You assume it must be upside down and flip it over, but it still won't fit. Then you finally look at the damn thing to see WTF is going on, and it settles on an orientation, and then you can put it in. It's a Heisenberg thing. I think USB actually stands for Uncertainty Serial Bus.
 

neil_w

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That's because USB cables have macro quantum effects, and they actually occupy both states at the same time, until they are observed, then they pick one. So you try it one way, and it doesn't fit, because it is BOTH upside down AND right side up. You assume it must be upside down and flip it over, but it still won't fit. Then you finally look at the damn thing to see WTF is going on, and it settles on an orientation, and then you can put it in. It's a Heisenberg thing. I think USB actually stands for Uncertainty Serial Bus.

That's the first explanation I've seen that makes sense. 😉
 

Cabernut

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Should you rebel and find a cable when you need it, it will enact justice by not making a good connection and not charge your phone, which will then still be 5% in the morning.:facepalm: Dollar store cables are especially capable of Parsons' Laws enforcement.
 

rc dude

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That's because USB cables have macro quantum effects, and they actually occupy both states at the same time, until they are observed, then they pick one. So you try it one way, and it doesn't fit, because it is BOTH upside down AND right side up. You assume it must be upside down and flip it over, but it still won't fit. Then you finally look at the damn thing to see WTF is going on, and it settles on an orientation, and then you can put it in. It's a Heisenberg thing. I think USB actually stands for Uncertainty Serial Bus.

Schrodinger's cable
 

rstaff3

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That's because USB cables have macro quantum effects, and they actually occupy both states at the same time, until they are observed, then they pick one. So you try it one way, and it doesn't fit, because it is BOTH upside down AND right side up. You assume it must be upside down and flip it over, but it still won't fit. Then you finally look at the damn thing to see WTF is going on, and it settles on an orientation, and then you can put it in. It's a Heisenberg thing. I think USB actually stands for Uncertainty Serial Bus.

Now, this is funny. Unless you are in the process of fumbling with USB cables.
 

dhbarr

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Should you rebel and find a cable when you need it, it will enact justice by not making a good connection and not charge your phone, which will then still be 5% in the morning.:facepalm: Dollar store cables are especially capable of Parsons' Laws enforcement.

monoprice ; buy a stack of 'em
 

jrkennedy2

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That's because USB cables have macro quantum effects, and they actually occupy both states at the same time, until they are observed, then they pick one. So you try it one way, and it doesn't fit, because it is BOTH upside down AND right side up. You assume it must be upside down and flip it over, but it still won't fit. Then you finally look at the damn thing to see WTF is going on, and it settles on an orientation, and then you can put it in. It's a Heisenberg thing. I think USB actually stands for Uncertainty Serial Bus.

That's where I got it wrong, Uncertainty! I foolishly thought it was Universal. Now I don't feel so bad fumbling with them... Whew!
 

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Wow, you guys all have USB? I'm still running Windows 98 with serial ports.

Just kidding.
 

blackbrandt

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You say that like a joke... but I have a Thinkpad 365XD running 98 and it uses serial ports. :)
 

BuiltFromTrash

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Hahaha. Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RS-232

An RS-232 serial port was once a standard feature of a personal computer, used for connections to modems, printers, mice, data storage, uninterruptible power supplies, and other peripheral devices. However, RS-232 is hampered by low transmission speed, large voltage swing, and large standard connectors. In modern personal computers, USB has displaced RS-232 from most of its peripheral interface roles. Many computers do not come equipped with RS-232 ports and must use either an external USB-to-RS-232 converter or an internal expansion card with one or more serial ports to connect to RS-232 peripherals. Nevertheless, RS-232 devices are still used, especially in industrial machines, networking equipment, and scientific instruments.
 

Banzai88

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Parsons' Laws of USB Cables:
Law 1: The number of USB outlets available to you at any time is equal to at least one less than you need.


Law 2: No matter how many USB cables you have plugged into outlets, the one you need at the moment will not be one of them.


Law 3: No matter how organized you are, you will not be able to find the USB cable you need, at the moment you most need it.

These laws were discovered by James Parsons in his attempt to charge his bicycle lights on 10/18/2016


Isn't that a corollary to the Completion Backwards Principle? The closer you come to completing a computer cord connection, the more likely it is that you did it backwards?
 

Kartman

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That's because USB cables have macro quantum effects, and they actually occupy both states at the same time, until they are observed, then they pick one. So you try it one way, and it doesn't fit, because it is BOTH upside down AND right side up. You assume it must be upside down and flip it over, but it still won't fit. Then you finally look at the damn thing to see WTF is going on, and it settles on an orientation, and then you can put it in. It's a Heisenberg thing. I think USB actually stands for Uncertainty Serial Bus.

Ah, now I know why it is so difficult to sync up a device sometimes. The Uncertainty Serial Bus!
I like it.
 

PhlAsh

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Parsons' Laws of USB Cables:
Law 1: The number of USB outlets available to you at any time is equal to at least one less than you need.


Law 2: No matter how many USB cables you have plugged into outlets, the one you need at the moment will not be one of them.


Law 3: No matter how organized you are, you will not be able to find the USB cable you need, at the moment you most need it.

These laws were discovered by James Parsons in his attempt to charge his bicycle lights on 10/18/2016


Ash's Corollary: Despite these rule, the untrained observer (namely my wife) will advise you that you have too many.
 

waywayanda

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Dont forget about the Coriolis effect. When you cross the equator, you flip the Cable the other way.
 
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