KermieD
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 3,019
- Reaction score
- 8
This year, just north of town on Hwy 76, there's a fireworks shop that doesn't just sell fountains and stuff. It sells the stuff that shoots in the air and makes a really big bang. Wheeee!!!
Now, Baron (the aforementioned dog in the title) has been somewhat skittish the last couple of weeks. He doesn't like fireworks. He starts barking and running around the house. When he's outside and they go off, he's a bit better though.
Now, my natural assumption is that he needs to be "socialized" towards fireworks. I think he just needs to see them in order to know that all is well and it seems like that's the right tack since he's a lot better when he's outside while the neighbors are lighting stuff off.
So, a quick hop down the road, 2 bricks of firecrackers, a couple gross of bottle rockets, a couple of multishot cakes, 2 packs of candles and 2 mortar tubes with 16 rounds later (heck, it was buy one, get the 2nd for 99 cents..I'm a sucker for that kind of deal), and socialization class is about to begin.
Now, to refresh, my dog is a serial killer. He's a sweetheart, but if it's small and it moves, it's lunch. He's up to 2 rabbits and 2 frogs already this summer (needless to say I take the latter two rather personally, but this is a different story). He darn near added 4 adults and a child to that resume this evening.
You see, apparently with small moving things, he is unsocializable.
Enclosed, please find the recipe for disaster: 1 bottle of recently emptied Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor (widemouth), as many bottle rockets as will fit in said bottle (rough guess is about 2 or 3 dozen), a lit cigarette and an old lid to a schooldesk on the ground to keep everything level and moderately safe (insert canned laugh track here). Generally, with such densely packed rockets, if you keep them packed into the bottle roughly aligned as they were in the package, you can set off a considerable number of them via a chain reaction by lighting only a few with the cigarette. In this instance it works famously.
Step 1: Cram bottle rockets into widemouth beer bottle
Step 2: Light cigarette and take to launch site.
Step 3: Use cigarette to light 3-5 wicks before you have to back off just in time to not lose an eye from the first one going off.
Step 4: Sit back and watch the chain reac...
BARON, NO!!!!
Revised Step 4: Run like you've never run before from rabid dog who is now running laps around the yard with a wide-mouth bottle of Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor stuffed with bottle rockets that are lighting each other off like the plutonium rods at Chernobyl and spewing faster and wilder than I did with the sour milk episode described a month and a half ago.
I cannot believe that
A: The dog didn't get hurt.
B: No people got hurt
C: All property appears to be intact (it was dark however), and, most importantly
D: I'm typing this while still wearing the same underpants that I had on at the time of the incident.
After that, we kept the dog inside while shooting off fireworks. When I get a chance, I'll take a picture of the inside of the back door as it appears after that event (pictures to follow on that later...now the house is even upset).
If anyone can get here, I have some bottle rockets, some mini roman candles, a bunch of firecrackers, a 25 shot mini-cake and about 12 rounds yet for the mortars. You're not allowed to light any of them here.
Now, Baron (the aforementioned dog in the title) has been somewhat skittish the last couple of weeks. He doesn't like fireworks. He starts barking and running around the house. When he's outside and they go off, he's a bit better though.
Now, my natural assumption is that he needs to be "socialized" towards fireworks. I think he just needs to see them in order to know that all is well and it seems like that's the right tack since he's a lot better when he's outside while the neighbors are lighting stuff off.
So, a quick hop down the road, 2 bricks of firecrackers, a couple gross of bottle rockets, a couple of multishot cakes, 2 packs of candles and 2 mortar tubes with 16 rounds later (heck, it was buy one, get the 2nd for 99 cents..I'm a sucker for that kind of deal), and socialization class is about to begin.
Now, to refresh, my dog is a serial killer. He's a sweetheart, but if it's small and it moves, it's lunch. He's up to 2 rabbits and 2 frogs already this summer (needless to say I take the latter two rather personally, but this is a different story). He darn near added 4 adults and a child to that resume this evening.
You see, apparently with small moving things, he is unsocializable.
Enclosed, please find the recipe for disaster: 1 bottle of recently emptied Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor (widemouth), as many bottle rockets as will fit in said bottle (rough guess is about 2 or 3 dozen), a lit cigarette and an old lid to a schooldesk on the ground to keep everything level and moderately safe (insert canned laugh track here). Generally, with such densely packed rockets, if you keep them packed into the bottle roughly aligned as they were in the package, you can set off a considerable number of them via a chain reaction by lighting only a few with the cigarette. In this instance it works famously.
Step 1: Cram bottle rockets into widemouth beer bottle
Step 2: Light cigarette and take to launch site.
Step 3: Use cigarette to light 3-5 wicks before you have to back off just in time to not lose an eye from the first one going off.
Step 4: Sit back and watch the chain reac...
BARON, NO!!!!
Revised Step 4: Run like you've never run before from rabid dog who is now running laps around the yard with a wide-mouth bottle of Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor stuffed with bottle rockets that are lighting each other off like the plutonium rods at Chernobyl and spewing faster and wilder than I did with the sour milk episode described a month and a half ago.
I cannot believe that
A: The dog didn't get hurt.
B: No people got hurt
C: All property appears to be intact (it was dark however), and, most importantly
D: I'm typing this while still wearing the same underpants that I had on at the time of the incident.
After that, we kept the dog inside while shooting off fireworks. When I get a chance, I'll take a picture of the inside of the back door as it appears after that event (pictures to follow on that later...now the house is even upset).
If anyone can get here, I have some bottle rockets, some mini roman candles, a bunch of firecrackers, a 25 shot mini-cake and about 12 rounds yet for the mortars. You're not allowed to light any of them here.
