The end of the Never Ending Story

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fyrwrxz

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Alright TRFers, the last sale was darn near a shovel recovery. The core sample ( (which for some odd reason I played along with) revealed waaay too much of my personal life and history as the dissection in the Geology Dept of TRF got busy. Mea Culpa. Let's try this again. Since this is my thread I do reserve the right to relate certain facts concerning said articles only for context. I am not emotionally attached to anything I post for sale snd if you think things are priced too high, we both win. You still have your money and I still have my "thing". Now that I have established the farm is not on the auction block by the Feds for back taxes, be advised my professional shipper friend (Steve, Postal Annex Plus in La Mesa-shameless plug) ((Btw, shipping sux now, be advised I can deliver at Rocstock or Holtville Havoc. Vegas is chancy and my time line)) took an extra vacay day and won't be back until Wednesday and I'm kinda a busy guy anyways. >Everything professionally packed AND INSURED. I think you get a tracking number, too. < If you rest you rust. Motion is the best lotion. Never look back, they may be gaining, etc. -pick yer platitude) So, having that out of the way, think of this as turning a book at the library upside down and spine in, so you can find it again while you keep perusing the aisle. Works for me. (Library: the building our forefathers used before they harnessed the power of the electron to destroy independent learning and thinking. See also: books) Pics will be plentiful, but not overly zealous and you may inquire at your leisure to ally any fears you may have. Typos are included for free and may have hilarious results. This is not a keyboard, It's a frikin I-pad powered by very tired hamsters on a squeeky wheel. Be nice. Stay tuned.
and now, the musical interlude:
🎶 If you need an oop part, go see dave, if you need an oop part go see dave, if you need an oop part, make a deal and he will part with an obscure rocket part, if you need an oop part, go see dave🎵
10 bonus points if you can identify the tune.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled cluster....
( did he just say cluster?...)

(Again for emphasis: NOT leaving rocketry! just fireworks. Digging around my fine stack of 'wall 'o' footlockers' I am thinning the herd while I have your attention. For my next act, I will set myself on fire. Not really, just a favourite line from an old comedy routine)
and now back to your regularly scheduled program
"Do not attempt to adjust the vertical.." wait! wrong channel!
🛑
. These are MANDATORY rules. If you, for any reason, cannot follow the crowd, please sit on the curb and wait for your ride. it's a customized School Bus with 13 feet cut out of the middle. Very proud to own one. Not like any sale you may have seen here before. I have good reasons for this.
1) This ain't 'one and done' I'm not gonna jam up TRF with eleventeen posts. It will all be HERE, no matter whut it is.
2) You MUST respond to any sale here to my EMail account:
[email protected]. (which luckily, is also my paypal addy) I literally don't have time in RL to babysit TRF.
3) NO bidding. What I say is what it is. I don't care how cool or crappy it is. This is not my first rodeo, and in RL I worked on a dude ranch in Colorado. My Aunt and Uncle also own a big spread in New Mexico. I've shoveled enuff to last three lifetimes. I really prefer sugar cubes over spurs. Let's play nice horsies, okay?
4) First come, first served.
5) I'm not starving, if you need time to assemble funds, I'm all good with that, but not a mind reader. It will be marked 'sold' and I'm not a stickler for petty details. Leave that crap to Feebay.
I trust my fellow flyers, but we all know what happened at Spaceport. Reasonable time is allowed, but if you ghost more than two pay periods, you lose. Paypal is your best friend, but I can also accept checks, money orders, or bullion. Don't need trades, but, hey, I could be open. See rule #2
6) Please don't ask if I have this or that. It's embarrassing enough that I might. Sale items may be randomly added. Nothing will be presold just to look good or make you feel jealous. From a scrawny kid with a British accent in Georgia, making his first black powder and starting a 'rocket club' at Warner Robins High School ( it's still there, the story is surreal) to the day Eric Gates signed my cert card( there were no 'levels' back then), to the day Scott Bartel threatened to tell everybody to turn me upside down and shake out the fee to join Tripoli, I have had a distinct lack of self control, common sense or decorum for all thing based on fire. I built my first fireworks there. Ky Michaelson and I spoke briefly at LDRS about our 'glory days' but he's got a few ( not that many) years on me. My first order to Estes was $300.00 They called my dad to see if I forged his signature. I hustled for rockets. A lot. I grew up to work on the real Atlas vehicles. I still have no self control, so yeah, the so called 'build pile' could be stratospheric if I didn't steal parts for my own designs, from LPR to HPR.
+1 for anybody making it this far. You are a masochist and should not be allowed to mix with the general public.
Just don't ask me for one of the first kits Vern made. My dad built me one when we lived in Aurora, Colorado. He knew the local hobby shop owner. I got to go with him to see all the goodies in the adult toy store and there it was. Lost on the first flight to the trees in a meadow at the end of the street, looking out towards the Genesee Mountains, foot hills of the Rockies. I was in Second grade. Then we moved to Britain. No rockets except for Guy Fawkes day. Thus the weird spellings and accent when I get drunk. My story. First, last and Only time it will ever be repeated, here or anywhere. Moral of the story: Don't ask.
7) Nothing will be deleted, see the post from Troj about the rules.
Any multiple listing will be revised showing multiple 'sold' labels. i.e. if there are fifteen of something and if there is only ten 'sold' stickers, there are 5 left. If you can use an altimeter, you can take this to the bank.
8) Some items I will pack, but not often. While I may not be as busy as you are. I cherish any time I have left not doing dumb things. Using old Xmas wrap, newspapers, Aunt Frieda's fruit cake box from 1987, habitrail foilage or even, gods forbid, dog barf, falls under this category. I will load any padded envelopes my self. I'm only so stupid on certain days when the grunion are running.
9) Donations ARE accepted, to go to one of my favourite charities -right now it is a 5th grade STEM teacher in Florida. You may even know him, yes, he flies (and teaches) rocketry, but he shall remain nameless here. Not a TRF regular, but I am trying.
10) Anything marked 'free' will be subject to a $1.00 'service fee'. Not for me. See post #9.
Let's light this candle!
🚀

Final edit: this sale is NOT for me. I have a good job, happily married, an Acura with 320k i'm extremely proud of, and a lifetime of rocket crap. My job is solely to make my crap your crap. One man's crap can still be crap, be warned! This is Solely to support some poor slub trying to ignite the imaginations of children in the formative years we may find new engineers, mechanics, and computer geeks in. Your tax payer dollar only goes so far, and then it comes out of his pittance we pay him. Help me help him, so we don't have to rent somebody in the future that can use a calculator. Ruby Myers from Discount Rocketry slready holds the contract and is ready to ship. Target is $250.00. Call her if you don't believe me. If this craters, it's all on me snd he will still get his care package. If we can have some fun doing it, all the better. Sharing is caring, and I give a damn.
 
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dhbarr

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Alright TRFers, the last sale was darn near a shovel recovery. The core sample ( (which for some odd reason I played along with) revealed waaay too much of my personal life and history as the dissection in the Geology Dept of TRF got busy. Mea Culpa. Let's try this again. Since this is my thread I do reserve the right to relate certain facts concerning said articles only for context. I am not emotionally attached to anything I post for sale snd if you think things are priced too high, we both win. You still have your money and I still have my "thing". Now that I have established the farm is not on the auction block by the Feds for back taxes, be advised my professional shipper friend (Steve, Postal Annex Plus in La Mesa-shameless plug) took an extra vacay day and won't be back until Wednesday and I'm kinda a busy guy anyways. If you rest you rust. Motion is the best lotion. Never look back, they may be gaining, pick yer platitude) So, having that out of the way, think of this as turning a book at the library upside down and spine in, so you can find it again while you keep perusing the aisle. Works for me. (Library: the building our forefathers used before they harnessed the power of the electron to destroy independent learning and thinking. See also: books) Pics will be plentiful, but not overly zealous and you may inquire at your leisure to ally any fears you may have. Typos are included for free and may have hilarious results. This is not a keyboard, It's a frikin I-pad powered by very tired hamsters on a squeeky wheel. Be nice. Stay tuned.
and now, the musical interlude:
🎶 If you need an oop part, go see dave, if you need an oop part go see dave, if you need an oop part, make a deal and he will part with an obscure rocket part, if you need an oop part, go see dave🎵
10 bonus points if you can identify the tune.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled cluster....
( did he just say cluster?...)

(Again for emphasis: NOT leaving rocketry! just fireworks. Digging around my fine stack of 'wall 'o' footlockers' I am thinning the herd while I have your attention. For my next act, I will set myself on fire. Not really, just a favourite line from an old comedy routine)
and now back to your regularly scheduled program
"Do not attempt to adjust the vertical.." wait! wrong channel!
Did your Dog Spot put you up to this, Worthington?
 

fyrwrxz

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Did your Dog Spot put you up to this, Worthington?
Ralph Spoilsport here underneath the smog berry tress in the downtown city of Emphysema. Give this man some chrome plated fender dents and some reconditioned air conditioning from our on site air conditioning factory! +10 points for obscure reference and two hundred more if you can name that record. I gave it a 6, Dick, it was hard to dance to...
 

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Muuahhahaa! He sez as he gleefully rubs his grimy mitts together...( turns up the elevator music to 11)
 

tsmith1315

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turns up the elevator music to 11)

Should we tremble? We're not afraid of Jack Parnell or even Lawrence Welk.

Yet, maybe we should. The first line of your musical interlude inexplicably retrieved the the Red Goose Shoes jingle and wedged it in my auditory cortex. There's no replacing it. I fear the repercussions of reading further...
 

fyrwrxz

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Should we tremble? We're not afraid of Jack Parnell or even Lawrence Welk.

Yet, maybe we should. The first line of your musical interlude inexplicably retrieved the the Red Goose Shoes jingle and wedged it in my auditory cortex. There's no replacing it. I fear the repercussions of reading further...
Dang! (And I'm cleaning it up a lot to be more user friendly) if you wore a skirt, I'd kiss you! Forgot all about the Red Goose thing! So, a pox back atcha for that, you turkey!
>be afraid, be very afraid. Think Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmas passed. Or, Night at the Museum. Or Back to the Future 2. Or the documentary "Barney and Fred discover fire and make the first rocks fly" China wasn't invented yet.<
Stay tuned, film at 11. Winding up the camera as we speak. Anybody know a good piano player?
I've found my first victims, er, volunteers. Head shots to be posted later. No luck finding a script writer, ya'll gonna have to suffer thru the Not ready for Prime Time crew. Couldn't find a stand in for Mrs. Lincoln, either. What? Too soon?
 

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🎶( sounds of orchestra tuning up)🎵Well, we couldn't find a piano player and we din't want a silent movie, so We hired Mrs. Grumbie's sixth grade beginning music Murderation class. Lots of beginner kazooists. "No, Tommy, the other way, Suzie, that does NOT belong there,I don't care what Sally said, put it back together, David, there are no batteries, you swallowed WHAT?"
Sorry we need a bit of further ado. The economy size from Costco.
 
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fyrwrxz

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"Is this thing on? Can you hear me in the back? do we have enough ushers? No, Timmy, it won't go to 11. Do you see an 11 on that board? No, that was just a movie. Did your mom drop you on your head? Why are all these kids running around? Waddya mean, no piano player? Mrs Who? You seriously mean to tell me we are going to entertain all my rich friends with a kazoo solo? Who's idea was that? Don't bitch about the budget again, I brought free donuts, what more do you want? Look, if he sez it's a service llama, it's a service llama, okay? Don't push that button. Put the dam rocket down, it's just for display. What the hell is this?I didn't even know Fisher-Price made sound boards. Shut up about the frikken budget, will you? Dang! Do I have to do everything here? No, you can't play with the feedback loop. Touch that dial again and I will break your fingers. Yes, that button is important it controls every"
 
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fyrwrxz

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🛑 STOP! Go back to the top of the thread. ⬆️ Very important buyer information has been added.

Let's light this candle! 🚀
 
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fyrwrxz

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Ahh. Thus explaining a lifetime hall pass for lunacy, mimeographed in invisible ink.

Surreal story details needed.
You got it, buddy:
I am a manager ( they think) at Barona Casino. I got the job after coming home at the Viking Princess's ( another story) request from Boeing in Everett, Washington, where I was a rent-a-dork. Somebody threw me under the bus to a headhunter, I never asked for it. Turned them down. Not sexy enuff. I'm going to school for web design. Uncle Sam's dime, federal program. Not interested so much in things with wings or even Aerospace. Kinda burned out. They kept calling back and piling on the money. What the hell, Dave? You just told thee biggest AC company in America to piss up a rope. Told them call me with more money at frickin midnight (same time zone) after I get my cert 3 months from now. Asshole did. Supposedly a six month contract with executive suite inHoliday Inn and a driver for six weeks so I could find a car and apartment. It turned into Gilligan's tour of things with wings for two long years. Family down in San Diego. They kept saying, fix our production lines for the 767 and 747 birds. Each time more money. Screw your family, we love you more. War in the Middle East thwarted me selling off 2 747's to Saudi Arabia. Ugly rumours. Flew down to DM and mothballed brand new airplanes. Cool, free money from the deposit. Not mine, Boring's. Filed Interpol papers for over seas job, Joint Strike Fighter. Joint because every place with a road and cow in the middle of it got to build part of it. All the nopes in nopeland from the Viking Princess. Not interested in Britain, Canada or Australia. Come home, I'll get a job. Ha, fat chance, she hadn't worked since I robbed the cradle when she was 18. Smoked me. Got a job at, you guessed it. Barona. The only thing I knew about casinos is I should just send them a check and save the gas money. Got me job there, 9.00 an hour. I was just waiting for the next gig. Space X calls. Nope, Coyotes and sage brush is not her thing. SpaceX calls again. More noping. Dang, that's a sexy job, sweetie, are you daft? Yes, she was. And very stubborn. Like German mean stubborn. Fast forward. I get to hire people. Random kid comes in, likable, kinda fresh out of high school, still in his back seat but not rear view yet. Interviewed, good for my future files. I escort him back to Security and he's talking, apparently to his buddy who got him in, about High School in Georgia. I asked where? He says the name of my high school. I ask if they still had a rocket club. Yep, part of the Stem track. Fell over. I have proof I started the club if archives of the local paper still exist. Held the "Middle Georgia Altitude Record" for a hot second. Of course, that made me a target. Somebody else got it two months later and not local. You. cannot. make. this. ****. up.
Ha! I love the auto edit feature, some day I will be quoted in all asterisks. I can be not user friendly.
 
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Joekeyo

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Ralph Spoilsport here underneath the smog berry tress in the downtown city of Emphysema. Give this man some chrome plated fender dents and some reconditioned air conditioning from our on site air conditioning factory! +10 points for obscure reference and two hundred more if you can name that record. I gave it a 6, Dick, it was hard to dance to...
Ralph Spoilsport here=Firesign Theater. Which record? idk, Bozos or Pliers?
 

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Ralph Spoilsport here=Firesign Theater. Which record? idk, Bozos or Pliers?
You are my new hero! I would give you my first borne, but his wife mite object! You def get a prize, I dunno whut yet, but it will be gauran-dammed-teed to be random. Send me yer addy. What level do you fly? Do you own a pair of purple underwear? Expiring minds need to know.
 

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Bitch, bitch, bitch, whine, whine, whine, moan, moan, moan. Who knew a billion centrefuge tubes would come back and bite you on the ass, knees and neck. Not so much a bargain now, eh, Einstein?
 

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Gave Mrs. Grumbie the lifetime Kazoo achievement award, a grant for triangles and wooden blocks and sent her and her entourage packing. Did not strangle Timmy. He can still use one hand. Executive descision for pre canned music. One button, hopefully Timmy proof.
 

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"Whose in charge of the curtain? No, not me. I'm really busy. This sale is a pain in the ass. Don't touch that button Timmy. Stickershock23 once said "No matter how hard you push the envelope, it's still stationary" I want you to be stationary, Timmy. No button pushing until I say so, got it? Dang, I hate this job.
When I say " cue the music" you push this button. Yes I know your right hand hurts and I'm sorry, but I warned you. I blame your Mom. You should too. Now, about that curtain..."
 
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fyrwrxz

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Will we get to page 2 before anything is listed for sale? ;)
muahhahaha! Good to know the suspense is killing you, because the foot lockers are killing me. I pay in tacos if you want to help. Page two, maybe, This sale is for steely eyed missile men, but I will be nice and say this is a test of the National Alert System. The first winner has already made the mail. Note this could be misconstrued as a reading test. Same as altimeter instructions. Not. your. average. sale. Take notes, there will be a test.
 

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Could somebody sweep the stage, please? All those candy wrappers are distracting. Thank you.
 

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Timmy, do something to get us to page two. No, you don't have a button for that. Don't ask why, it's above your pay grade. Shutup about the budget, already, I get it!
 

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Testing, testing
 

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Again
 

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fyrwrxz

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Timmy, just hit the button. Not that one. Do you want to be able to feed yourself tonight? Oh, okay. "Cue the music" There, are you happy now? How long is this frickin first page anyway?
 
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