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Zeus-cat

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I hope we can turn this thread in one like the post a photo that makes you laugh. Add your less than serious ideas.

If I were king, I would make people who have a negative number after Final Jeopardy write out a check for the amount and hand it to Alex Trebek. It only seems fair to me that they should have to pay up.
 

Gary Byrum

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I'd quit my job at Burger King, team up with Jack I. Box, kidnap Ronald McDonald, and grind him into hamburger. Should be no different than what they are feeding everyone anyway.
 

SaturnV

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If I were king immediately introduce tax Cosmos 5 percent and reduce the military budget so so that people will not pay a penny more. 10 years with these funds begin to exploit the natural resources of the planets, moons and asteroids and begin to populate the solar system. Up to 20 years first interstellar earth ship heads to another star.
P.S.Can this a president to do so if have balls:)But after Kennedy nobody and is not likely to have. It is not only you and our president is less intelligent than a random person on the street.Democracy have no mechanism to raise the most capable person from a country's highest post. Coincidence is almost like in kings- one capable of doing something and 10 unable after it destroyed this :)
 
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Bat-mite

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If I were king, I would invent a Level 4 for rocketry, and then pass a law stating that only the king can be Level 4. Level 4 would mean you can buy any rocketry item from any vendor for 75% off, as often as you like.
 

LW Bercini

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I would outlaw the usage of the word "like" as a quotative. The fine for each offense would be a total ban from any cellular service for a six month period.
 

Bat-mite

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I would outlaw the usage of the word "like" as a quotative. The fine for each offense would be a total ban from any cellular service for a six month period.
Good one. When and how did that start, I wonder?
 

PhlAsh

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I would breed a special type of that micro-organism that eats the tire-rubber off the roads. It would flourish on white paint and would be extremely ravenous. That way, anyone who lane-changed, drove into the shoulder or anything of that sort, would go through tires much faster than normal drivers.

I would require auto manufacturers to include a feature that would disable the fuel pump for 20 minutes after the 3rd lane-change or turn without using a signal (in a 30 day period with 3 'mulligans')

I would mount 'slower traffic keep right' cameras at random intervals on all highways and divided motorways. Each violation would incur a $30 fine plus processing fee.
 

TALON

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Make everyone's cell phone number the same as their license plate :cool:
 

MClark

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I would create a radio station which continuously plays Black Betty by Ram Jam.
 

LW Bercini

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I would decree that any official document that can be used as identification cannot expire with normal use. That means for example, a state-issued drivers license will always be accepted as valid ID, even when the authorization to operate a vehicle has expired.
 

tightwad

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I would order every greedy millionaire/billionaire to work with their hands on jobs such as cleaning out a barn full of cow dung, throwing hay bales, hauling 4x8 sheets of plywood up an extension ladder to roof a two story house and dig endless post holes in rocky soil. And for toppers, clean public restrooms over and over again. This made me a great person who understands hard work and working for every dollar you make.

Sorry for ranting.
 

SaturnV

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If I were king, I would invent a Level 4 for rocketry, and then pass a law stating that only the king can be Level 4. Level 4 would mean you can buy any rocketry item from any vendor for 75% off, as often as you like.
May long ago your ancestors came from Europe or elsewhere in the world. King does not buy anything because everything is his :)He buys only from other kings :) But hardly Putin will give you 75% discount on any rocket engine :)
If I were king but above what I said I would go to Hollywood or Las Vegas before hitting a life-long interstellar voyage. What I want there you can see in later adult movies :)
 

Gary Byrum

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I'd do away with extremely long and multiple cash register receipts, make gasoline $1.00 a gallon, and only negotiable for 10% hike or decline once a year. There would be no Hazmat charges for registered rocketeers, All businesses would be required to give 3 weeks paid vacation time to employees that aren't already getting it. Make farming a profitable business again so we can 86 growth hormones and bring back butcher shops that sell REAL grade A meats at a reasonable price. As King, there would be no Republicans or Democrats, pick a suitable island to imprison murderers and let them die there. The common thief would be sent out in to help provide aid to victims of natural disasters and terrorist invasions and such, until the time for said crime was paid back based on the severity of the crime. The borders of this country would be locked until all illegal aliens were processed and sworn in to become American citizens. Then only by DNA testing would their remaining families be permitted to enter and be processed as well. Finally, all overseas businesses based in this country would cease operations and be forced to bring the jobs back home where they belong. Anyone still doing business overseas would be dealt with as in the common thief law.

Oh....Big Pharma.....Hmmmmm. This is where I'd put your tax dollars to work for sure. I would pay for drugs and medications and Big Pharma could only charge me the fair & reasonable price for these medications. If it cost $1.00 to make an EpiPen, the limit they could get for it would be 10% profit or whatever really applies. None of this gouging BS like what's happening now. And I would provide health care for everyone and equal schooling for our students. No more calibers of schools. All schools would be equal no matter where you lived. I'm sure the list could go on, but I didn't want to hog the whole do-gooder scenario.
 

H_Rocket

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With apologies to Three Dog Night and Hoyt Axton

If I were the king of the world
Tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the wars
Make sweet love to you

(Well not you people....)
 

dhbarr

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Mandatory Shop, Civics, & Home Ec.

All levels of voting via Arrow/Condorcet on Jul 4th, "No Confidence" a required candidate, small fine for not voting.

Zero tax of any kind on any household making less than 2x poverty w/ a gradual ramp up from there.

18 for drinking, smoking, voting, & military service.

Figure out how much the next three countries combined spend on defense and draw down to that level over 20ish years. Give half of the savings to NASA.
 

cavecentral

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I'd take rightful ownership of King's restaurants. Hire assassins to kill off other claim to my throne like Burger King.
 

michigander

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If I were King , day 1

Ques* diagnostics needs to explain blood work with no insurance $410.45 with insurance $39.94
Automobile manufactures to import need 150000 mile bumper to bumper warranty or 10 years which ever comes first
Domestic manufactures 200000 mile bumper to bumper warranty or 15 years which ever comes first
Gasoline $7.50 per gallon
Tobacco products $20.00 per pack
Charter Schools no state $$$
 

FredA

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Immediate huge raise for Teachers, Scientists, Engineers.

Flat Tax - eliminate the taxation overhead (IRS, Tax Prep, Tax lawyers)
Single-payer health care for all - eliminate all the insurance billing nightmare.

Cap Wallstreet pay
Institute requirement to hold stocks for at least one day - eliminate speed trading.

Require accountability for all politicians and government employees.

Decrease in pay for Lawyers.
Dis-bar lawyers who routinely file frivolous lawsuits.
Juries stocked with true peers.
 

Cabernut

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I would create an army of clones to defeat the separatists and bring order to the galaxy. There will be ORDAH!

Then I would create a really big laser cannon so that fear of my fully armed and operational battle station would keep the local systems in line.
 

o1d_dude

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If I were King, the Heavy Athletics Events from the Highland Games would be taught in all school athletic programs. The Kilted Mile run, also.
 

FredA

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forgot one....
Heat seeking missiles would be sent up the tailpipe of people who hog the left lane and don't move over.
 

SaturnV

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If I were King would never do grains. More curwes you have not seen.
20160825_005203.jpg20160825_005227.jpg
Whether such an arrangement has a chance to give something other than CATO?
22.jpg
 

MikeyDSlagle

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I would create an army of clones to defeat the separatists and bring order to the galaxy. There will be ORDAH!

Then I would create a really big laser cannon so that fear of my fully armed and operational battle station would keep the local systems in line.
You must construct additional pylons!


Eliminate the NBA!

Create a law called "Common Courtesy" If someone pulls out in front of you while driving and goes slower than you, you can shoot both rear tires out, drag them from their vehicle and beat the ever loving crap out of them. Someone doesn't stop at a stop sign and you have to brake... same as above. Driving in the hammer lane... same as above.

Max coupons at one time is 5. Don't dig in your purse for stupid coupons, have them ready. Same with ID and checkbook, change, etc or be prepared to be beaten. Cut in line = broken legs. No "Excuse me" = broken legs. Get rude with your waitress and you will be beaten until you are truly sorry, you can apologize when you wake up.

Instate cruel and unusual punishment. Public floggings. Public hangings. Death row fast lane. No life sentences. Evidence you're guilty? You will hang at dawn.

The list goes on..
 

PhlAsh

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I would create a radio station which continuously plays Black Betty by Ram Jam.
When WAFX started broadcasting in the '80s, they played Louie Louie nonstop for 24 hours. When they rebranded in the 90's, then played Let it Be for 24hours before adding a Stones song (I don't remember which) to the mix. Each day for the next week or so, they added a song to the mix...
 

Pem Tech

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With apologies to Three Dog Night and Hoyt Axton

If I were the king of the world
Tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the wars
Make sweet love to you

(Well not you people....)
I take offense to that...
Buy me dinner first then we'll talk about it.
 

dr wogz

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If I were king..
Fines would reflect your current income; you would pay a percentage of your income for any infraction, not a set amount.. (so it hurts no matter how rich you are!)
I would establish a baseline for a car / vehicle; basic weight, engine size & HP. If you're under, you get a refund, a bonus, a rebate.. if you're' over, you pay for the luxury, want, privilege.. (farmers, contractors & others would be exempt due to work requirements for a large vehicle, provided they can prove the need for..)
Reign in Big Pharma
Tax the church..
 
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