Tradition...what happened to it.

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flying_silverad

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Some things I wish would come back in style....

Taking your hat off in someone's home.

Holding the door for folks if you get to it first.


What about you?
 

hokkyokusei

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Originally posted by flying_silverad
Some things I wish would come back in style....

Taking your hat off in someone's home.

Holding the door for folks if you get to it first.

What about you?
Very seldom wear a hat of any description. Probably only on the flying field actually.

Holding a door open for someone? Probably do that every day.

Are we talking about tradition here, or just manners?
 

cydermaster

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Theres no excuse for bad manners!

A few pleases, thank-yous, doors held open and stopping to let somebody pull out of a side road, etc; make the world a better place to live in.
 

Rocketmaniac

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Originally posted by cydermaster
stopping to let somebody pull out of a side road, etc; make the world a better place to live in.

But that brings up the discussion of bad drivers. I think over half of the drivers in SC should not be allowed to drive!!!!! I drive a hour each way to school, five days a week. I have seen it all. Just yesterday, someone pulls our and cuts me off while I was traveling 55mph. THEN he only goes 35mph!!!!!!

I got to stop before my blood pressure goes too much higher!!!
 

KarlD

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I would like to see Fedoras Come back into style...Real hats not ball caps. People dressed better in the 50's
 

Fore Check

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Having lived in St. Louis, Chicago, po-dunk Oklahoma, California, and now smalltown Texas - I can say that the levels of "manners" and/or tradition varies, depending on where you live.

There was ZERO courtesy, manners, and tradition in California (at least, where I lived.)

But here in smalltown Texas, it's as if there's this implied competition among the folks to see who can show an *exemplary* level of courtesy (holding doors, saying "please" and "thank you" and "ma'am," the hats off, etc.)

Here's another one that floored me when I first moved here. I moved to Texas straight from California. Naturally, I was a bit of a "California driver" just by habit. You know, ride the person's bumper in front of you, drive like a bat out of h***, etc. Well, I'm going down the county highway driving like that and the folks in front of me would pull over on the shoulder of the road, and keep driving at what was their current rate of speed, to let me by. Happened all the time. I was wondering, "What are they doing, are they having car trouble?" I was shocked, to say the least.
 

illini

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Howsabout common courtesy toward one's neighbors? Is that tradition? If so, then its one that's been lost in my neighborhood. I could write pages about my neighbors, but fear it would start sounding like a Jeff Foxworthy routine. Here's just one: About a month ago our next door neighbor decided it would be a really good idea to roll his TV outside onto his deck so that he could watch it while sitting in the hot tub...at midnight. Of course, those stinkin' bubbles make a lot of noise, so the volume had to go WAAAAAY up for the TV to be heard. And what would a TV be without a VCR? In fact, let's watch a 3-hour movie in that ol' hot tub. That's right, Idiot (I don't recall his real name any more), was in his hot tub from midnight to 3 AM watching a movie outdoors at high volume. When the neighbors complained to him about it the next day he was shocked to learn that he had bothered anyone. Never crossed his mind.
 

jflis

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Some times, it's hard. I always hold a door. One day I noticed a reflection in the door indicating that someone was behind me. So I pulled the door open and stood aside to let the other person in.

Turns out it was a woman. A woman with an attitude. She sneared at me and snapped "you don't have to hold that door because I am a woman!". I was prepared though having just read a similiar situation in Dear Abby. I walked through commenting to her "I'm not, i'm holding it because I'm a gentleman."

SOmetimes you just can't win :)
 

shreadvector

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Simple solution.

Sneak up behind TV and tip into hot tub.

Then prepare teleplay for CSI episode.

Originally posted by illini
Howsabout common courtesy toward one's neighbors? Is that tradition? If so, then its one that's been lost in my neighborhood. I could write pages about my neighbors, but fear it would start sounding like a Jeff Foxworthy routine. Here's just one: About a month ago our next door neighbor decided it would be a really good idea to roll his TV outside onto his deck so that he could watch it while sitting in the hot tub...at midnight. Of course, those stinkin' bubbles make a lot of noise, so the volume had to go WAAAAAY up for the TV to be heard. And what would a TV be without a VCR? In fact, let's watch a 3-hour movie in that ol' hot tub. That's right, Idiot (I don't recall his real name any more), was in his hot tub from midnight to 3 AM watching a movie outdoors at high volume. When the neighbors complained to him about it the next day he was shocked to learn that he had bothered anyone. Never crossed his mind.
 

Mike

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TTYTT most the people I know (stereotypically bad-mouthed teenagers) are pretty courteous. Holding doors is common place and thanking the bus driver too.
 

r1dermon

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i always hold doors, sometimes people get in the way though, so its hard. like, they think they're gonna open it, but then i open it, and then they have to walk around the backside....
jim, i've met women like that. if someone said that to me, i'd probably go nuts.
 

wwattles

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As for removing hats, I'm forever having to tell somebody near me to take off his hat for the National Anthem. And it's not just kids, either.

Unfortunately, common sense and common courtesy aren't so common anymore.

Remember this one? "Look both ways before crossing the street." It implies that you shouldn't walk in front of moving cars, and especially if you're jaywalking. Doesn't stop people these days, who don't look, and glare at any car that even comes close to them, even though they're breaking the law.

Holding the door for strangers? Jim, I have a similar response to yours: "No, because you're a fellow human being." That usually shuts them up!

WW
 

flying_silverad

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The reason I even started this thread has alot to do with something I saw the other day. I was walking through a parking lot at our local grocery store and saw a guy that was about 50 get out of his car, and as he was walking up to the front door of the store, he completely cut off an older man (with a walker). I was so blown away, I had to say something. (My wife usually walks in the opposite direction when I get like this). Before I could even say anything he had cut infront of another women, opening a door to the store and just letting it shut without holding it. Because there is no smoking in the store, he was kind enough to drop his butt right at the door.
So, I picked the butt chased him down in the moddle of the store and said, "Sir, I believe this belongs to you?" and handed his butt to him. The guy turned red like a cherry, "What are you, some kinda of clown?" I put on my best poker face, "If a clown is considerate to the elderly, holds the door and keeps his garbage to himself, well I guess I should be shopping for a some funny shoes and a big red nose......have a nice day."
 

flying_silverad

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Remember this one? "Look both ways before crossing the street." It implies that you shouldn't walk in front of moving cars, and especially if you're jaywalking. Doesn't stop people these days, who don't look, and glare at any car that even comes close to them, even though they're breaking the law.

You won't believe this, but a local college has spent close to 250-300,000.00 dollars putting in raised cross walks across a road that seperates the college from Amherst Center. There are about 5 crossing in a 1/4 mile strecth. They are all raised about 12 inches over 8-15 feet and have little lights at surface level that blink when soemone is walking across. There's even a pool in town about how long it will take for the walk to be ruined from the state plows this winter.
The reason all of this was done? Because students at the this Ivy league college can't look both ways before they cross. They claim the drivers don't always stop when a student is in the middle of the road.
 

KarlD

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Originally posted by jflis
Some times, it's hard. I always hold a door. One day I noticed a reflection in the door indicating that someone was behind me. So I pulled the door open and stood aside to let the other person in.

Turns out it was a woman. A woman with an attitude. She sneared at me and snapped "you don't have to hold that door because I am a woman!". I was prepared though having just read a similiar situation in Dear Abby. I walked through commenting to her "I'm not, i'm holding it because I'm a gentleman."

SOmetimes you just can't win :)
You are the Gentleman Jim...

That Feminazi is the looser.
 

loopy

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The way I see it (at least here in the midwest) is that we've become a society of entitlement. The younger generations are handed everything they want without having to work for it. They feel they are entitled to everything they want, and as a result, they feel that when someone opens a door for them, they deserved it, and should not have to thank the person. It's all about "me". I was raised to be a gentleman, and it drives me nuts when I see selfish people that have no respect for others.

Loopy
 

rabidsheeep

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Originally posted by flying_silverad

Holding the door for folks if you get to it first.
hard to do...

if you hold it for a girl that means your a sexist pig who doesn't respect women...

now if you dont your a disrespectful unchivalrous horrible person...

then of course you get the people that never stop and your standing there for 20 minutes holding the door...

this is why i like those automatic sensoring doors :D

edit:

mkay just read jims post...
 

n3tjm

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I guess I have been raised right... because I don't find it hard to be courtious. I am nice to everyone. Hold doors, say hello, ingage in small talk. I make a lot of friends at work because of that.. It can also get you in trouble. One time Nancy called me in office and talked to me about one of the new girls last year... I did not recognized the name at the time, but she said she reported that I was harrssing her. They knew me, so instead of sending it to corperate (which would lead to my termination), they had a little talk with me... seems she was uncomfortable with my niceness :rolleyes:. Never had that problem again after that... but thats when I realized it could happen.
 

illini

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Is it cultural? Don't know, but our UK friends here don't seem to notice the same things we do.

Is it generational? Don't know, but can't imagine my mother or father getting in trouble for being nice to co-workers.
 

sahd

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I open doors, say please and thank you, and try to give my time and money to help others. I cann't help myself. I blame it all on my parents.

I just was talking father about this very subject. I told him I was trying to teach my son and daughter as well as he taught me.

Ron
 

Ryan S.

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Originally posted by jflis
Some times, it's hard. I always hold a door. One day I noticed a reflection in the door indicating that someone was behind me. So I pulled the door open and stood aside to let the other person in.

Turns out it was a woman. A woman with an attitude. She sneared at me and snapped "you don't have to hold that door because I am a woman!". I was prepared though having just read a similiar situation in Dear Abby. I walked through commenting to her "I'm not, i'm holding it because I'm a gentleman."

SOmetimes you just can't win :)
no good deed goes unpunished
 

MissileDaughter

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Originally posted by Loopy
The way I see it (at least here in the midwest) is that we've become a society of entitlement. The younger generations are handed everything they want without having to work for it. They feel they are entitled to everything they want, and as a result, they feel that when someone opens a door for them, they deserved it, and should not have to thank the person. It's all about "me". I was raised to be a gentleman, and it drives me nuts when I see selfish people that have no respect for others.

Loopy
I am one of those younger generation. I don't feel that I am entitled to anything. And, no one holds the door open for me: I hold the door open for THEM. And, when they walk through, I wish them a good day. And, when people do something for me, I say "thanks" and ask them what I can do to pay them back.
My dad bought me a car so that I could go to school. I offered to pay him back once I got a job. I know that I was not entitled to that car and I am thankful he did what he did.

And, personally speaking, whenever I am in a public setting, I am more than willing to help out others without being asked. Granted, I don't go up to the person and do stuff for them without asking them first because that would be rude.

When I am going down the road, if I am able to (if I see the person in time and some person is not riding my bumper), I do stop to let the person out if it is safe to.

Futhermore, manners and traditions does not have anything to do with generation. I have witness very great manners in both the "older" and the "younger" generations (like my friends, one in particular more than the others). On the other side of the coin, I have witnessed appualing rudeness from both generations.
 

hokkyokusei

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Originally posted by illini
Is it cultural? Don't know, but our UK friends here don't seem to notice the same things we do.
I've been to the US on numerous occasions, and I don't really recall people being ill mannered. Maybe it's regional within the US? I've been to various places for a few days at a time, but I spent most of my time in the south: Alabama, North & South Carolina and a few weeks in Denver.

I mean, there were rude people on the New York subway, but nothing that you don't see on the London Underground!
 

cydermaster

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Originally posted by illini
Is it cultural? Don't know, but our UK friends here don't seem to notice the same things we do.
Well ... the PC (Pollitically Correct) c**p died a death, about 5-6yrs ago over here, mostly thanks to our great comedy heritage (Carry On, Are you being served, Two Ronnies, Benny Hill, etc), making us realise how c**p PC is! (IMHO)

With that died all this nonscence over doors being held open being viewed as sexist - ITS POLITENESS!

Don't get me wrong, I'm a very "Right On!", sort of chap. I'm viemently anit-'isms'; race-ism, sex-ism, age-ism, etc; but being polite and friendly has nothing to do with that.

As a whole, Great Britain is a very polite nation; as long as you avoid the London area, Birmingham, the center of Bristol, and (of course) Slough. Head out towards the West country and Wales, oooop North, or even daaahn Essex way; and the people are much more friendly & polite. (/me puts on Nomex underwear, and awaits the (polite, of course, we are British after all) regional conflict he has just lit the QuickMatch fuse of) ;)
 

illini

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Hokky, that's a good point. To a certain degree, it IS regional. I grew up in the Midwest - Illinois to be exact (what...you were thinking maybe Iowa???) - and now live near Washington, DC. When I go home to the Chicago area once a year I notice major differences from the way people are around here. Won't bore you with the details, but you're right...and the southern states such as you've been to are generally known to be more well mannered.

Beth, I suspect you're also right that it isn't merely generational. Rather, maybe it correlates more with a sense of entitlement...that for whatever reason they think others should defer to them. People like John encountered at the grocery store probably don't even realize they're being rude. From his perspective, he probably thought the other people were being rude for not getting out of his way when entering the store.
 
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