Microsoft TV Dinners

The Rocketry Forum

Help Support The Rocketry Forum:

DavRedf

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 5, 2003
Messages
291
Reaction score
0
The Microsoft TV Dinner
Coming soon to a grocery store near you.

WELCOME TO MICROSOFT TV DINNER!

LICENSE AGREEMENT
By removing the product from the box and peeling back the plastic cover, you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.

Microsoft makes no claims for the fitness of this dinner for any purpose, including human consumption, and will not be responsible for damages of any kind in the event of the user's death or other loss or damage to the user or the user's kitchen, including but not limited to ovens, pots, pans, and related hardware.

INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS - PC OVENS
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:

\mstv.dinn.//[email protected]%heat// .

Then enter

ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\l/yum~yum-) gohot#cookme

INSTALLATIONS INSTRUCTIONS - UNIX OVENS
If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner (found on the package label), theweight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to your specification.

INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS - MACINTOSH OVENS
If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again.again.crap

This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor.

Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your equipment.

Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.

Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.

Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance. Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.
__________________

David
 

slim_t

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2003
Messages
746
Reaction score
0
This is hilarious, although long, still hilarious.
Maybe only to PC owners.
So does this mean I should buy a Mac?
I'm looking at laptops and will probably convert to Mac.

Tim
 

AlexM

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
932
Reaction score
0
I dont know, I've had both, and I definately prefer windows.
 

GL-P

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2004
Messages
1,618
Reaction score
0
Windows has the blue screen of death while macs just freeze up. Go with Unix!:D I'll have to show this to my dad!!!
 

Chuck Rudy

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
829
Reaction score
0
Macs run Unix (notice the JPL comuters)......and it's no longer a screen freeze it's the rotating beach ball of death. But in all honesty since I've switched to OSX.3 it hasn't happened in a year.......and I do not miss the beach ball. :cool:
 

Justin Horne

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 23, 2004
Messages
426
Reaction score
0
I've got a 1.25 PowerMac G4 running Panther (10.3.5) and I love it. It's never crashed, and i've really stressed it before. A few days ago I wass working in photoshop while iDVD was encoding a dvd, and it was just fine.
 

cydermaster

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2009
Messages
2,617
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by DavRedf
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash
lol - and how do you know its crashed? .... The glass screen on the front of the microwave goes blue! :D
 

KermieD

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
3,019
Reaction score
5
Of course, there are a million types of Microsoft dinners, but only 3 choices of Mac dinners, all of which cost twice as much and contain half the food.....
 

AlexM

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
932
Reaction score
0
...Until you swallow, then you throw it up.
 

Chuck Rudy

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
829
Reaction score
0
Virtual PC makes it possible for the Mac to do the blue screen of death........we can crash a PC program just as easily as you's. :cool:
 

Justy

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2003
Messages
299
Reaction score
0
] LOAD "DINNER"
PRESS PLAY ON TAPE
LOADING DINNER
READY
] RUN

:p
 
Top