Bad Jokes

[Zeus-cat]

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

 

[Zeus-cat]

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

 

[MALBAR 70]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?




Fsssh!

 

[tightwad]

Three pigeons were sitting on a roof. Paul noticed that Sam had a piece of string tied to him and to his mother. Paul asked Karen, Sam's mother, whats with the string? She replied that Sam is refusing to fly! Sam frustrated with his attempt to untie the string blurted out..."I don't want to be Pigeon Towed!"

 

[dr wogz]

the sign said "wet paint"

so I did..

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call two men with no arms and legs in a hole?

Doug and Phill

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call two men with no arms and legs next to a window?

Curt and Rod

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging from a wall?

Art

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs with a knife?

Dirk

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a mailbox?

Bill

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of a door?

Matt

 

[K'Tesh]

I entered a joke telling competition ten times.

Unfortunately I lost.

You see, no pun in 10 did.

 

[OverTheTop]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

 

[qquake2k]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs flying over a fence?

Homer

 

[Bat-mite]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes that can't move?

Still no eye deer.

 

[MALBAR 70]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs sitting on a stage?

Mike

 

[MALBAR 70]

What do ypu call a woman with one arm and one leg?

Ilean

 

[DAllen]

You can't surf microwaves cause they're too small.

 

[3stoogesrocketry]

Did you hear about the tacos new song ?

Its a wrap

 

[Gary Byrum]

Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump are sitting at a bar together, having a few drinks.

 

[Peartree]

Somehow you missed this one:

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs being towed behind a ski boat?

Skip.

 

[rockets]

My boss told me to have a good day.....................So, I went home.


Thanks,

 

[SCP]

How much do Santa and the Reindeer cost?








Nothing, they are on the house!

 

[Gary Byrum]

What do you call a dog with no front or back legs?

Doesn't matter. He isn't going to come..

 

[Gary Byrum]

Quadriplegic in a swimming pool?

Bob

 

[BABAR]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

 

[BABAR]

Did you hear about the new special interest group, DAM?

Mothers Against Dyslexia.

 

[Gary Byrum]

Did you hear North Carolina was building the biggest zoo in the nation?

They're putting a fence around South Carolina.

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call a pair of men with no arms or legs hanging out in the toolbox?

Phillips

 

[K'Tesh]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging out with the mob?

Don