Rocketeer
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Ok, I put too much effort into this to leave it buried down in the vendors thread where few would probably go
A Microsoft rocket would
A Microsoft rocket would weigh several time more then most model rockets its size because MS engineers have no idea how to develop an efficient design. Because of this you would be required to upgrade an M motor to lift a three foot long, 2.6 diameter rocket to 500 feet.
You would also have to upgrade the parachute to a 28ft T-10 parachute, and the ejection charge would require TNT instead of black powder.
The Microsoft rocket motor would suddenly stop mid-flight and then continue after an unspecified delay. The engine would also require electronics to perform an air-restart for those occasions when the motor stops completely. Strangely, you would consider this normal.
Launching a Microsoft rocket would require waiting three minutes after pressing the launch button, while the motor smolders, putts and coughs. If you upgraded to a higher power Intel igniter, this time would be reduced to approximately 15 seconds.
The ejection charge on the Microsoft rocket would ask you Are you sure before deploying.
You would be required to press the Launch button to stop the motor.
After the rocket lands, you would not be able to touch it for two minutes while the motor smolders, putts and coughs.
Microsoft would define a new standard for launch rods and launch controllers, requiring you to replace all your equipment.
The Microsoft Rocket could not be flown on more then one launch pad, unless you paid for additional licensing fees. It could only be flown for 30 days before requiring you to spend half an hour on the telephone entering its serial number, and all your personal information including SS number and mothers maiden name, to complete the registration process.
If you repainted your Microsoft rocket, you would have to repeat the registration process.
Microsoft would obsolete your rocket in six months and require you to upgrade to MS Rocket 2.0
With the release of Rocket 2.0, Microsoft will completely re-write the assembly instructions so that nothing goes where it did before.
The Microsoft Rocket would constantly shift both its CG and CP, independently, during flight. Microsoft would market this as a feature.
Microsoft will convince the general public that they need to buy a rocket with more thrust then a Saturn V just to fly at their local Boy Scout club launch in the city park
Microsofts marketing campaign will get people excited about the new features on their rocket while making them forget that the same features have been available on other rockets for years.
On the plus side, Microsoft would simplify the rocket so that any idiot could fly one. Then all rocket geeks will have to tolerate their friends constantly bothering them with questions like Does the pointy end go up?
Microsoft will attempt to shut down all other rocket companies by including copies of their most popular kits for free when you spend $999 on a Microsoft kit.
Microsoft will produce only two version of their rocket Rocket Home and Rocket Professional. Professional will cost twice as much Home, but no one at Microsoft will be able to tell you what the difference is.
And finally (I could go on about this for a long time )
Microsoft Rocket 2006 will be available in the second quarter of 2007.
By a Linux loving Engineer
A Microsoft rocket would
A Microsoft rocket would weigh several time more then most model rockets its size because MS engineers have no idea how to develop an efficient design. Because of this you would be required to upgrade an M motor to lift a three foot long, 2.6 diameter rocket to 500 feet.
You would also have to upgrade the parachute to a 28ft T-10 parachute, and the ejection charge would require TNT instead of black powder.
The Microsoft rocket motor would suddenly stop mid-flight and then continue after an unspecified delay. The engine would also require electronics to perform an air-restart for those occasions when the motor stops completely. Strangely, you would consider this normal.
Launching a Microsoft rocket would require waiting three minutes after pressing the launch button, while the motor smolders, putts and coughs. If you upgraded to a higher power Intel igniter, this time would be reduced to approximately 15 seconds.
The ejection charge on the Microsoft rocket would ask you Are you sure before deploying.
You would be required to press the Launch button to stop the motor.
After the rocket lands, you would not be able to touch it for two minutes while the motor smolders, putts and coughs.
Microsoft would define a new standard for launch rods and launch controllers, requiring you to replace all your equipment.
The Microsoft Rocket could not be flown on more then one launch pad, unless you paid for additional licensing fees. It could only be flown for 30 days before requiring you to spend half an hour on the telephone entering its serial number, and all your personal information including SS number and mothers maiden name, to complete the registration process.
If you repainted your Microsoft rocket, you would have to repeat the registration process.
Microsoft would obsolete your rocket in six months and require you to upgrade to MS Rocket 2.0
With the release of Rocket 2.0, Microsoft will completely re-write the assembly instructions so that nothing goes where it did before.
The Microsoft Rocket would constantly shift both its CG and CP, independently, during flight. Microsoft would market this as a feature.
Microsoft will convince the general public that they need to buy a rocket with more thrust then a Saturn V just to fly at their local Boy Scout club launch in the city park
Microsofts marketing campaign will get people excited about the new features on their rocket while making them forget that the same features have been available on other rockets for years.
On the plus side, Microsoft would simplify the rocket so that any idiot could fly one. Then all rocket geeks will have to tolerate their friends constantly bothering them with questions like Does the pointy end go up?
Microsoft will attempt to shut down all other rocket companies by including copies of their most popular kits for free when you spend $999 on a Microsoft kit.
Microsoft will produce only two version of their rocket Rocket Home and Rocket Professional. Professional will cost twice as much Home, but no one at Microsoft will be able to tell you what the difference is.
And finally (I could go on about this for a long time )
Microsoft Rocket 2006 will be available in the second quarter of 2007.
By a Linux loving Engineer