Reasons why the shuttle didn't launch (humerous)

[Reed Goodwin]

They're waiting for the JB Weld to cure on the motor retainer.

The dog ate the launch key.
Reed

 

[jadebox]

Copperhead ignitors.

-- Roger
https://www.payloadbay.com/

 

[North Star]

Launch card blew off the LCO's table -- and an alligator ate it

 

[CATO]

They decided cape canaveral dosen't have a big enough recovery area.

They put the wrong launch lug size on

They don't want to violate the NAR saftey code, which clearly states that rockets may only use a minimum amount of metallic material, and may not carry biological payloads other than insects.

 

[stl1951]

The LCO has seen the Estes Shuttle launch and is refusing to allow any shuttles to fly at this time.

 

[Donaldsrockets]

Or maybe it was because STS-115 Commander Brent Jett told the crew to take some vacation time and they all scattered and now NASA has to train 5 new crew members.

 

[rocketdad0934]

it's a heads up flight and they are waiting for the guy on the phone to pay attention!!!!

 

[cydermaster]

They've decided to use hybrids in the boosters, but hadden't accounted for the added faffing-around time

 

[Fuddrucker]

They decided to change out the shock cord from tubular nylon to kevlar.

There was no continuity.

Paint would not have been dry by launch time.

They forgot to arm the electronics.

After taking another look, one of the astronauts noticed that the quick link was not attached.

A bird pooped on the shuttles windshield.

 

[spaceshuttle]

Originally posted by wwattles
Perhaps

They rolled the shuttle all the way out to the pad and realized that they had forgotten to glue on the launch lug...
... and couldn't find a roll of tape big enough to hold it on.

They realized that their launch controller did not have the appropriate safety interlocks.

LCO realized he left the launch controller key in his OTHER pants.

The igniter wires weren't long enough to provide the new required safety distance.

Someone pointed out that the payload was going to be a live vertebrate animal.

But by far, the most likely:
Chuck Norris hadn't given them permission to launch yet.

(Wow... and I thought this thread was going to be about the bones of the upper arm... )

WW

HA! ain't that just like nasa!

 

[fyrfytr310]

Only used 5 min epoxy for fin fillets; one cracked due to torsional stresses on the vessel in transit to HPR line.

Nose cone requires taping to prevent drag sep.

They forgot to install shear pins.

Still trying to calculate how many 45in circular ripstops it would take to slow the shuttle to 20fps. (This one is a challenge to all you mathematicians/aeronautical nuts)

 

[m85476585]

Originally posted by fyrfytr310
Still trying to calculate how many 45in circular ripstops it would take to slow the shuttle to 20fps. (This one is a challenge to all you mathematicians/aeronautical nuts) /QUOTE]

About 52,000(?).

 

[melvyn]

The last TRA research launch was canceled and they don't have any commercial motors powerful enough to ensure a safe thrust-to-weight ratio.

NASA couldn't find anyone with a cert 2 or higher to act as RSO.

Rail guide came off and they're waiting for the JB Weld to cure on the replacement.

Someone stepped on the rail and bent it.

They couldn't get any black powder for the ejection charges.

 

[Rocketeer]

The official excuse from the NASA press release– “an issue found with one of Atlantis' three electricity-generating fuel cells”

Translation – The shuttle had a dead battery and no one could find a half mile long pair of jumper cables to allow a safe distance for the maintenance guys pick up truck to do the jump start…

This is, after all, Florida...

If you try to jump start a space shuttle using the Diehard in your Ford, you might be a redneck….

 

[jflis]

Nooooo, you folks have it ALL wrong!

I heard from the inside (they're not letting *this* one out) that they neglected to read the "mission objectives" close enough before getting her out there on the pad...

They missed the part about "850 feet and exactly 45 seconds"...

They're removing the egg for safe keeping till they get the metrics right...

Whew man, don't want to blow it *this* early!

Hope they get a "qualified flight"...

 

[Lucas]

Originally posted by jflis
Nooooo, you folks have it ALL wrong!

I heard from the inside (they're not letting *this* one out) that they neglected to read the "mission objectives" close enough before getting her out there on the pad...

They missed the part about "850 feet and exactly 45 seconds"...

They're removing the egg for safe keeping till they get the metrics right...

Whew man, don't want to blow it *this* early!

Hope they get a "qualified flight"...

LOL!!!! Thats funny.

 

[Bohica]

Lost the title on "Pinks"....

 

[Rock_It]

.

 

[submoa]

They couldn't find the Space Shuttle's door gunner who was suppose to be on duty.

 

[roadkill]

Awwww...

Submoa, that is sick - but I love it....


Maybe the arriving Tau Cetian 'weather balloon'
had the right of way during the launch window....

 

[SARocketMan]

Someone in the control room passed gas and there waiting for the smell to go.

 

[DJDeadParrot]

Nobody brought a 1/2" rod and the RSO won't sign off on launching it off a 1/4" rod.

The NARAM judges disqualified it because the external tank has the wrong number of corrugations.

Still waiting for previous flight, a boost glide model, to land.

Flight commander didn't bring LCO a cold drink from convenience store as promised.

 

[Rock_It]

.

 

[DaveCombs]

Originally posted by Bohica
Lost the title on "Pinks"....

LMAO - but to whom did they lose it? That's a drag race I gotta see!

 

[wwattles]

Sooo....

How many rocket scientists does it take to launch a Space Shuttle?

Apparently one more than they already have!

 

[huxley]

No, it's the Sweeds! Them and the Germans are buying up all the solid rocket motors East of the Mississippi!

NASA has ordered more motors from Thiokol. The SRBs will be shipped by horse-drawn carriages thru parts of Interstate 70 in Colorado.

 

[m85476585]

Originally posted by huxley
No, it's the Sweeds! Them and the Germans are buying up all the solid rocket motors East of the Mississippi!

NASA has ordered more motors from Thiokol. The SRBs will be shipped by horse-drawn carriages thru parts of Interstate 70 in Colorado.

Are horse-drawn carriages exempt from DOT restrictions?

 

[Balltip]

Big enough snap swivels for holding the brake chute were out at the fishin' store, so right now they have the highest bid on an EBay auction. It closes Tuesday evening, and then they have to wait for the mail...