Reasons why the shuttle didn't launch (humerous)

[Donaldsrockets]

I remember last year when the Return to Flight mission was delayed for various reasons, a thread was started with jokes about why the launch was scrubbed. Anyway, that thread brought me to my knees with laughter so I thought it'd be fun to start a new humerous thread on the subject and to pass the time during this round of delays.


I think the real reason that the shuttle didn't launch because NASA forgot critical fuel cell maintenance.

 

[skippy-2]

Apparently there were flat batteries in their Electron Beam controller.

 

[Bowhunter]

or they found out they didnt have there paper work for there lvl3 cert

 

[matthew]

Someone goofed and bought copperhead igniters.

 

[cydermaster]

Maybe they found that the boosters are not CE marked?

 

[adrian]

Originally posted by skippy-2
Apparently there were flat batteries in their Electron Beam controller.

The official excuse is that one of the three fuel cells providing electricity to the shuttle malfunctioned. Sounds like a flat battery to me.

Other possible reasons:
. They left their ignitors at home.
. Someone forgot to put the ejection charge in the starboard booster.
. A horse ride was going past. (Probably only meaningful to those who were at IRW. )

 

[matthew]

They are still waiting for a plumber.

 

[loopy]

A BATFE agent showed up and asked to see their LEUP...

 

[vjp]

They DO have a LEUP, don't they?

I mean, any private individual, corporation, or research group that stores and handles AP-based motors of sufficient size must have a LEUP, without exception - or the BATF's going to come knocking on your door.

Does anyone have a copy of NASA's LEUP?

 

[HotRod Lincoln]

Dirty aligator clips!
Got any contact cleaner in the truck?

The guy with the fresh battery went to get coffe?

Dang..... a soccer game on the launch field!

 

[vjp]

14. The wind was blowing STRAIGHT for that line of trees over there, and nobody had a long enough pole if it landed in one...

 

[nomad]

I believe they are all secretly Star Trek nerds and wanted to wait till the 40th anniversary(Sept. 8)

 

[graylensman]

The SRB motors have been de-certified by the NAR.

 

[Roman]

The SRBs were never certified, because TMTs teststand is too small...

 

[TWRackers]

Originally posted by vjp
They DO have a LEUP, don't they?

I mean, any private individual, corporation, or research group that stores and handles AP-based motors of sufficient size must have a LEUP, without exception - or the BATF's going to come knocking on your door.

Does anyone have a copy of NASA's LEUP?

They're the Government. They don't NEED an LEUP.

 

[jflis]

no man!

They forgot to remove the safety cap on the launch rod!

And that sucker is huge! Takes 12-14 hours to hoist it off and get it back to launch control!

(don't forget, the safety key is hanging off the darned thing )

 

[gpoehlein]

Someone stepped on the launch rod and bent it. They gotta hammer it out straight, and it takes a LOOOONG time to hammer out a launch rod that long!

Greg

 

[TeenRocketNerd]

they locked the keys to start it inside the orbiter (they're still looking for the hide-a key )

Their TRA membership lapsed, now that have to go through cert. flights again.

 

[roadkill]

They forgot to file FAA notification,
so Mr. Airman didn't grant a waiver....

The Russian prankster hung a sign
'Yankee go home' on ISS entry hatch....

 

[TWRackers]

The igniter fell out on the pad?


By the way, can you visualize the SRBs chuffing on the pad? Or an SRB motor mount slipping so the motor slides up into the tube? BIG Krushnic Effect!

 

[Roman]

They forgot to clean the rail and now the railguides don`t fit.

They forgot to put in the ejection charge.
Now there`s huge red cylinder filled with BP lying somewhere in the prepping area.

They forgot their tape at home.

Launch lug broke off

 

[matthew]

Continuity bulb on the launch controller broke.

 

[GlennW]

They couldn't find the removable fin units...

Glenn

 

[Balsa Bob]

They were going to drag race and the other guy hasn't shown up yet.

 

[matthew]

After failing to launch last week, they have to wait until China and Russia launch until the LCO gets to their turn again.

 

[wwattles]

Perhaps

They rolled the shuttle all the way out to the pad and realized that they had forgotten to glue on the launch lug...
... and couldn't find a roll of tape big enough to hold it on.

They realized that their launch controller did not have the appropriate safety interlocks.

LCO realized he left the launch controller key in his OTHER pants.

The igniter wires weren't long enough to provide the new required safety distance.

Someone pointed out that the payload was going to be a live vertebrate animal.

But by far, the most likely:
Chuck Norris hadn't given them permission to launch yet.

(Wow... and I thought this thread was going to be about the bones of the upper arm... )

WW

 

[TeenRocketNerd]

they're waiting for a big shipment of dog barf to come in, so they can pack the SRB chutes. (no money in the NASA budget to put baffles in )

 

[cydermaster]

Can't find enough quickmatch to fuse up all the engines?

 

[agrippo]

Pat G. has been too busy with LDRS and AIRFest to make the thermite igniters.

 

[melvyn]

The Tripoli BOD refused their application for a >25,000 foot flight...