Is this a violation of the guy code?

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Is this a violation of the guy code?

  • Yes, your boss violated the guy code by hanging you to dry in a shameful way

  • No, you got what you deserved


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Zeus-cat

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Here is some background. My group got a new boss two weeks ago when our previous boss got tasked to head a special team at the company. The new guy gets permission to come out to see me in Ohio, then go to Indiana to see another guy in my group and then to Kansas to see two more people before heading home to Phoenix. So he is at each site for a day or two. He also got permission to bring along Miss N who is the newest member of our group (been with us about 2 years and this is also the first time we have met face to face).
They show up at my facility first thing Monday morning. I show them the various things I do, the computer programs I use, the people at my site I interact with, etc. We have a nice day and the meetings go well and at the end of the day we discuss what we need to get done on Tuesday. After we finish all of the business talk I offer to launch some model rockets after work if they are interested. They both think that sounds interesting so we arrange to meet at my house at 6PM.

They show up at my house and I introduce them to my wife and the four of us head to the local park about 5 minutes away. I had 9 rockets ready to go so we get things set up and launch all 9. I had a few hard landings and some less than perfect flights, but a good time was had by all and no serious damage to any rockets. I launched 3 A’s, 3 C’s and 2 D’s motors. I had considered putting up my Estes Maxi V-2 on an E18-4 to give them a taste of mid power, but it hasn’t flown yet and the wind was blowing a little harder than predicted so I left it at home.

We get back to my house about 7:15 and we do some small talk in the driveway. I show them one of my high power rockets and explain the dual deploy concept. At some point they notice all the squirrels running around and I mention that we feed the birds, but that the squirrels really eat a lot of the bird seed. My wife quickly adds that the special anti-squirrel baffles we bought from the nature center really work great; the squirrels can’t get past them. I add somewhat sarcastically that they better work for what we paid for them (they were $50 each, but they really have stopped the squirrels and the shop is a non-profit that supports a really nice park). My boss turns to me and asks, “So what does a motor cost for that big rocket?” “I say, they range from $30 to $40 each.” He jokingly says, “I don’t think you have any reason to complain about the cost of those squirrel baffles!”
I was shocked I tell you; shocked beyond belief. He took my wife’s side in the discussion! I’m a guy, he’s a guy, isn’t he honor bound by the guy code to support me in my manly rocketry endeavors over the feminine desire to feed cute little birdies??? Secondly, I am his employee; shouldn’t he support me for that reason alone; especially in front of my coworker (Miss N)?

The shame and shock of it all was nearly too much to bear; hung out to dry in front of two women by a fellow man. So I put it to fellow rocketeers; did my new boss violate the guy code?
 
Here's a bit of free advice. Never complain about what the wife spends until she out spends you.

In my house high power motors cost $3.79 each. :)

Great story just the same.
 
Here's a bit of free advice. Never complain about what the wife spends until she out spends you.

In my house high power motors cost $3.79 each. :)

Great story just the same.

Yep, then use that as fuel to increase your budget. ;)
 
So I put it to fellow rocketeers; did my new boss violate the guy code?
Always protect the wimmin. He showed that he's got your back, by sticking up for your wooman, in a roundabout way.

Also, by sticking up for the $50 expense that the wooman liked, he's also letting her know that the $30 to $40 for your engines is below griping level - score one for you!
 
Yeah, you kinda deserved that. I keep my motor and kit spends below her monthly hair, nail, and "other" female type services she has done. We're about on Par for shoes, but I have bad feet, and she drives a new-ish Lexus to my 11 yr old ford sport trac, but I am looking for a newer (cannot buy new) one (adrenalin) that will cost more than her Lexus did...

It's all about balance and keeping thine mouth shut when smart to do so.


...and from the title, and the "miss N", I thought the story was going to be a WHOLE lot different!:grin:
 
Perhaps I read it wrong, but the boss' remark sounded more light-hearted than anything else. By catching you off guard and making a casual comparison of your rocket motor purchases and your squirrel baffles I think that he was showing that he was comfortable with you and had made a connection. I don't think he was violating any "guy code," whatever the heck that is. (What is it, anyway? I have never heard of the concept.)

If I had been there, I probably would have said pretty much the same thing. And I would have just been messing with you as well.

Wow, you really invited him to watch you launch rockets, and he accepted? And then he actually came and didn't act offended? THIS IS A GOOD GUY TO WORK FOR!! (And Miss N came along too? Unbelievable...) Forget it then, you're in like Flynn with this guy. Treat him like your Godfather.

(I can't even imagine what it must be like to have a boss and a co-worker who wouldn't roll their eyes, check their watches and suddenly "remember" an urgent appointment that they had to leave for if I ever mentioned my interest in model rocketry. Get out of here -- you just won the lottery.)

Some people have all the luck...
 
I think it's totally justified that we get mocked for the prices we spend. Putting an M or N up is a huge investment, and it will burn for less than a minute. For the cost of an N10000 you could buy 16 of those baffles :D
 
Guy code...

I don't see a clear violation of Guy code... Like DavidQ said, i think there may have been some, "odd help", in that type of comparison.

Also, he may have been offended... some Men are very offended when husbands have to "approve" the worth of something thier wife likes... If she brought it up, she obvoisly likes them, the to say (for the price they better work) indicates you didnt approve of her "idea" or support the funds.

I offended a boss of mine one time, in regards to cordial polite conversaion when my wife was present... (note to self, boss, and family dont mix.) Some Men really take notice to how other men treat women. Guy code does not apply there.
 
Bosses are exempted from the guy code, employees however are not so keep that in mind if the boss wants to do lunch at the local strip joint.
 
My boss is a well paid CEO/CFO and a pretty responsible bean counter, He knows I fly rockets and asked me how much I spent on motors. He practically crowed when I told him and exclaimed he paid less for his golf fees than I did launching. He said it was much closer to 'expendable income' than any other hobby he'd heard of. I just hope he doesn't hold that against me when it's time for my review!!
 
Here's a bit of free advice. Never complain about what the wife spends until she out spends you.

I don't complain about my wife's Starbucks habit even though I'm pretty sure she out spends me with the rockets...because that way she can't complain about said rockets. Well she can, but I can stop the argument pretty quickly.
 
I don't complain about my wife's Starbucks habit even though I'm pretty sure she out spends me with the rockets...because that way she can't complain about said rockets. Well she can, but I can stop the argument pretty quickly.

I'd call your situation symbiotic - her habit keeps you in parts.
 
I don't believe there's much of a guy code now days, that said, in our present culture most men are hen pecked and let thier women rule them. Yea..I'm old school neanderthal, don't get me wrong, I treat my wife with respect and the honor she deserves but I rule the house, it works pretty well, We've got twenty seven years of marriage behind us.

Sounds to me like he was hitting on you'r wife.
 
Here's a bit of free advice. Never complain about what the wife spends until she out spends you.

In my house high power motors cost $3.79 each. :)

Great story just the same.


Well, almost right... it's best to never complain about what the wife spends, period. :wink:

Nice post.

Verna
www.vernarockets.com
 
I don't believe there's much of a guy code now days, that said, in our present culture most men are hen pecked and let thier women rule them. Yea..I'm old school neanderthal, don't get me wrong, I treat my wife with respect and the honor she deserves but I rule the house, it works pretty well, We've got twenty seven years of marriage behind us..

I disagree with 1 thing here. There IS a guy code, but you are correct that most men get mowed, groomed, molded or whatever by their wives. Our "guy code" gets shoved on the back burner. Why? We allow it it to happen. The truth sucks, but it's the truth. Verna, you sound typical. This is prolly why I prefer to remain single. I have no need to be molded and reshaped. There's a great lot of value to being in control of your own money.
 
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The vote was a lot more one sided then I thought it would be. Just for the record, neither my wife or I seriously complain about what the other person spends on hobbies. As a matter of fact we usually have to convince the other one to buy something if it is a bit pricey. It took me 5 years to get her to buy her sewing machine. I bought her a serger for Christmas one year as I knew she would "think about it" for years before she would actually go buy one.

The squirrel baffle thing sounds like it was about money, but it really wasn't. I didn't mind spending the money for the baffles as the stupid (I suppose I should say damn clever) squirrels would eat more than that in seeds in just a few months. The baffles have paid for themselves when you look at it that way. It's just when I look at the baffles I have trouble seeing why they cost so much. The design is pretty simple. $15 or $20 looks much more reasonable to me for what you get. As I said in the first post; the baffles were purchased from a non-profit gift shop at a nature center so the money supports a good cause.

The boss flew in from Phoenix (2,000 miles away) for several days so that night he was either going to sit in his hotel room and work or come over and watch rockets for an hour. Miss N came up from Mexico so she may have never seen model rockets before. I think I sold them on the idea when they came to visit me on Monday morning and I had my Fliskits ACME Spitfire sitting on my desk. They really didn't know whether to believe me or not when I told them it actually flew. My boss was quite surprised when it flew straighter than most of the other rockets I launched.

I have to give the boss credit; he is the first person (other than my wife) to actually understand the name of the first rocket I launched for them. I call it Brownian Motion.

Here are some of the varmints that cause the problems. We have quite a few albinos in the area, but seeing three at once was very odd. I have counted as many as 12 grey squirrels hanging around the feeders at one time. We do throw out sunflower seeds and peanuts for them which is why my wife gets annoyed when they go after the actual bird feeders.

Albino Squirrel 2.jpg

3 Albino Squirrels.jpg
 
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I think it was all tongue in cheek. Again, nice post.

We never argue about money. We learned a long time ago to set budgets and stick to them so that "fun money" is never in question by anyone.

Verna
www.vernarockets.com
 
I think it was all tongue in cheek. Again, nice post.

We never argue about money. We learned a long time ago to set budgets and stick to them so that "fun money" is never in question by anyone.

Verna
www.vernarockets.com

I do think this is good advice. I never argue with my wife anymore.
 
All this tells me is that you need one of these:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00004ZB4U/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20

Fun for all.

My wife and I bought one for my parents. I actually get excited when I see a squirrel in the back yard. We watched one hang on for about ten seconds before getting ejected. Poor little guy walked sideways for a bit he was so dizzy. We all laughed so hard we had tears in out eyes. Without a doubt one of the best things I ever dropped a hundie on.
 
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In my opinion, logic trumps the guy code. Your new boss had a point...
my feeling is: I know perfectly well what gender I am, I don't need to participate in any rituals or adhere to any unwritten code of conduct to remind myself of that fact.
 
I disagree with 1 thing here. There IS a guy code, but you are correct that most men get mowed, groomed, molded or whatever by their wives. Our "guy code" gets shoved on the back burner. Why? We allow it it to happen. The truth sucks, but it's the truth. Verna, you sound typical. This is prolly why I prefer to remain single. I have no need to be molded and reshaped. There's a great lot of value to being in control of your own money.

Very well said. I think you put it better than I did. I think the only time the guy code is stricktly adhered to is when there are no women around.
 
Not sure, but I would not use it against you wife to get rockets. I suspect that you wife is smart enough for that to backfire.
 
Very well said. I think you put it better than I did. I think the only time the guy code is stricktly adhered to is when there are no women around.

Hence the famous quote, "A woman will marry a man hoping he will change, but he doesn't. A man will marry a woman hoping she won't change, but she does."

For the record this may not apply to everyone but it's famous nonetheless.
 
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