Unfair punishments?

[Orion14ed]

Guys, I need to vent.

I am a straight A student, never got in trouble, never had a note home, assignments in on time. Teachers love me. Well, yesterday, I recieved a detension. Now, you must do something pretty bad to do that? Right? Wrong.

Let me give you the situation. I am in art class, sitting down, working on my turkey drawing. (It was terrible btw) My friend sits down. I say hi and something else, she and I are then quite. I speak no more that class. Not even a word. The rest of the class gets loud, and then the teacher yells at us to get quite.

This is the good part. My "friend" ("" will be explained) is across the table. He has his paper over his head, and he shows it to me, and laughs, I laugh as well, because, it is a REALLY bad turkey. The teacher turns around and gives us detentions. I say I am sorry, but I do not know why I am getting one, she said I was talking. I tried to explain I was not. She would not hear it. I deserve to be punished she says.

Okay, so I guess laughing is wrong now. That is what I understood. I recieve my letter to my parents it says "Brendan, after being told not to talk, carried on laughing and talking with shawn." The letter itself was written with poor grammar, and incorrect spelling. That right off the bat gets me upset.

Lets pick it apart now... From what I have told you, please form an opinion and write it. Sorta like before I tell you my side, your point of view.

A. Being told not to speak.
The whole class was loud, I spoke at the start, a good 20 mins before this, and when she told ALL of us to stop I did. The only other thing I said was hi and thank you to my friend. She did warn the whole class many times, and I listened. But saying she told ME personally is simply not true.

B. Laughing and talking with Shawn
Shawn and I do not get along. He really dislikes me. I do not particularly enjoy his company as well. We spoke no time in the class, before or after we laughed. We do not like eachother, and do not get along. We respect that, and do not speak unless we must for projects and such. Saying we were talking is simply incorrect. "Carried on" implies that after a warning, which again, was not issued to me or him for speaking, because we did not, we continued to speak and laugh. We laughed for about 5-10 seconds. You know, your nominal "why...just why..." laugh. It was a bad drawing, and he was laughing at himself, he showed me, and we shared a fine giggle.

C. This is what gets me. I have no issue at all being punshed. If I do wrong, I know it, and am man enough to admit I screwed up and take what I have coming. In our school we have a system. First warning, not generalized, personal. "Brendan, be quite" Is an example. No such thing was recieved. Then, a stay in from lunch. Simple enough, you did something bad, but hey, its not that bad to need further action. Then, a note home meaning, you mocked the teacher, swore, ext. No such thing was given, nor was a stay in from lunch. Then it is a detention. You have to be pretty bad to get one of those. And trust me, I am a really good person. I try my best to stay out of trouble. Never got in any. I am loud however, and that can get me a "Brennndaaaannnn" once in a while, but other than that really nothing of the sort.

D. After I got out of art class, my 8th grade home room teacher had to give me the slip. She asked me and Shawn what we had done. We both said, we really don't know. After all, we just laughed. She gave us a look and said "Common, Really?" Him and I then said "I guessed we laughed, that was about it" She asked if we talked. I said "I never spoke to him, he never spoke to me. Am I incorrect?" He said "I said nothing to Brendan, he never spoke to me." She then gave us the Well... that is odd... this says you did... look. I got my slip. The slip I worked so hard never to get. For something in my opinion so stupid.

E.After art, my friend said "You got a detention? For what?" I said I really don't know. I was told by the girl that sat down above, that if I got one, she should have had it three times over. My mom after school walked in, and without saying a word, 2 kids in my class said "Brendan did nothing, he laughed, he should not get one". My point is, if I get this, then it should be given to everyone else as well. Even after I got it, people still were talking, with no punishment.


What is your point of view? I am really upset right now. I came home crying. I am a good student, teachers trust me. Never done anything wrong. I work really hard to do well, and to be a good person. Do I deserve this punishment? If I do, please give me a reason. I really have no idea what I did.

If this has happend to you, feel free to post it. An unfair accusation, you did not get the promotion because he thought you did something, ext.

I am going to argue this. With my mom. I have to serve it Monday. I go to a catholic school... (Don't start anything please. Not to think you would...) And if this would hurt my chance if I do go to a Catholic highschool, I would be really upset.


Sorry guys, but I had to "complain". Life just is not fair now is it...

 

[GDJ]

A simple detention, especially one and only one, will not hurt you when it comes to High School. So don't worry about that.

Sounds like the teacher was just being frustrated over a loud classroom and was at her wits end, and you and Shawn were just unfortunate targets.

Altho' giggling after the teacher basically said to be quiet was kind of egging her on a bit.


My 2¢: Do the detention. Get it over with, and try not to giggle at the wrong time next time.

 

[Tarasdad]

Sounds like the teacher has minimal teaching skills, among which the most fundamental is the ability to keep control of your class without having to resort to punishments.

 

[Marc_G]

I'm with GDJ. Serve the detention and move on.

It's clear you got a bum rap. Sure. You know it, and your parents probably know it. But teachers can't be perfect in their discipline. There was a straw that broke her back and you were unfortunately the first one in her sights when she saw red.

A similar situation happened to me when I was in middle school (man, that was a long time ago... bell bottom pants were still around...). My one and only "demerit" was a bum rap as well. In my case, I deserved it lots of other times but never got one, but this time I was innocent but got blamed. I served it and moved on with life.

I understand the need to explain to the teacher that she was wrong, but it won't help. Sometimes injustices occur, this sounds like one of them, but it is a small one and best ignored. Sorry, I wish I had a better answer for you.

The good thing is that you are clearly an upstanding guy and I'm sure your future is bright. Don't worry about this minor blemish.

Marc

 

[mkadams001]

So, we have half the story, time for the teacher to present her argument....enjoy the detention.

 

[rcktnut]

I would say that laughing right after a teacher has just told the class to quite down is not a good thing.

 

[RadManCF]

I'd be curious to hear what the teacher would have to say also. I can't say that I have much first hand knowledge of school discipline, as I was homeschooled from third grade onward, but from what I remember and have been told by others, the standards of due process are low, collective punishment is popular, and if any type of appeals process exists, they don't make it easy to use. On the flipside, it's not going to follow you for very long.

 

[GDJ]

Hey Orion! Get the teacher's e-mail. Lets get her side of the story on this!

 

[Bubba02STi]

1 detention? thats it? I think i spent a good portion of my school years in detention. You do the crime you do the time. It's plain and simple. If a teacher tells you to hush you hush it. Your life isn't over just buck up and do the detention and get it over with.

 

[Aksrockets]

Oh, Ive gotten in so much less trouble for so much more and Ive never gotten detention...
Sounds like you just got one of those teachers. Bleh....

Alex

 

[Peartree]

It's fair to complain but, fair or not, you got the detention, you should do the time. It is a fact of life that life isn't always fair. it isn't fun, but you need to learn to deal with it. In the future, you will be chastised by your boss for doing exactly what he/she told you to do in the first place and they will deny telling you the very things they told you. Idiots who cost your company time and money (and some of whom are a waste of space and oxygen) will be promoted over you for no obvious reason. You will be sent on errands/jobs/missions with no apparent purpose other than to waste your time, and many other things.

Sometimes life just poops in your cereal.

Sorry that today was your day.

 

[Pippen]

Teacher speaking here (currently a substitute teacher, most days at a middle school).

When I say "no talking" or "quiet", I do expect it quiet and in some situations I also expect the attention of the class to be on me or on the assigned task. To me "no talking" includes laughter, nonverbal messing around, and other disruptive noises. Surely this isn't news to you...? If you seriously aren't aware of this, then it's a good time to take notice because it's an awareness you'll need in high school and college.

Sometimes when a class isn't cooperative I recognize that I'm going to have to take firmer steps to get the job done. Once I draw that line mentally the next student or students who act out receive the consequence. Nearly always the recipient is a student who wasn't cooperating in the first place. It sounds like you just got caught in the line of fire this time, as if you say you'd been silent for the duration of the class period up to that point. But--in my opinion--that is the consequence for not being attentive any time after the teacher made the expectation clear.

I know consequences are hard for well-behaved, hard-working students but one lone detention won't hurt you. I once gave an excellent student the one-and-only detention of his school career and he didn't think it was a fair one. He came out of the 30-minute ordeal unscathed and is now a vice president of a major corporation, making a whole lot more money than I ever will.

 

[T-Rex]

Basically, contrary to what you may have been told, at your age there is no "permanent record" (unless you get in trouble with the law). Make the best of the situation, and move on.

I snapped one day in class. Vance Black was sitting beside me was talking and I could not hear the teacher. I don't recall what I said, but you could have heard a pin drop afterwards, because I snapped and yelled, basically trying to get said child to shut up so I could hear. Cliffs notes: I had a choice of the paddle (yes they did have them back then) or write 500 times "What you do represents you." Took me from the time I got home until well after my bed time to finish writing. (I'm a wuss and would have embarassed myself even more if I had taken the paddle) That sentence is about the only thing I consciously remember from Mrs Parson's 9th grade English class.....

It is what it is, just go with it. Spend detention designing a rocket or something usefull like that. (Just don't get caught....)

 

[bill_s]

I had a teacher that when you did something wrong, she'd grab you by the ear, and the only way you'd be getting away was without an ear. Yes, life is unfair, but it could be worse. (You said not to rag on Catholic school, but from what I've heard, they used to be tough.)

 

[NateB]

Like the others said, right or wrong I would just quietly serve the detention. It is no big deal really.

My junior year in high school I had a social studies teacher who docked 10% off my total grade because I fell asleep during a boring movie. I had a little over 100% in the class already, spent the weekend camping and camping with friends and was pretty tired still during a 1st period class. Yes, I should not have fallen asleep but docking my grade was uncalled for. My guidance counselor agreed, but I never fought it because it barely affected my grades in the long run.

 

[Rocketbuilder]

Sounds like a typical* school teacher to me. I'm dealing with a similar one in 9th grade biology, but I think his problem is different. Anyway, it sounds to me like the detention is BS, and I personally would do my best to let everyone know that. My parents get it enough that if that happened to me, they would go in and let the school know that the detention was BS, but I'm lucky, I guess.
Also, I disagree with the mentality of "you got the detention, so serve it," because getting it evidently had nothing to do with deserving it. But hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. RadmanCF, you heard right!
Now, look at who's posted what. Do you see a pattern?

*Yes, I know there are some really good teachers. I've had a few, but generally speaking they are unfortunately rare.

 

[jpummil]

Basically, contrary to what you may have been told, at your age there is no "permanent record" (unless you get in trouble with the law). Make the best of the situation, and move on.

I snapped one day in class. Vance Black was sitting beside me was talking and I could not hear the teacher. I don't recall what I said, but you could have heard a pin drop afterwards, because I snapped and yelled, basically trying to get said child to shut up so I could hear. Cliffs notes: I had a choice of the paddle (yes they did have them back then) or write 500 times "What you do represents you." Took me from the time I got home until well after my bed time to finish writing. (I'm a wuss and would have embarassed myself even more if I had taken the paddle) That sentence is about the only thing I consciously remember from Mrs Parson's 9th grade English class.....

It is what it is, just go with it. Spend detention designing a rocket or something usefull like that. (Just don't get caught....)

I ALWAYS took the paddle :grin: Over quickly, and on with it :wink:

And...I deserved it EVERY single time :blush:

 

[LW Bercini]

The sad fact is, it is middle school (or Jr high, or whatever it is called this decade). A few lucky people will tell you otherwise, but for most of us, that was the worst period of our lives. Life sucks, people suck, parents suck, teachers suck. Nobody gives anybody a fair shake. Don't be surprised if there are other times you get slammed because of something somebody else did. Also, other people will get credit for things YOU did. Deal.

But don't dispair. It really does get better. Don't let this time in your life drag you down. Learn from it. Learn to cope. Learn to protect yourself from the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune"

Believe us, in a couple of years you'll be golden.

 

[pick1e]

Indeed, no talking really means no communicating. Live and learn. It's demeaning to get in trouble for something stupid when you're a good kid, but it happens to all of us. No way will it reflect on you long term.

In a few years you'll be driving and some day you'll get a bogus ticket. It just happens.

 

[closet astronaut]

Catholic school...that explains it...celibate teachers, they're always cranky, get used to it, when you start driving you'll be runing into cops with the same problem only they don't give detention's they give BIG FAT ticket's that cost hundreds of dollars, be happy no one's taking any thing out of you'r wallet!

 

[Zonie]

Umm... "Quite" What?

 

[Rocketman248]

Ditto all of the above. Detention really isn't a big deal. I spent so many days after school stuck in detention. Just think of it as an extra study hall, and get some homework done.

Don't bother fighting it. It'll be easier and less stressful to just get it over with. I've had a few days like yours. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting detention for it sucked, but I got over it very quickly. I don't even remember the situations any more.

 

[paul.nortness]

One time I got in trouble for causing a ruckus on the school bus going home. I was probably a sophomore at the time....most definitely still an underclassman....got called out of class to report to the principal's office.

"Paul, do you know why you were called into my office?"....No sir, not really......"I called you into my office because of the incident on the bus where you (insert some naughty thing here) last Wednesday".....Did you say last Wednesday?......"Yes".....You mean last Wednesday when I was home with the flu?......"Oh"

 

[Bravo52]

I think all those who said "quietly server the detention" are wrong. It will only abdicate your right to be heard. If you lose the appeal, participate in the detention. If they get you to give up, then they won even if they are wrong....

 

[grouch]

Think of detention as a study hall and get some crap done while you are there. As for the punishment it's self, chalk it up to getting poked with the poop stick of life. Nobody can avoid it for long and we all take a turn or two. Having been on both sides of the table, I can tell you in no uncertain terms that her job is harder than yours and she faces an enormous pile of stress from many different directions. Let it go, apologize to her for being disruptive even though you weren't and see what happens. You never know what happened to her that day with other students or other faculty. You will never know if her mother or father is ill or if her car didn't start in the morning. I don't like to admit it but I have been harder on students than I should have, humanity makes mistakes. The key is try to learn something from everything and you are ahead of the game.

 

[Fred22]

It's a detention not a public flogging. Seems much ado about very little to me. Part of growing up is learning that stuff happens so you deal with it and move on.
Cheers
Fred

 

[RadManCF]

I think all those who said "quietly server the detention" are wrong. It will only abdicate your right to be heard. If you lose the appeal, participate in the detention. If they get you to give up, then they won even if they are wrong....

There's somthing to that idea, but it's also worth learning to choose your battles. In my opinion, goings on in middle school aren't worth fighting over, except in extreme circumstances. As others have said, this isn't going to hurt you in the long run. As for the teacher, I'd imagine that an art teacher isn't going to have much pull in faculty politics...

 

[paul.nortness]

It's a detention not a public flogging. Seems much ado about very little to me. Part of growing up is learning that stuff happens so you deal with it and move on.
Cheers
Fred

+1

Does it suck? Sure.

Is it really worth causing a big uproar over? Not really.

Life is all about learning when to stand up and fight and when just stand there and take it on the chin. Like my mother used to tell me "You need to learn to pick your battles".

Seems these days, people are willing to stand up and fight over every little injustice that is done to them.

The bottom line, you know you were right....be the bigger person and accept the punish and take it on the chin.....it builds character.

 

[Zeus-cat]

You just learned that life isn't fair. This is a minor bump in the road.

Something similar happened to me once in grade school. A teacher gave me detention for handing in an assignment written in pencil and she wanted it done in pen (or maybe the other way around, or some other infraction equally trivial). When I showed up to serve the detention she told me I had to finish the assignment and hand it in before I could leave. I told her I had turned the assignment in on time. She looked at me like I had two heads and then mumbled that after I served the 60 minutes of detention I could leave. She had to leave to go to a staff meeting. Nothing was ever mentioned again. Clearly she had screwed up and wasn't about to admit it. The same thing happened to your teacher. She looked around the room and saw you laughing or saying one word and decided that you were the troublemaker.

 

[T-Rex]

Essentially, as I tell my 31yo daughter.... "Welcome to the big peoples world! Poo-poo happens, get over it." It is tough being 13/14/15, even 18 or 51, you will most likely wake up the next day, just the same as the last, but maybe a little wiser in the ways of the world.

Just think you can tell the future TRF generations about this little event when some as yet unborn person comes across a similar situation and brings it here, just like you... Sure would have been nice to have TRF when I was 14.....