For a lot of flights, 2-56 is fine. My experience is that it has less to do with the size and weight of the rocket as much as the type of motor I am using.
At launch, when using a large, fast burning motor, the high initial G load can take even a tiny amount of slop in the nosecone/coupler fit and slam the nosecone back enough to shear smaller pins. I was having a hell of a time figuring out why I was getting early deployments of my main on an 8" diameter rocket with 3 x 4-40 shear pins in the nosecone when I used an N or O motor. I pointed a Runcam 4K camera forward and watched a couple flights. By slowing the video way down, you could see the that shear pins were already busted before the drogue ejection charge went off at apogee. The nosecone wouldn't come out at apogee, but it would slowly wiggle its way out as the payload bay flopped around in the wind during drogue descent.
After I replaced the nosecone shear pins with 6-32 pins, I have not had an issue.
Point of the story is that there are a number of factors in determining shear pins, not just size and ejection charges. If you tend not to fly very high-G flights on heavier rockets, then smaller pins should work great.