Wife sends me to the store…..

[BABAR]

So she sends me to the store to buy a mushrooms.

She says, “ Buy the Freshest!”

Then she looks at me and asked me why I have that funny look on my face.

I said, “honey, I’m about to buy mold. How can you tell if it’s fresh or not?”

 

[jqavins]

I think this goes in the other watering hole.

 

[BABAR]

Oops.

 

[kuririn]

So she sends me to the store to buy a mushrooms.

She says, “ Buy the Freshest!”

Then she looks at me and asked me why I have that funny look on my face.

I said, “honey, I’m about to buy mold. How can you tell if it’s fresh or not?”

And she replied "Cause you're such a fungi"!

 

[BABAR]

Moved to appropriate forum.

 

[BABAR]

I think this goes in the other watering hole.

Well, my dad did tell me that before they made me they broke the mold.

 

[cls]

Oh, and please pick up some fresh kimchi, and Bleu cheese, too! Skip the lutefisk though!

 

[mbeels]

A wife asked her husband (who was a computer programmer) to: "... go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen". He returns a short while later with a dozen loaves of bread.

She says: "Why did you buy a dozen loaves of bread?"

He says: "They had eggs".

 

[Azamiryou]

A wife asked her husband (who was a computer programmer) to: "... go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen". He returns a short while later with a dozen loaves of bread.

She says: "Why did you buy a dozen loaves of bread?"

He says: "They had eggs".

A real programmer would have bought 13.

 

[jqavins]

First checked out with one, then gone back for a dozen more.

 

[Pem Tech]

So she sends me to the store to buy a mushrooms.

She says, “ Buy the Freshest!”

Then she looks at me and asked me why I have that funny look on my face.

I said, “honey, I’m about to buy mold. How can you tell if it’s fresh or not?”

And you slept on the couch for the next ten days...

 

[Pem Tech]

Oh, and please pick up some fresh kimchi, and Bleu cheese, too! Skip the lutefisk though!

But it is great, with lots of butter.

*love that movie*

 

[dhurstell]

Moved to appropriate forum.

I checked up and down... didnt see a "Dad Jokes" forum

 

[kuririn]

Oh, and please pick up some fresh kimchi, and Bleu cheese, too! Skip the lutefisk though!

And skip the haggis.

 

[kuririn]

I said, “honey, I’m about to buy mold. How can you tell if it’s fresh or not?”

Go when it's sunny.
Cause when it rains, it spores.
Nyuk, nyuk.

 

[cwbullet]

And you slept on the couch for the next ten days...

BINGO

 

[kuririn]

I would be like,
"What am I? A mushroom expert?
Crimini.
That's the last straw.
You always know which buttons to push".


(Fun fact: I read a while back that a Crimini is the same as a baby Portabello).

 

[PhlAsh]

And skip the haggis.

Wife & kids were amused when, while spending a week in Leeds, we went to the Costco and they saw canned haggis

 

[jqavins]

I would be like,
"What am I? A mushroom expert?
Crimini.
That's the last straw.
You always know which buttons to push".


(Fun fact: I read a while back that a Crimini is the same as a baby Portabello).

I didn't know it's a fungus. Until now I thought it was just an exclamation.

 

[PhlAsh]

Wife & kids were amused when, while spending a week in Leeds, we went to the Costco and they saw canned haggis

 

[ThirstyBarbarian]

I didn't know it's a fungus. Until now I thought it was just an exclamation.

Crimini! That’s a baby Portabello!

 

[ThirstyBarbarian]

So she sends me to the store to buy a mushrooms.

She says, “ Buy the Freshest!”

Then she looks at me and asked me why I have that funny look on my face.

I said, “honey, I’m about to buy mold. How can you tell if it’s fresh or not?”

Just make sure there’s no fungus on the fungus.

 

[jqavins]

Art, I'm not kidding. Crimini mushroom? Never heard of it.

 

[Art Upton]

View attachment 677883
Art, I'm not kidding. Crimini mushroom? Never heard of it.

Neither have I heard of it. Your statement however is funny even if you know that
It gave me a laugh I needed , sounds like something Bob Newhart would say

 

[Art Upton]

Emilie: "Bob, go to the store and get me some Crimini "
Bob: "Crimini? What is that? You get it at a store?"

Emilie: "Bob, don't you know Crimini is a mushroom?"
Bob: "Geeze Emilie, until now I thought it was an Exclamation ?"

 

[ThirstyBarbarian]

I think the exclamation is actually “criminy”, not “crimini”. And “criminy” is a substitute for taking the Lords name in vain, as in “Jiminny Criminy! Whadaya mean buy fresh fungus?” And “crimini” comes from the Italian “crimine” which means “crime”, as in “Passing this baby mushroom off as a portabello is an absolute crimini, you mushroom fraudster!”

 

[jqavins]

That makes sense. But if it's the case then that name, "crime", could be applied to any mushroom.

 

[kjhambrick]

So is crimini plural for one criminus fungus ?

 

[KenECoyote]

My wife thinks I spend too much time reading this sh*take.

 

[Art Upton]

My wife thinks I spend too much time reading this sh*take.

Your Retired now...