Valentine’s Day Sunday

Advertise with us
the rocketry show
shop deals on amazon
The Rocketry Forum

Help Support The Rocketry Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
B

BABAR

Builds Rockets for NASA
TRF Supporter
Joined
Aug 27, 2011
Messages
11,594
Reaction score
6,215
Guys (less likely necessary for gals, but hey)

Monday is Valentine’s Day. Don’t screw it up.
 
Mrs demands that I NOT buy her flowers, cards as well, a box of good chocolates is OK, where she will sample a bite from each piece.
My worries come from next week. 15 year anniversary. I am clueless what to do for her.
 
After being married 42 years, we gave that stuff up a few years ago, so all we do usually is just hopefully be able to have enough money to go out to eat
 
Peartree said:
I asked my wife what I should get for her and she said, "I already ordered something from Land's End. So, you're good."
Click to expand...
My wife will come home with something that she wanted, and tell me, "I said to myself, Tom would be really disappointed if I didn't get this for myself..." Thing is, she's usually right! She's very careful, almost too careful, with the money - I have to tell her, "You know , it's been a long, hard struggle, and you've been really good with the money, but we actually can enjoy a few things now. Not go crazy - just relax a little, enjoy yourself and be a blessing to others..."
 
I will ask for your forgiveness ahead of time, this is my tear jerker. If you are emotional don't read it. My current bride and friend for life I met in 1973 in Germany, we married in 1976. She was one of the first 13 WACs on Baumholder in Germany, a post with about 20,000 troops. I have no idea why, out of 20,000 guys, she chose me. She was my Amazon, 6 ft 2 in and about 170. We have lived an interesting, fullfilling life, she's the love of my life (obviously). Over the last 6 years I've become her caretaker. She is in decline physically and mentally and right now is in the hospital in Lubbock, Tx. We were traveling, heading to Az when she developed an infection. We are headed to a birthday celebration with her brother, they were both born in Feb. Hopefully, we will be able to continue after a few days. I weep when I write things like this, but I am hoping it will help me cope with the issues that are to come. I am just about to the point where she will need to be in a dementia facility, I really can't manage her physically anymore, that's my fault, I thought I could manage this to the end but was wrong. BTW I'm pushing 70 so please take that into account. Sorry to load this on you guys, but with Valentines this weekend it makes me emotional. Again, my apologies, but I really don't have many folks to unload on that aren't involved in one manner or another. Appreciate you guys.
Edit: Really shouldn't have posted this, sorry.
 
Last edited:
PatD said:
I will ask for your forgiveness ahead of time, this is my tear jerker. If you are emotional don't read it. My current bride and friend for life I met in 1973 in Germany, we married in 1976. She was one of the first 13 WACs on Baumholder in Germany, a post with about 20,000 troops. I have no idea why, out of 20,000 guys, she chose me. She was my Amazon, 6 ft 2 in and about 170. We have lived an interesting, fullfilling life, she's the love of my life (obviously). Over the last 6 years I've become her caretaker. She is in decline physically and mentally and right now is in the hospital in Lubbock, Tx. We were traveling, heading to Az when she developed an infection. We are headed to a birthday celebration with her brother, they were both born in Feb. Hopefully, we will be able to continue after a few days. I weep when I write things like this, but I am hoping it will help me cope with the issues that are to come. I am just about to the point where she will need to be in a dementia facility, I really can't manage her physically anymore, that's my fault, I thought I could manage this to the end but was wrong. BTW I'm pushing 70 so please take that into account. Sorry to load this on you guys, but with Valentines this weekend it makes me emotional. Again, my apologies, but I really don't have many folks to unload on that aren't involved in one manner or another. Appreciate you guys.
Edit: Really shouldn't have posted this, sorry.
Click to expand...
My Dad had a similar situation with my Mom, although she was mentally with it, she was bed bound. He had to put her on a bedpan every 4 hours around the clock. He did this for five years and never told anyone about it, he and Mom lived far away and I was unable to visit often and wasn’t aware, but I should have been.

you are a true unsung Hero. All of us have ropes, and you have finally reached the last threads at the end of yours. God bless you, Sir, for what you have already done. There is a time where it is best not only for you but for your beloved to hand the care over to others (God willing there are people and a facility to help you! Not always the case, unfortunately.). Visit with her when you can, talk to her or read to her or just sit with her. Even if her mind is gone, both her spirit and God know you are with her.

thanks for sharing this with us.

my Mom has passed and is waiting for us in Heaven. Dad is 95 and still living independently (although he is mad at California for taking away his driver’s license! To tell the truth, I am relieved and I don’t LIVE in Ca anymore.). He started attending a grief support group after Mom died, actually I went to several meeting with him. The group met up until the Covid crisis. Far from being a “sob story” group for misfits, it was a bunch of bright, smart, nice people who had lost their partners and just got together once a week to talk about “stuff”. (Most commonly the last episode of “60 minutes.”)

i know your wife is still with you and I hope you are able to continue to share some positive time. I would encourage you to see if there are some similar support groups (maybe online during the Covid thing.). You are far from alone in your situation, even though it feels like it.

best wishes
 
PatD said:
I will ask for your forgiveness ahead of time,.
Click to expand...

No forgiveness needed. Glad we're here for you. I completely understand (at least a little) how you feel and what you've been going through. Was in the hospital myself last year due to an infection in my foot (a long running problem). And, as we get older, we see how age takes its toll on those around us. My older brother is in the early stages of dementia. It's hard to see people you love go through that sort of decline. Hang in there. Prayers for both of you.
 
PatD said:
I will ask for your forgiveness ahead of time,
Click to expand...
No apologies needed, you can gain strength from the community knowing that you are not alone, and contrary to what most would believe, there are folks in this world that care.
I watched my mother deal with dad for close to 17 years after 3 major strokes and two brain surgeries. She kept him home for as long as she could. Dad was military and felt that the troops under him were family. Once such individual became a brother to us and a godsend to mom. He moved from Louisiana to help mom care for dad. After he became too much for both of them there was no choice but to place him in a care facility. He didn’t make it easy and was moved to three different places before finally passing.
I feel your pain, and understand, as many here will tell you, you are in our prayers and thoughts.
 
PatD said:
I will ask for your forgiveness ahead of time, this is my tear jerker. If you are emotional don't read it. My current bride and friend for life I met in 1973 in Germany, we married in 1976. She was one of the first 13 WACs on Baumholder in Germany, a post with about 20,000 troops. I have no idea why, out of 20,000 guys, she chose me. She was my Amazon, 6 ft 2 in and about 170. We have lived an interesting, fullfilling life, she's the love of my life (obviously). Over the last 6 years I've become her caretaker. She is in decline physically and mentally and right now is in the hospital in Lubbock, Tx. We were traveling, heading to Az when she developed an infection. We are headed to a birthday celebration with her brother, they were both born in Feb. Hopefully, we will be able to continue after a few days. I weep when I write things like this, but I am hoping it will help me cope with the issues that are to come. I am just about to the point where she will need to be in a dementia facility, I really can't manage her physically anymore, that's my fault, I thought I could manage this to the end but was wrong. BTW I'm pushing 70 so please take that into account. Sorry to load this on you guys, but with Valentines this weekend it makes me emotional. Again, my apologies, but I really don't have many folks to unload on that aren't involved in one manner or another. Appreciate you guys.
Edit: Really shouldn't have posted this, sorry.
Click to expand...
No need to apologize for asking for help, even if that "help" is just a listening ear. It often takes everything that we have just to do the things that we have to do every day. There's an old story that says... If everyone could sit in a circle and lay all of their burdens in the center for everyone to see, most everyone would pick up what they had brought with them and feel better that everyone else's are worse. We all have our burdens. No question that yours are big ones that most of us wouldn't want but we never know what life has in store for us. My Mom took care of Dad for a couple of years as he declined but, sort of like your situation, Dad was a LOT bigger than Mom. He was easily twice her size. More than once he fell on her. We could not convince her to get help until the very end and, I am convinced, she spent much of her health caring for him and declined more quickly than she otherwise might have. I know that you want to do everything you can for your wife, but please don't be afraid to ask for help. Your health is worth something and I'm certain that the woman you married wouldn't want you to destroy yourself caring for her. Do the best you can, but don't apologize, or be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Prayers lifted for both of you.
 
@PatD, I agree with much of what has been said, and with@Peartree will pray for you both. There is no reason to be ashamed when you are 70 and cannot physically take care of her. It would be far better to leave that to the pros and then you can visit her and do your best to enjoy the time with her without the burden of the care. God bless her with healing and you for healing for your heart, because we all know the pain is real and very deep; but you're the one in it.
 
We made it through the day without ever saying happy Valentine's Day to each other (like that was going to do something for us). It's just a corporate Hallmark holiday anyway
 
Made a king cake from scratch and a couple of steaks for valentines.

Was a ton of work and cleaning, but it came out well.......
 
I gave my wife a Neon Apatite Ring, Mojave Blue Turquoise Ring and Orissa Rodalite Garnet Ring, and several less expensive Rings for Valentines Day.
I already have her Birthday Present, a Large Cluster Santa Maria Aquamarine Ring. I have several other pieces including Russian Diopside, Etheopian Welo Opal, Sleeping Beauty Turquoise, Tanzanite and several less expensive pieces to give her throughout the year. I put my last back due disability check to good use, and saved a bunch of money by winning bids on Shop LC auctions.
She has always wanted Santa Maria Aquamarine as it's her Birth Stone. She will be thrilled when she opens that box!
Shop LC sells Wholesale to everyone. Take advantage of it and make your partner for life happy!
As a for instance, the Neon Apatite Ring I won for $46, normally sold for $120 wholesale. Retail value is $1200.
Your Welcome.
BTW, it makes that next large rocket purchase go over much smoother!
 

Similar threads

K'Tesh
Valentine's Day Suggestions?
2
Replies
30
Views
876
teepot
teepot
jd2cylman
EVENT QCRC Monthly Launch Sunday!!!
Replies
10
Views
696
rfjustin
rfjustin
Marc_G
Why is Godzilla fighting Kong again?
Replies
18
Views
292
Mward
M
PSLimo
Full Scale 100 lb Bomb
2
Replies
45
Views
2K
lr64
L
jd2cylman
Well, it's been a week...
Replies
18
Views
922
OverTheTop
OverTheTop

Latest posts

Back
Top