I noticed that Hostess has introduced Twinkies in 100 calorie packs joining the other 100 cal packaged cookies and such. I love Twinkies, I could eat them all day and into the night. The golden cakes are so light and creamy that they are nearly impossible to resist. But somehow, I am able to limit my Twinkie intake to only a few a year. I am very disciplined in that part of my life; I should find a way to incorporate it into the rest of my daily activities. Now that I think about it, I may have found the secret to being perfectly disciplined; I shall call it the Twinkie Discipline Program or, TDP for short. Now that I got that out of the way I can proceed with getting rid of all these silly 100 cal packs of snack cookies and Twinkies. For crying out loud, this is junk food, something to be enjoyed without the pressure of the food police looking over my shoulder making sure I am not exceeding my fat and sugar intake for the day.
A few years ago, Hostess began making Twinkie Lite for all those diet conscience junk food eaters. How does that make any sense at all? Twinkie, the ultimate junk food was made in a lite form? You are eating so many regular Twinkies and you have been listening to the food police on how bad junk food is for you that you turn to the lite side? So now you are willing to bite into the less than perfect Twinkie that is like chewing a sponge and trying to suck out a chemical paste pumped into the center. What the
a Twinkie is like a fine cigar, it should be enjoyed in a relaxed setting. You should be firmly encased in your finest overstuffed leather chair, open the package and enjoy the sweet cake smell while peeling the cake off the cardboard platter. Add a slurpee and you are ready to tackle the worlds problems and read the Wall Street Journal. But making the lite version just made it like the snack for the fat slob who actually thinks that the lite cake will make difference in their dietary habits.
Somewhere along the way Hostess stopped making Twinkie lites but now that the 100 cal craze is fairly successful Twinkie is available in the 100 cal pack. Three small half dollar sized cakes with spot of crème filling in the middle are an insult to the true Twinkie fan. Once again we are being cheated of the Twinkie experience, thats right, there is a Twinkie experience. Being the perfect junk food there is no need to provide for the segment of people who think they are the responsible junk food eaters hiding behind the tiny 100 cal bag. This is a Twinkie, the golden standard in junk food; two perfect cakes served to you on a platter and encased in a clear case show to show the royalty of these cakes. While the three small buttons of cake make you wonder why you are even bothering to eat this crap. This is not an experience, its humiliation. I should just plop my fat ass down on the couch, turn on a soap opera and open a bucket of bonbons and see if I can stay awake long enough before the ice cream melts in my lap. Junk food should be enjoyed and experienced without guilt and without limitations. You should be able to hold you head high when buying a Twinkie, let those around you know that you will be soon experiencing one of the greatest pleasures available, available only those who have the TDP in place and know how important junk food is towards a balanced and happy life.