"Smart" things your boss has said..

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dr wogz

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I had a boss once say: "Fix it, but don't change anything" I kinda knew what he meant, but the way it came out made me stop & think for a second..

This Boss I had also was notorious for expecting things (designs, manuals, images, etc..) to be perfect the first time.. So, he's also been known to quip: "Why didn't you do it right the first time?"

I had another boss tell me to "Hurry up & wait" referring to how fast you need to do something in order for it to sit on a superior's desk..

Any other 'words of wisdom' from a boss or supervisor?
 

Zeus-cat

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My group was responsible for monitoring and approving corrective actions on products we manufactured. One day the boss chewed out the entire group, "What are you guys doing granting so many extensions on corrective actions! Don't you know the people in corporate are monitoring this? Granting extensions to anyone that asks makes it look like we don't care about fixing problems in a timely manner! Quit granting extensions!!!"

The VERY next morning we got chewed out twice as bad. "Didn't anyone look at the status of corrective actions before you left work last night!!! We had two go past due! You always grant extensions if the people can't get them done on time; especially if they've already left work and the corrective action is due today!!!"

Same boss walks into our work area and looks at Joe's empty desk and then turns to me and Tim. He is one ticked off guy. "Where's Joe! I can never find Joe! He's never at his desk. And you two. You are always at your desks! You don't solve problems sitting at your desk!!! Get out on the production floor and fix something!"

Still the same boss and another time he can't find Joe. "Has anyone see Joe! What department does Joe's woman work in; maybe she knows where he is!"
 

Gary Byrum

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In the trade show industry, our clients often used convention centers for their shows, and I was the floor plan guy scaling the booth layouts in the halls of these venues. These are usually pretty large buildings and the CAD plans for one particular venue scales the Charlotte CC at around 690' in one direction and 630' in the other. Boss man say...."I need a 1/8" scaled drawing of the Cht CC on an 8.5 ' x 11" sheet of paper.....................................:kill:

My boss man was a complete dumba**
 

MikeyDSlagle

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"Hurry up and Wait" is all too common around where I work. It is almost one of our mottoes. We had a mission to support that started at 1600, we supposed to come in at 1400 to support it. I get a text at 1230 telling me the mission got moved to 1400 and to be in at 1200, that day. 30 minutes before I get the text. I get to work at 1300. We don't leave the warehouse until 1500, an hour after we were originally supposed to come in but exactly what time we were originally supposed to roll out. Mission didn't start until 1700. I work for idiots.

Went to work one night at 1600 to support the same type of mission. Supposed to get off at midnight. The unit shows up at 2200, we start the mission at midnight and get off at 0400, only the be back to work at 1300 that day. Again, idiots.

Had one of my bosses tell me (and everyone) that a laser experiences a "cigar effect". Meaning it gets larger out to so many meters and then it starts to get smaller again. Say what?

Same boss:
We have some equipment that soldiers use that we put two tags on. Duty position and tracking number. We had some of the same type of equipment on loan from another department with two tags, a tracking number and an acronym tag. This boss told us when we exchanged this equipment downrange, remove the acronym tag from the new piece and replace it with the duty position from the faulty piece. That way they will be labeled with the correct duty position and new number. A few days later at our morning brief he looses his mind and gets on several of us for taking off the acronym tags and replacing with the duty position which is exactly what he told us to do.

This is just a small sampling. I could sell tickets for folks to come watch our operation. LOL.
 

dhbarr

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Glad that got shoehorned in there.
 

SBB_CFF_FFS

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Anyone looking for a job as press secretary, or maybe even a PR lawyer? I spend all my time dwelling here.

Oh, gotta go, guess TRF Gestapo will delete me soon.
 

SBB_CFF_FFS

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̷T̷O̷:̷ ̷d̷o̷n̷j̷r̷@̷t̷r̷u̷m̷p̷.̷o̷r̷g̷
̷F̷R̷O̷M̷:̷ ̷s̷p̷y̷@̷r̷u̷s̷s̷i̷a̷.̷r̷u̷
̷S̷U̷B̷J̷E̷C̷T̷:̷ ̷F̷w̷d̷:̷ ̷E̷-̷v̷i̷t̷e̷ ̷t̷o̷ ̷T̷r̷e̷a̷s̷o̷n̷
̷
̷H̷e̷l̷l̷o̷,̷ ̷M̷r̷.̷ ̷J̷u̷n̷i̷o̷r̷.̷ ̷A̷m̷ ̷R̷u̷s̷s̷i̷a̷n̷ ̷f̷r̷o̷m̷.̷ ̷H̷a̷v̷e̷ ̷s̷e̷r̷i̷o̷u̷s̷ ̷i̷n̷f̷o̷r̷m̷a̷t̷i̷o̷n̷
̷g̷o̷o̷d̷
 

H_Rocket

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Oh, gotta go, guess TRF Gestapo will delete me soon.
It would be much more rewarding if they would leave all your idiocy in place and let the rest of us mock you for being too freaking dumb to read a topic header and feeling the need to scream "look at me" by posting a bunch of maningless drivel.
 

CzTeacherMan

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As a teacher, I've been told to do many, many ridiculous and contrary things. I don't even know where to start
 

dhbarr

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As a teacher, I've been told to do many, many ridiculous and contrary things. I don't even know where to start
Take an action item.
Park that idea / put a pin in it.
Take this offline.
Do the needful ( kindly or otherwise ).

My bosses the last decade or so have been pretty solid, so I guess I object to softish managery euphemisms in general.
 

rstaff3

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As a former pointy-haired boss, I decline to answer as I'm sure I have said plenty of things that could make this list!
 

dhbarr

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As a former pointy-haired boss, I decline to answer as I'm sure I have said plenty of things that could make this list!
I just shaved off my PH a couple of weeks ago, no more performance evaluations yay!
 

rstaff3

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I just shaved off my PH a couple of weeks ago, no more performance evaluations yay!
Congrats! I had to do PRs for about ten years when I was fortunate enough to become more of a project manager. At that point I could turn the screws and didn't have to put up with the whining :)
 

AfterBurners

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My brother worked at Thrifty's in the warehouse and his boss wanted him to build a gate kinda like RR arm crossing that goes up and down. My brother ask my boss before he built it what it's purpose was and how it would be used... his boss replied "It serves no purpose it's just compatible with the baler" so my brother built a free standing gate like you would see entering a parking lot structure where you pay to park. His boss was happy even though it served no purpose.
 

SBB_CFF_FFS

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It would be much more rewarding if they would leave all your idiocy in place and let the rest of us mock you for being too freaking dumb to read a topic header and feeling the need to scream "look at me" by posting a bunch of maningless drivel.
If you read my post -- and still think that it was meaningless drivel then I don't know where to begin with the rest of this thread. Also, idiocy? My post was meant to be a satirical compilation of a few of the more smart, dignified, Donald Trump quotes.
 

DinoAP

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"This is aviation, we need to be rigidly flexible"
 

o1d_dude

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As a boss, I had a sign on my desk that said...

Rule #1: Don't sweat the small stuff.
Rule #2: It's all small stuff.

My staff all knew it was a joke as I was pretty dedicated to the job but my Section Chief didn't particularly care for it. They clued him in...I worked mostly six days a week and rarely left the office before 7pm. Ivory tower types rarely notice things like that.
 

Woody's Workshop

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I've had many bosses' over the years.
None, has ever said anything intelligent to me. Smart(a$$) remarks yes.
But...That is what a Boss is paid for.
Tell you to do something you already know, only better and faster when he tells you.
 
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