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DavRedf

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It occured to me whilst watching the news that there are a lot of funny, odd, and weird sayings. This was bought on by the newsreader saying "the death rate has gone up" now as far as I am aware it is still one person one death, anybody heard different?
Then there is the classic " I told Wilbur and I told Orville that thing will never get off the ground".
Or (whilst abroard) I am alone in a country of foreigners.
What is your favorite saying?

David
 

sandman

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Usually most of everything Dr. Phil says make me laugh.

One of my favorites I heard from an old guy back in the sixties and I'll never forget it...It still makes me scratch my head and say...HUH!!???

His quote, "Well, it's six and a half dozen of the other."

HUH!!!??

That's the cleanest one I know of.

sandman
 

DavRedf

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Hi Sandman
I won a private bet that you would have a good one (raises a glass of orange to Sandman,I dont drink)
Could the saying possibly be six of one and half a dozen of the other?
How about "anything that costs nothing is worth as much"?

David
 

cydermaster

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Can't take credit for this one; it was Paul Merton who brought this to my attention, during an edition of Have I Got News For You.

"Cheap at half the price!" - of course its cheap if its half the price; *anything* is cheap at half the price. :confused:

Surely the saying should be changed to "Cheap at twice the price!" :D
 

SwingWing

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You must have been working too many "long hours" (mine are all 60 minutes) and making the "Big Bucks" (my bank only takes the regular sized ones).
I always liked "it's 6 dozen of one and 1/2 of another".
 

sandman

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Could the saying possibly be six of one and half a dozen of the other?
Well, when the old guy said it...it was so funny and such a malapropism...I could never forget it!

sandman
 

wwattles

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My personal favorite (and the code by which I live):

"There's more than one way to skin a cat. Personally I've found several."

And one I heard back in high school that has stuck with me all these years:
"Death is an acquired taste. You have to try it a few times before you get used to it."

WW:D
 

jflis

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one of my fav was from an old professor...

"don't mess with me, boy! You'd just as soon pour hot sauce on a wildcats *** with a hot poker"

such vivid imagery.... :D

"can't have your cake and eat it too"... seems that if I *have* it, I can most *certainly* eat it...

"how much you want for that?" ans: "a buck, two eighty three"...

one of my fav from work: "Don't comment code. If it was tough to write, it should be tough to read" :)

And, finally (FINALLY!), although not a "saying", more of a statement that I had hanging on my wall at work when I worked in the support group:

"At no time, while I am working on your problem,
will your problem become my problem.

Because, if your problem becomes MY problem,
then that means that YOU don't have a problem anymore.

And, I can't help you if you don't have a problem."
 

rbeckey

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I puzzled over the "have your cake and eat it too" for a long time on midnight shifts. Finally it occured to me that if you eat your cake, it would be GONE, so you really wouldn't have it anymore. So, you really can't eat it and still have it afterwards.
It really is disturbing what goes through your mind in the small hours right before sunrise. ;)
 

Chilly

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Hmm...all the good ones I can think of came from work:

A lack of organization on YOUR part does not constitute an emergency on MY part.

or the "Six P's":

Prior Planning Prevents P--s Poor Performance

Take your pick!
 

DavRedf

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I was right there are a lot of good ones out there. Jim how about
In God we trust, everyone else CASH.
 

sandman

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In God we trust, everyone else CASH.
That was the title of Gene Shepard's book. That was later turned into the move " A Christmas Story".

That book is a fantastic "bathroom reader" It's full of short stories all about 2 pages long.

My all time favorite Christmas movies.

"You'll shoot yer eye out!"

LOL! Yea...my daughter bought me a Red Ryder BB gun this Christmas!:D
:kill:
sandman
 

bmhiii

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George Lindsey (Goober on Andy Griffith) playing a character in a M.A.S.H. episode said: "Well tie my face to side of a hog and roll him in the mud". Still haven't figured that one out.

The other one I heard was in response to "How are you doing?": "If I was doing any better, you'd have to clone me and shoot one of us." This one I don't understand either...

bmhiii
 

DavRedf

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Marine to future son in law

Son before you take my daughter out rember i've got 12 acres out back, a shotgun and a shovel.

How come women marry us men, spend the next 10 years trying to change us, and then complain that we are not the men they married.

One bird to another as a rocket goes by, Boy he was shifting. The other one answered, yes so would you if your a***was on fire.

From my father. Never run after a bus or a woman, theres always another one coming.

It seems to me that the only reason that women marry us it that they cant stand seing us happy.

If there are any ladies present no offence intended as for women in these jokes you can read men

David
 

Zippy

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No matter where you go, there you are.
 

wyldbill

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"That's slicker than snot on a doorknob"

and I'll stop there.....
 

DavRedf

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The longest journey starts with the first step.
 

Chilly

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' "That's slicker than snot on a doorknob"

and I'll stop there.....'


Good idea. Otherwise you'd be about as popular as a turd in a punchbowl.:D
 

gothique_97

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George Carlin has made a career about pointing out phrases that we use everyday without thinking of the absurdity of what we're actually saying [even if he uses some colorful language along the way]. One of my favourites is "Tell us in your own words". I don't have my own words; I've been using the same ones everyone else uses. Next time they tell you to use your own words, say to them "nip bliggut flarney quando floooooooo"

Someone earlier mentioned cake, how about the phrase , "He takes the cake" Well, where does he take the cake? To the movies?

If we have the word 'far-fetched', why don't we have 'near-fetched'?
 

rbeckey

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How about:
"You're lower than whale s**t."
"Dumber than wood."
"Older than dirt"
"Not the sharpest tool in the shed."
"If I had a dog as ugly as you I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards."
"Happy as a pig in mud."
 

slim_t

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Probably the best I've ever heard came from my Great-Grandmother when she was about eighty something years old.
She was telling a story about seeing something that shocked her although I can't say what. She said, "when I saw that, I liked to fell through my butt and hung myself."

That was about 10 years ago and she has since passed, but I'll never forget that story.

Tim
 

rbeckey

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Tim,
That reminds me of one from the Outlaw Josey Wales. "Don't p*ss down my back and tell me its raining."
 

Ryan S.

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Has anyone here ever seen the movie "Boondock Saints" the bartender (who also happens to have Terrets and a stutter) is always trying to say these philosophical sayings like some mentioned here. The funny thing he always screws them up.

"People in glass houses........s..s..sink ships"

soome good ones:


"people in glass houses shouldnt throw stones"

"loose lips sink ships"

"not the brightest bulb on the string"

"lower than a snakes belly in a ditch"


hmm cant think of any more
 

Ryan S.

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I thought of a great one!

"Sharp as a marble"

(usually said with the words "your about as" proceeding it"
 

billeblurzz

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"......you can't get there from here!" Yogi Bera, when asked about a certain restaurant,".....oh, no one hardly goes there anymore......it's too crowded!!!!":confused:
 

n3tjm

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"It's like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest."

"I pretend to work, and they pretend to pay"

"Working hard? Or hardley Working?"

"Who let the Doug out?"
 
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