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BAR_Daddy

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I have just returned from what has to be the most difficult thing that I have done to date. Burying my mother. She passed away from cancer last week and the funeral was Monday.

What a whirlwind month this has been. We just found out she had cancer in early June. It was very aggressive and in an advanced stage then (lungs, brain and liver). She went quickly and did not suffer, thank God.

My father is a Vietnam veteran and he decided to bury her in Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery, where he wants to be buried. He has prostate cancer, but is responding well to treatment and is expected to beat it, this time. Hopefully, he will not join her for many more years.

We never know how much time we have, so my advice to all is to stay close to your relatives and visit them often, tell them how much you love them. Otherwise you could wind up with a lot of regret, when it is too late to do anything about it.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
 

Donaldsrockets

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I know just how you feel.

I lost my father last October to Esophageal Cancer. They had given him up to a year to live depending on how well the treatment, chemotherapy and radiation worked.

Unfortunately he only made it 4 months before he passed away and even nearly 9 months later, at times it's still hard to believe he's gone.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this trying time.:)
 

WillMarchant

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Very sorry to hear that! I appreciate how difficult it is to deal with that loss.
Best wishes,
Will
 

Pem Tech

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Sorry for your grief......
Losing a parent takes a huge chunk out of your life.

And that is good advice about loved ones.

Hang in there, it will get better.
 

shrox

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One day you'll remember mostly the good about her, and her end will be a bookend to a life well lived.
I had always thought losing my mother would be the absolute worst, but being married at the time made the blow softer. My mother died of cancer about 5 years ago. We were present when she died at my sister's house with a kitty on her lap. She was cremated at her request. I launched some of her ashes over the ocean in a special quick bio-degrading rocket I built.

Maybe you could do the same with a rocket. Put her name on it, go somewhere remote, and let it go with no parachute, then don't go look for it.
 

PemTech's Squeeze

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Sorry to hear of your loss.

Maybe you could do the same with a rocket. Put her name on it, go somewhere remote, and let it go with no parachute, then don't go look for it.
Wow. That's actually a rather neat idea. God-forbid, I can see doing that with Layne and a Bucky. :(
-Trudy
 

sj_h1

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I feel for you and I pray for you. I lost my mother on thanksgiving day, she had cancer but managed to survive 20 years after she was 1st told she had at most 18 months. Unfortunately for her, her last days were pretty painful. Now my father is failing fast. He has Dementia, Alzheimer, and blind in one eye. So I think I can understand where you are. Don't hold back, just take one day at a time. It doesn't fix the problem but it does hurt a little less. :2:
 

jflis

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It is never easy to accept the loss. I lost my mom not long ago and I notice that I feel it the most when I stumble across one of her emails to me...

My prayers are with you.

jim
 

mjennings

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My thoughts and prayers are with your family as well.

We just buried my Grandma at JB in April.
 

cwbullet

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My prayers are with you and I hope they will help you through this most difficult time.
 

AKPilot

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Am sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you and your family are able to find comfort during these difficult times.

Btw, are you local to St. Louis or were just in for the funeral?
 

kelltym88

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Oh man, I feel your pain. My mom was diagnosed with Leukemia on a Friday and died the next Monday. Yeah, that was tough. It will be 10 years already this August. She was always wanting us to have another child, and one month after she died, my wife got pregnant. Sorry for your loss, I can truly say I know how you feel.
 

BAR_Daddy

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Thanks for the kind words from all of you. They mean a great deal to me.
My sincere condolences to all who have lost a loved one.

shrox - Mine was not a rocket but a cedar arrow fired from the bow that I made in wood shop some 30 years ago. The area I went to was a favorite place for me to campout as a youth.

AKPilot - I grew up in O'Fallon and graduated from Ft Zumwalt. My father still lives in O'Fallon as does my youngest brother. My sister lives near Wentzville. However, I have lived in Kansas for the last 27 years. Kansas is where I met and married my wife of 26 years. In fact, the land that we live on has been in the family (hers) for three generations. That means that my kids are the fourth generation to live there. Kinda cool when you stop and think about it.
 

Zack Lau

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Dealing with loss is the toughest part of life. I find that keeping busy helps a little, but everyone has different ways of healing--do what works best for you.

For my little contest rockets, a C engine and a parachute insures that I never see it again.
 

shrox

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...Mine was not a rocket but a cedar arrow fired from the bow that I made in wood shop some 30 years ago. The area I went to was a favorite place for me to campout as a youth...
I see you have already thought about how to honor your mother.
 

Grif Ingram

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I lost my mother a little over a year ago now. My next door neighbour was a great help, and it's been good to be able to help him with the death of his sister last month. Grief is the price we pay for love, and it's a price well worth paying. Since my mother taught me to read (at a time when "trendy" teaching methods were failing me, I regard every book I read, every calculation or drawing I make, and the degree on my wall, as a monument to her; there'll be something similar for you.
Grif
 

Peartree

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I am truly sorry for your loss.

If I have any advice to offer at all it is this, don't let anyone tell you how long you are allowed to grieve. It takes what it takes, whether that is two, three or five years (or maybe more). People who say things like "It's been a year (or whatever) you should get over it," are ignorant and don't know what they are talking about.

Ignore them.

"Normal" will come in its own time.
 
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