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boatgeek

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One of my favorite engineer jokes:
One engineer is admiring the other's new motorcycle.
"Where did you get this beauty?"
"It was the weirdest thing. Yesterday, this gorgeous woman rode up on this bike, got off right in front of me, took off all of her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"
...
"Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
 

Winston

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One of my favorite engineer jokes:
One engineer is admiring the other's new motorcycle.
"Where did you get this beauty?"
"It was the weirdest thing. Yesterday, this gorgeous woman rode up on this bike, got off right in front of me, took off all of her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want!'"
...
"Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
An old one heard on The Big Bang Theory:

A physicist walks into a bar, orders a beer, turns to the stool next to him and offers it a beer. He finishes his drink and leaves. The next day he returns to the bar, orders a beer, and offers a beer to the stool next to him before finishing his drink and leaving. This continues for a week before the bartender finally asks, "Why in the world do you keep offering that stool a beer?" The physicist replies, "The laws of physics dictate that there is a slight possibility that at some point the matter above this stool could reform into a beautiful woman, who would then accept the drink." The bartender is puzzled for a second before replying, "The bar is full of beautiful women. Why not see if they will accept your drink?" The physicist laughs before saying, " Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?"
 

Winston

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If this thread moves into typing out jokes, I'll be sorely tempted to give a couple of my favorite engineer jokes, one of which is not altogether family friendly. So lets stick to pictures.
Oh, I've got a literal ROTFL comic to show, one of the funniest I've ever seen, but can't for that reason. So, it's a matter of restraint in both text and image cases. However, considering the title of this forum, I agree with you and thank you for your unsolicited policing of the topic.
 

RocketGeekInFL

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Oh, I've got a literal ROTFL comic to show, one of the funniest I've ever seen, but can't for that reason. So, it's a matter of restraint in both text and image cases. However, considering the title of this forum, I agree with you and thank you for your unsolicited policing of the topic.
Maybe we should have an NSFW thread added to the forum where we can be free to be the childish adults that most of us are.
 

jqavins

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Three elderly ladies sat side by side on their deckchairs on the beach. A young man walked past. He was tall, tanned, with a six pack and had a sizeable bulge in his trunks. The old ladies, as expected, found him very sexy and got quite exited.

Two of the old ladies had a stroke. The third one couldn’t reach.
Alright, I give in. Old lady jokes is it?

Those same three old ladies took a bottle of gin to a baseball game. In the bottom of the fifth, the bags were loaded.
 
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