polite way of saying: "He's slow.."

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dr wogz

Fly caster
Feb 5, 2009
Reaction score
Land of Poutine!
Once again, our 'lunchroom conversation' got onto how some people manage, but obviously don't have a clue. Otherwise showing a lack of understanding, and smarts...

And we started to throw around those cute expressions that express jsut that, that some people "Have the motor running, but no-one behind teh wheel"

Anyone else have any?

"A couple of beer short of a 6-pack"

"A few sandwiches short of a pic-nic"

"Not playign with a full deck"

"The (their) hamster is dead" (nothing to 'run teh wheel')

"Has teh gears, but forgets the clutch"

"A couple of chapters short of a novel"
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

And, a few that aren't quite so polite... :)

Dumb as a post

Dumb as a box of rocks

Dumb as a bag of hammers
Elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
Half a bubble off center.
The lights are on but nobody is home.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.

He doesn't have two brain cells to rub together.
not the sharpest pencil in the box

one brick short of a full load

elevator doesn't go to the top

if you put his brain in a bird it would fly backwards

if you put his brain on the edge of a razor blade it would look like a BB rolling down a four lane highway
His stick isn't hitting oil

He has a full six pack, just missing the plastic rings to hold it together
"Not the brightest bean in the biscuit tin..."

Dont ask... a mate says it all the time :rolleyes:

I once had an old man tell me, " Well, it's six and a half dozen of the other."

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

He can't find his a** with either hand.

He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.

He is rowing with only one oar.
Originally posted by sramberg
He can't find his a** with either hand.

The way I heard *that* one, from my grandpa, Elmer:

"He couldn't find his a** with a fist full of fish hooks"

man, what a visual! LOL

Another I learned from gramps:

"Your brains are so small that if you rolled it along the edge of a razor blade it would look like a BB rolling down the center of a 6 lane super highway"

"Nail your other foot to the ground boy! You're going 'round in circles!"
*To much chlorine in his gene pool*
*If he was any dumber, they would have to water him 2 times a week*

(theres a wierd al song with all these different "nice" ways to say your dumb)
Not the swiftest current in the stream.
Not the brightest bulb on the billboard.
If brains were dynomite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
If brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enough to power a piss-ant's moped around the inside of a Cheerio.
When he fell out of the "Dumb Tree", he hit every branch on the way down. (can also describe an ugly person by changing to "Ugly Tree")
He's about a pitch and a hit short of a homerun. <=not my favorite, but works.

Can't tell a hole from his a$$ in the ground.

Makes as much sense as a football bat.

A take off on something Niels Bohr once said: "That can't be right. That's so stupid it can't even be wrong.'
"A few cylinders shy of a V8"

"Couldn't tell his @$$ from a hole in the ground"
He could break an anvil.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Dumb as a box of rocks.