Not coming in to work excuses

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When I was in fifth grade, I actually used the excuse "my dog ate my homework".
BUT........it was in fact true!
The assignment was to make a "diorama" (remember those?) of a pilgrim village.
And yes, my dog actually chewed on it overnight....pretty much wrecked it.
I did bring in the remains to show that I was telling the truth.

I don't remember if and what grade I got for it.

s6
 
My boss used to use the excuse that he came down with a serious case of "fishing pox" and had to miss work.

I occasionally called into work "well". "Don't you mean 'sick'?", they would ask. "Nope, feeling too good to come in to work today". Didn't do that very often, so they let it slide.
 
I don't have to make an excuse anymore. I retired last winter.
I almost never called in to work, until I tore my rotator cuff, then my triceps muscle a few weeks later. Then I was off for four months. I don't suggest that as a way to get off work. PT for the elbow surgery was just awful. It made the PT for the rotator cuff surgery seem like pure joy. I found out that you can be in so much pain you laugh. Ha, ha, I can't believe how much this hurts!
 
Not fun !! Even if it made you laugh .. guessing laughs so much the tears rolled..
I do hope to retire soon, before the stress gets me first lol!
 
I was exposed to COVID and have to self quarantine until the test comes back. 48 to 72 hours.
Wife just went through this!
The Mail Lady came to the door and wanted to know if we would empty our box.
When we explained, she brought our box contents to the door for us.
Rural America...Wouldn't live in a big city for nothing!!!
 
Back when I was a teenager the lady that lived next door was an office manager. One day she knocks on the door and asks if I would help her out vetting an employee's excuse on not coming to work. Sure, I think, no big deal.....so I call the number and it's Doctor Par Tee......leave a message and I'll call you back. So, we go through the whole thing to find out it's an answering machine service to a FAKE doctor's office, and that they even provided fake paperwork for $20!

Turn out she had about half a dozen employees that had Monday morning hangover sickness.....and all had excuses from Dr. Par Tee.....and then got pink slips!
 
My boss used to use the excuse that he came down with a serious case of "fishing pox" and had to miss work.

I occasionally called into work "well". "Don't you mean 'sick'?", they would ask. "Nope, feeling too good to come in to work today". Didn't do that very often, so they let it slide.
We would refer to that as a "mental health day."
 
I don't have to make an excuse anymore. I retired last winter.
I almost never called in to work, until I tore my rotator cuff, then my triceps muscle a few weeks later. Then I was off for four months. I don't suggest that as a way to get off work. PT for the elbow surgery was just awful. It made the PT for the rotator cuff surgery seem like pure joy. I found out that you can be in so much pain you laugh. Ha, ha, I can't believe how much this hurts!
I can't say it feels the same, but a ruptured bicep taint no laughing matter. Rarely do I use pain meds. I needed them for that....and still felt the pain. (I've also gone down the torn rotator cuff hole. Lost more than 40% use of the left arm. Company paid out 10K for that one. I would pay 100 times that back to have full use and a pain free day of the left shoulder. )
 
A friend told me he fired a guy after his mother died three tines in a year
Yeah, who *doesn't* have three mothers? Only two of mine have passed, kinda lost track of the third. I used to tease my first set of step-sibs, saying that if they weren't nicer to me, I always had other brothers and sisters that *did* love me. I don't think they knew I was serious...
 
I have some friends over ATM. One used to be an ER doctor locally. I once wrote him a medical certificate that said, 'Claude can't come to work today, he has to dance.' I signed it Lord Krishna. He got paid for the day.
 
not really an excuse but the truth:
i worked in a machine shop for 6 years. we got swamped with new orders so i had to pull graveyard shift for about 6 months- 6pm-6am mon-fri then 6pm to midnight saturday.
late june i was itchin to be fishin, and loved evening/night fishin.
called the plant manager:
"i feel too good to come in tonight and the fish will be bitin."
plant manager went out fishin with me "just to make sure youre feelin too good."
his wife,who was the do it all secretary for the shop,was not happy but impressed with my honesty.
 
A guy I worked with several years ago one time said he was taking a vacation day because of
"vision problems -- I just can't see myself coming in to work tomorrow"

Its called Anal Glaucoma, I can't see hauling my a** into work today.
 
Back in college, I had a job as a bartender at an Olive Garden. One of my friends was in grad school at IU, and I went down to visit. He had tickets to an IU / Michigan basketball game the next night, but I was supposed to be at work. I declined and went home to be at work on time. That evening we had the game on at the bar and I mentioned to my manager I could have been there. He said, "you should have called off, you know Sunday nights are slow and I could have handled the bar."
 
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