need advice on girls

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rocketsonly

Well-Known Member
Hello.

Okay, so my school's homecoming is coming up, and I don't have a date. In fact, I've never had a date or a girlfriend, ever. I'm also really scared of girls, maybe it's a *nerd/geek* thing?

So the other guys on my TARC team, Marvin, who apparently is a babe magnet, and Robby, are currently urging me to find a date, saying it'll be a good experience.

There's this girl I plan on asking, but I've never talked to her since last year because we arn't enrolled in any classes together this year. I did however get to do some projects with her in the classes. The times working with her were fine, and she seems pretty cool, but I'm not sure if it was me, or the grade she was going to get.

Any suggestions? Any tips on how to bring up such a conversation?

Thanks.

PS: since my school is relatively small compared to others (we have about 400 kids grades 9-12, others have around 1300 grades 11-12), people don't go to homecoming just because they are boyfriends or girlfriends

PPS: if she does say yes, that means I'll have to buy dinner for her at this steak house my friends will be going to before the dance. Is the $40 bill (if each of us gets a steak) worth it? It's really funny because I would spend$40 on rockets any day of the year.

gerbs4me

Well-Known Member
I'm not much help here, it doesn't hurt to ask. Ask her if she says no, ask your babe magnet friend to hook you up.

sandman

Well-Known Member
Don't look at me!

KermieD

Well-Known Member
Hehe...wrong forum for this type of question. Never ask a bunch of rocket geeks for babe advice.

not a lib

Well-Known Member
Don't be scared! The girles get scared also!! Go for it! If she says no...well at least you asked & won't be kicking yourself that you did not! And if she says no; it's her loss! There are other girles!
If she says yes, & you do go, don't just talke about rockets or she will think that all there is! (of course she might get into it-That would be real cool!)

TonyF

Well-Known Member
Go for it dude!!!!

Many moons ago, I was in the same position... I do mean many mooons!!

I never did ask in high school, regretted it years later... But made up for it big-time in college . Even had the oppurtunity to escort the Homecoming queen in college. But I convinced my buddy,who had a crush on her, to stand in for me(I made up some lame excuse at the time;-)... ). They've been married ever since...hehe.

Hey, come to think of it... I COULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO THE HOMECOMING QUEEN!!!

Another opportunity missed.... LOL!!!

TonyF

Ray Dunakin

Well-Known Member
Originally posted by rocketsonly
Okay, so my school's homecoming is coming up, and I don't have a date. In fact, I've never had a date or a girlfriend, ever. I'm also really scared of girls, maybe it's a *nerd/geek* thing?

So the other guys on my TARC team, Marvin, who apparently is a babe magnet, and Robby, are currently urging me to find a date, saying it'll be a good experience.
I was in the same boat in high school, except I didn't have any friends to encourage me or set me up. So you've got a lot more going for you than I did. Listen to your buddies, they know what they're talking about!

There's this girl I plan on asking, but I've never talked to her since last year because we arn't enrolled in any classes together this year. I did however get to do some projects with her in the classes. The times working with her were fine, and she seems pretty cool, but I'm not sure if it was me, or the grade she was going to get.

Any suggestions? Any tips on how to bring up such a conversation?
First off, face your fears and act! That's the only way to ever beat it. It may be tough but it gets easier the more you do it.

If she (or any other girl) turns you down, don't take it personally.

One way you could start the conversation is to say something like, "Hey, I've been thinking about you lately. I really enjoyed the time we spent working together on those projects last year. Would you like to go to homecoming with me?"

Run that by your buddies, see what they think or if they have a better suggestion.

wwattles

Well-Known Member
I'll throw my hat in with the "Go for it" crowd.

You'll be surprised at how many women (and I mean the ones who are worth asking) like it when a man shows some initiative, gets over the fear, and asks them out.

WW

cls

Well-Known Member
dude, go for it! you have nothing to lose and the world to gain.

Daedalus

Well-Known Member
Originally posted by cls
and, sounds crazy and may not be your #1 choice thing, but if you want to be a hit with the girls, learn to dance. you don't actually have to know how to dance, just get over any fear of doing it in front of other people. maybe you (and she?) could take a few weeks of dance lessons at the local community center.
I went to modern jive classes and met my partner there - dancing is a good way to meet people and girls love a man who can dance. You also get a lot of good comments from other people like "Wow - thats great, I didn't know you danced" - I am a really bad dancer but it still seems to impress people.

Dbarrm

Well-Known Member
If she was a friend last year then as her as a friend to go. Make sure she knows its as friends and that you want to go but not alone. This will be a good practice for when you do it for feeling. Hell you two might really hit it off and she may want to see your rocket. Just kidding. Just be yourself and dont worry if she says no. Everyone gets shot down, not just you. Hell if I had a dollar for every time I got a no I would of had enough to pay for the X prize.

Dan

Planet Andy

Well-Known Member
See it as a challenge or a test and parallel it with situational challenges with which you are familiar...building a challenging rocket...taking a difficult test at school. you don't know how it's gonna go until you do your research, gather the data and give it a shot, sometimes you succeed sometimes you don't but you don't know until you try. Visualise the potential outcomes including the worst case scenarios. Not so bad ...of course it could be a little rough for a while. Now how about the best case scenarios...Great! The good news is generally speaking in many areas of life you get as many trys as you need until you succeed. So I'm with the go for it and good luck camp. or to quote the great philosopher Tai Webb from Caddyshack:

...."be the ball"

(planet) andy

rocketkid88

Well-Known Member
it seems like we have allot of *older* ppl responding here... lets put it this way, i'm in highschool and have never asked some1 out either
course, since i'm homeschooled its a little different matter. This summer, tho, i was at a 'camp' were there were 13 girls and 100+ guys. man, on the final night when we had a dance if you had a girl you were like soo lucky. I didn't ask any1, i was too afraid
Of course, i didn't think i had much of a chance... i only knew 1 girl there (a hottie) and *a lot* of ppl asked her out, so i didn't bother.
now i sortof regret it, so ASK! it can't hurt... in the long run anyway.

now is it worth $40? leme jsut say this, while i can easily fork up 40$ for some AP now an then, there is NO WAY i would dump that kinda money into a gurl.... but, if you want to, go ahead...

rocketkid88

Well-Known Member
oh, and another thing... think of some things (besides rockets!) to talk about b4 hand...

I'm terible at holding a conversation, and this girl i knew since i was like 3yrs old but then didn't see for like 2 years... well, when we moved back into the same area the first time i was hanging out with her and another girl that i'd also known 4 a long time, without realizing it after a while i was getting pied b/c they were just gosiping about this person likes so and so and dija kno... any way i was like don't u talk aobut anything else?? and they were like, well what should we talk about... course i said rockets (couldn't think of anything else). i havn't really talked to her much in the past 3 years since then

illini

Well-Known Member
Originally posted by rocketkid88
i was at a 'camp' were there were 13 girls and 100+ guys.
If you are a technically inclined geek as I am, then get used to those odds. My undergraduate aeronautical engineering class was 120 students, maybe 10 of which were of the female variety. It was truly pathetic to watch all of my male colleagues literally drooling on themselves over the prospects of wooing one of these women. Now let me be clear...these women weren't exactly what I'd call desirable. But they were the entire female social circle of most of my classmates. The guys made fools of themselves. The girls thought they were hot stuff (in truth, they were barely lukewarm...). Me? I stayed away from that scene and opted to expand my social circles by other means. A good friend of mine - known for his dogged persistence (it would have to be "dogged" given the options) - wound up dating many of our female classmates. They chewed him up and spit him out. Moral of the story? I have none.

Rick James

Well-Known Member
To reaffirm what has been said... a year from now... the regret for doing nothing will be many times worse than any embarassment you may feel for trying... go for it

I am one of the "older" people here and though I am very happy about my life and how it turned out... I still have wistful thoughts for what might have been.

...and from someone who has a daughter not much older than you... trust me, they just want to have a little fun... they want to be asked and they want to dance and laugh and just be with someone that can have fun, too. And by the way, my daughter ended up marrying a rocket geek (yeah, for me!)

rocketsonly

Well-Known Member
Wow guys! Thanks for all the advice, it certainly helped to urge me on. And believe it or not, I actually asked her...

Well, the answer was 'no', but she said it in a nice manner, I think. The whole thing was pretty short, but it went along the lines of this:

Robby and I are talking in the computer lab during Bagel Break (it's just a break, but different grade levels sell bagels for fundraising), and he starts giving me odd looks. I read his message, and look around the room for Grace (the girl). I find her, and he urges me on to walk over. So I do, and I ask Grace:

"Hey Grace, do you have a date to homecoming?"
"No."
"Would you like to go with me?"
"Umm, I'm not going to homecoming, sorry"
"Okay, that's fine"

And that was it. It wasn't too bad to be rejected, but maybe she was telling the truth (doubt it)?

Well, Robby and Marvin said they would try and find a girl for me, maybe a blind date would be easier?

Thanks again you all for all the support!

hokkyokusei

Well-Known Member
Seems like most people are encouraging you to ask the girl to the homecoming (not actually sure what that is? like a big party?), but just to put the alternative view from across the pond...

Do what _you_want to do. If you don't want to go this route because you don't feel ready, then don't. There's no rush. At the age you're talking about, none of my sons would be wanting to go _anywhere_ with a girl. At that age girls had "bugs" (you may know these as "cooties"), and were to be avoided.

However, it may be that you _do_ want to take the girl, but you're just scared, you think you'll say the wrong thing, make a fool of yourself or somthing. Well, just remember the words of Wayne Campbell:

"I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be."

OK, that may be taking it to extremes, but I think the point is don't worry about being embarassed, or how to act. Be yourself and if she like you she likes _you_. If she doesn't, you have plenty of time.

That's probably no help at all, my kids always say I'm no help at all:
Son:"Dad this girl at school keeps punching me"
Me:"On the arm, or in the face?"
Son:"Why does that matter?"
Me:"If she punches you in the arm, it means she likes you, and she wants to marry you"
Son:"What if she punches me in the face?"
Me:"Then you're probably already married"
Son:"You're no help at all..."

hokkyokusei

Well-Known Member
Ah, too late anyway. I need to referesh my browser window more often.

powderburner

Well-Known Member
Don't let one refusal steer your whole experience.

If I could go back and do it over, I would have asked more girls to more events. The events don't all have to be fancy or expensive, it might just be going for pizza or burgers. The girls don't all have to be 'the love of your life' and in a way it's better if they aren't. If they are the subject of your infatuation, you get all cranked up inside and you think your life is a total disaster if they turn you down. In reality, that kind of girl will be just another distant memory in a few years.

You would be surprised to find how gorgeous some of the 'plain' girls look when they fix themselves up for a date. And you would be surprised to learn how easy it is for *you* to relax and talk to them when they are a little more 'average' girls. You could talk about who they would vote for (if they could) and why. That one subject alone can lead to talk about what kind of life themes they are passionate about (or if they just want to buy an outfit like Brittany Spears' last one). You can ask about her hobbies, about any sports she likes to play (bowling, softball, soccer, etc), what kind of music she likes, what kind of college degree she thinks she wants, where she went on vacation this past summer . . . think a little and you will come up with plenty of questions. These are exactly the kinds of discussions that will tell you if you want to chase a little harder.

The key to all this is to pay attention and listen. Don't just ask a question and tune her out while she talks and think 'whew, I get to rest for 30 seconds!' Look at it this way: when your date is over, if you were to write down what you learned about her, what would you make note of?

This sounds dumb but can really be extremely handy later. If you continue dating her, ask some follow-up questions. Show some interest in what she thinks, and show that you care enough to remember her pet's name or her favorite kind of burger.

They'll be calling you Romeo in no time.

WiK

I think your son would know if he was married

Mike

Well-Known Member
Too bad she said no, but you didn't lose anything

My problem is I get to be friends with lots of the girls I like...then I don't want to risk that by trying anything else.

Pippen

Well-Known Member
Good for you for asking!

I once had a very resourceful geeky type science student who came up with a creative solution for a date. The science club held a computer match dance every year for a fund raiser. The kids all filled out surveys about their interests and personalities and those were input into a computer which would spit out a list of matches. I'd had this particular student for both chemistry and physics so I knew him well and one day he showed up in my classroom asking a favor. This kid had done his homework and discovered that the printer in my room was the one that would be used to print out the matches. He had his own ideas of who should be on that list so he asked if I would type it up for him and print it off. I couldn't help but be impressed by his creativity and did it for him.

Alas, after all of our trouble he didn't get the girl.