looking for some entertaining quotes

[jflis]

Not drunk is he, who from the floor,
can rise again and still drink more.

But drunk is he, who prosper lies,
without the power to drink or rise.

(my sister Bev while in college. The english teacher did not appreciate it )

 

[sramberg]

Statistics are like loose women ... you can do anything you want with them. (unknown).

 

[jrogers]

Moe (reading from a childrens book) : Oh see the deer, does the deer have a little doe?

Larry: Ya 2 bucks!!!



Joel
77267
9848
L3

 

[illini]

nyuk nyuk nyuk!!!

 

[sandman]

W.C. Fields:

"A woman is like an elephant...nice to look at but you wouldn't want to own one."

sandman

 

[Bowhunter]

Save a log home,,,,Eat a Beaver

 

[cydermaster]

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

 

[jflis]

"Jumping off the top of a tall building won't kill you...

...It's the sudden stop at the end that does it."



"If at first you don't succeed, quick fix the blame!"

A short poem from the B.C. comic strip...

When Hydrogen U. played Oxygen Tech,
the game had just begun.
When Oxygen scored a single goal,
and Hydrogen still had none.

Then Hydrogen racked up 2 quick points,
and thus it did remain.
At Hydrogen 2, Oxygen 1,
called because of rain.

======================
Another from B.C. (Jonny Hart was a hoot): From Wiley's dictionary:

Buffalo: n. See Bison

Bison: n. Second largest city in New York State.

==================================

LOL

 

[brianc]

Read this one in the paper yesterday--

"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." —Ronald Regan

 

[Bill]

Originally posted by Bowhunter
Save a log home,,,,Eat a Beaver

And for the best line ever taken out of context:

"Now Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?" - June Cleaver



Bill

 

[saxophone]

"There are three types of people in this world. Those who can count, and
those who can't."

"All your base are belong to us."

"If you outlaw marriage, then only outlaws will have in-laws."

 

[jflis]

My all time favorite...

"5"

"4"

"3"

"2"

"1"

"LIFTOFF!"

"aw crap!"

 

[Hospital_Rocket]

What would be a quotes thead be without Groucho?

"Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend..."

 

[Hospital_Rocket]

"...and inside a dog it's too dark to read."

 

[Ray Dunakin]

Here are some quotes:

"May your forehead grow like the mighty oak."
-- Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Movie

"Camaro: The official car of Peaked In High School."
-- Mike Nelson, MST3K, Hobgoblins

"Some people are link Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs."
-- Unknown

"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa did; not screaming like the passengers in his car."
-- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

"It's one big, sunny, fun-filled Bataan Death March!"
-- Crow T. Robot, MST3K, Angel's Revenge

"This movie stops at nothing -- and stays there."
-- Tom Servo, MST3K, Beast of Yucca Flats

 

[rabidsheeep]

dont know if this is too far fromt he topic but

"yo mommas so-- you dont even have a momma, you just got two daddies and a chemestry set"-- my friend

 

[Fishhead]

"I want American food, dammit! I want French fries!"
From Breaking Away, one of my top five favorite movies of all time.

 

[Peter Alway]

Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by incomptence--Unknown

There are two categories of people in the world, those who can be categorized, and those who can't.--me

 

[Fore Check]

My favorite quote from a movie of TV show: Bob & Doug Mackenzie, from "The Great White North" on SCTV. Doug is interviewing his brother Bob and trying to act very serious. Who is interviewing who gets completely turned around by the end.

D: OK. I'm trying to found out a few things, eh?

B: Go ahead, genius.

D: Tell me about the formula for the beer.

B: OK - the formula, uh, for the beer, is E = mc^2

D: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE STOLEN FROM EINSTEIN!!

B: Oh, you *know* that's from Einstein?!?

D: You bet I do!

B: I suppose the two of you were having a doughnut and he told you about it?

D: He wouldn't eat dougnuts.

B: Yeah, right. Well, the "E" is for... uh...

D: ...electricity...

B: Yeah. And the "M" is for like "man" -

D: No it's not, it's for "memory" like on a calculator.

B: And "C"?

D: "Clear."

B: Clear Memory?

D: Yeah.

B: And what is "squared"?

D: "Squared" is squared! 5 squared is 25, 3 squared is 9, squared beer is 24 -

B: So that's the formula?

D: Yeah.