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rocketsonly

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Hello all. I don't know about you all, but I find reading quotes very entertaining. Does anyone have any favorite quotes? I've got to say mine is the one in my signature:

"You have undertaken to cheat me. I won't sue you, for the law is too slow. I'll ruin you."
-Cornelius Vanderbuilt

Now the story behind it. Cornelius was into the shipping business and owned his own shipping company. One day while he was on a rather long vacation, a few of his competitors decided to take a couple of his shipping routes. When Cornelius found out, he sent a letter to his competitors saying, "You have undertaken to cheat me. I won't sue you, for the law is too slow. I'll ruin you." So he decided to price all of his shipping rates below those of his competitors, and it got to a point where both companies were offering free services. But being the genius he was, he knew his competitors were loosing more money than he was, and he therefore continued to offer the free service. His plan worked, and most, if not all, of his competitors had to drop out!

Cool story eh? The History Channel was talking about him a few days ago.
 

11bravo

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In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

Greg
 

DynaSoar

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Originally posted by rocketsonly
Hello all. I don't know about you all, but I find reading quotes very entertaining. Does anyone have any favorite quotes?
Besides looking for archives of signature (.sig) files, also search for "tagline" archives. Back in the old days, we were restricted to 65 or fewer characters of a single line "tagline". The last program I know of to use them was YARN, an offline reader similar to Agent. Last I knew the tagline archive for that program was around 17,000 entries.

Here's a sig file I came up with when I was on Fidonet (~1989):

POLITICS: From "poly" (many) and "ticks" (blood sucking parasites).
 

DynaSoar

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Here's one:

"Crash programs fail because they are based on theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby in a month." -- Wernher von Braun
 

hokkyokusei

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Originally posted by DynaSoar
Here's one:

"Crash programs fail because they are based on theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby in a month." -- Wernher von Braun
You _can_ get a baby in a month, and you only need one woman, but you need to choose her carefully.
 

kelltym88

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"Remember, wherever you go, there you are"--- Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
 

hokkyokusei

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"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler."

Albert Einstein.
 

Fore Check

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One of the most confusing quotes of all time:

"Where we live today - sports - is really special."



- Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys NFL football team, during his speech announcing the retirement of former quarterback Troy Aikman.



I should further note that qotes such as this one were littered throughout that speech. Hands down, one of the most scatalogical and wackiest pieces of audio ever. I really need to find a transcript of that one....
 

cydermaster

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"Sir, I am sitting in the smallest room in the house. I have infront of me your latest critique. It will soon be behind me."

- The late Noel Coward (Playwrite, composer and actor), in a letter to a theatre reviewer who had panned his latest production.
 

Steward

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:eek:

"Never argue with an idiot... They'll always drag you down to their level... and then beat you with experience"...

 

hokkyokusei

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"Madam, I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception"
 

Sirius Rocketry

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Someone once told me this, and it seems to be very valid in dealings with everyone. Even has helped me avoid road rage!


"Always remember this....and always approach people and their ideas and intentions in this way.... "People are stupid, unless they prove to you otherwise!"

He said that the "until they prove otherwise" was the key in today's world. He said you would not be disappointed if your expectations of everyone else were low to start with, and if they proved more intelligence than you expected, coming from low expectations, you would not be disappointed, but instead, pleasantly surprised. Bonus!

Seems to answer a lot of questions sometimes when I look at it that way!

So my quote would be: "people are stupid, unless they prove to you otherwise."

I thought it was funny, and the more I thought about it, most of the time, true.....
 

Chuck Rudy

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One of my favorite quotes was by General Sedgewick in the Civil War, at I believe, Gettysburg-"They couldn't shoot an elephant at this dist........." Unfortunatley General Sedgewick's optimism proved to be very wrong.

For sports folks there's Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

And speaking of, the pragmatic Albert (Norman) Einstein said "I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones."

And of course one of the all time madcaps Winston Churchill - "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
 

Steward

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:cool:

My dad always said...

"You do... and you'll clean it up...!!!"

 

jerryb

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Originally posted by kelltym88
"Remember, wherever you go, there you are"--- Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

ACTUALLY... first time I heard that quote... was in a movie called "The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai across the 8th dimension".... which came out a year before the thunderdome movie...

actually a zen buddist saying from who knows how long ago...


my favorite one from said movie... "Laugh whilea you can... Monnn-key-boy!"

guess you had to be there...
 

wwattles

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"Death is an acquired taste. You have to try it a few times before you get used to it." - Me

"There's more than one way to skin a cat. Personally, I've found several." - Anonymous

"It takes two to tango. Five to form a congo line. But only one to do the twist." - Bull Shannon (Richard Moll) on Night Court

"Where there's a will, there's lawyers fighting over the inheritance." - Me
 

Aron Sanford

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The one I like the most:

IT'S WHAT YOU KNOW AFTER YOU KNOW IT ALL, THAT REALY COUNTS!

Aron
 

Hospital_Rocket

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Of course there is the immortal words of the great philosopher Socrates who said:

"...I drank what?"
 

jrogers

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Quoted from Real Genius.......

"Kent puts his name on his license plate."

"My mom does the same with my underwear".

"Your mon puts license plates in your underwear, how do you sit?"

Joel
77267
9848
L3
 

kelltym88

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Loved that movie....remember this "OK God, let me have it.."
 

Steward

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:rolleyes:

"All my life I have wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific".


 

cydermaster

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"I feel sorry for people that don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

- Frank Sinatra
 

Fore Check

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"The last time I gave a urine sample, the nurse put an olive in it." -Me
 

cydermaster

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"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast."

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."

"I can resist anything but temptation."

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

"We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language."

"The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius."

"I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex."

"To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable."

"Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives."

All Oscar Wilde - you can always rely on him for a good quote. :D
 

arthur dent

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"if it bleeds we can kill it"

Dutch(Arnold swarchenegger)
 

gothique_97

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"Me fail English? That's unpossible!" -Ralph Wiggum

"Life is hard. Anyone who tells you differently is selling you something" -Wesley The Princess Bride
 

rocketsonly

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"I am what you will be, I was what you are."

Inscribed on someone's tombstone. I remember studying it in history, and I want to say it was below Jesus' remains.
 
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