This could turn into a pun-off kind of thread. A guy here recently retired, darn it, he actually competed in pun-off competitions! He would spit these streams of puns out I don't know how, but he could have been my secret resource to fuel this thread. Google pun off its amazing, I can not understand how some people can think so fast
You heard about the guy up in the Arctic Circle that was out in his kayak and getting a bit cold? He had some wood on board so be built a little fire on the deckto keep warm. It all ended up badly, with the kayak burning to the waterline. It just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.