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First, let me say that I am safe, and unharmed.

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K'Tesh

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First, let me say that I am safe, and unharmed.

Today I witnessed the results of a tragedy that struck right outside my window. I will not try to shock you with the details.

I just want to say to all my friends out there, that LIFE IS PRECIOUS. If you are hurting, please seek help. Remember that you are not alone, and that there is someone who loves you. Hold on to that. Don't ever forget that it only takes one candle to break the dark, and dawn will come.

God Bless
Jim
 
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K'Tesh

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A stranger committed suicide in front of my apartment. I arrived after the police, but before they covered the jumper. I got a unfiltered view... that was in front of the main entrance to the apartment complex. That was just as I was leaving to go to work.
 
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YodaMcFly

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Yeah, suicides are never cool ... Still, glad you're okay, but, I'll echo your earlier thoughts: folks, no matter how bad it seems, the problem is temporary, and it's never so bad that it requires a very permanent solution.

Jim, does your current situation provide for access to someone to talk to?

Edit: to be clear, I'm referring to the fact that witnessing a suicide can be traumatic, and while I doubt it would influence you to want to leap yourself, it can still be very helpful to talk it out ...

(I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, and this advice is worth what you paid for it. YMWV. Batteries not included. Some assembly required.)
 
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K'Tesh

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Thanks Yoda,

Talking to someone? Not at this exact moment. I have to wait a few hours for them to wake up at a decent hour for them. I'll be talking to them though, and doing a lot of praying. For the loved ones of the person, for those who had to witness it, and all of us who were involved in cleaning up the mess afterwards.

I'll say this... Chinese forensics doesn't do the best of jobs in cleanup.
 

dhbarr

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A stranger committed suicide in front of my apartment. I arrived after the police, but before they covered the jumper. I got a unfiltered view... that was in front of the main entrance to the apartment complex. That was just as I was leaving to go to work.
That's difficult. I know many of us have been touched by such events at one remove or another. I'm not one to judge what someone was going through, but I am big on people seeking both physical and mental healing.

We are mostly water with a cloud of electrical signals riding a delicate chemical soup. If that gets out of whack there should be no shame in getting some applied science.
 

mrichhcirm

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Thanks Yoda,

Talking to someone? Not at this exact moment. I have to wait a few hours for them to wake up at a decent hour for them. I'll be talking to them though, and doing a lot of praying. For the loved ones of the person, for those who had to witness it, and all of us who were involved in cleaning up the mess afterwards.

I'll say this... Chinese forensics doesn't do the best of jobs in cleanup.
How awful. Hang in there and try to recover the sleep you lost. Reach out for support if you need it...that experience would shake anyone.
 

K'Tesh

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I was pretty shaken up. My boss let me have the day off. And they have checked in on me a couple of times. Good group of people.

I also told a former coworker, and haven't heard anything more from them. Once some paperwork is finished (and I get paid for the work I did this month), I think I'll be severing nearly all ties there (there are a few I'd like to keep in touch with).

I'll be Ok, I'm sure... But I'll be a little more picky in the kinds of movies/TV I watch in the future. I think I have a better understanding of what combat soldiers have seen. I wish I could unsee it, and I hope that they can too.
 

Bat-mite

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Ugh. Sorry, man. That's awful. I saw someone get hit by a car once. It does fade over time, but it never quite goes away. Hang in there.
 

Cabernut

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I know exactly how you feel. I was in the next room when a friend of mine took a 30-06 and put it where it would do the most damage, and it did. I heard it, went in, saw, and knew immediately what happened. His brother was there too. I told him whatever you do, don't go in there, but he did. It was hell.

Healing. It took me a week to feel anything, so make sure you take the time you need to process. Then make sure you have someone to talk to, even if it's about the weather. I know I didn't want to talk about it for years and I still get jumpy whenever I hear a bang. Things like this change how you see certain things and make you wonder why some people don't take it seriously.

People who commit suicide aren't aware of how this impacts the rest of us, they're in a bad place and need help. The trouble is, most of the time they aren't seeking help or even letting people know how they feel. Help is out there to be had, all they have to do is reach for it. But they are the ones that have to take the first step.

I'll be praying for you brother.
 

K'Tesh

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I know exactly how you feel. I was in the next room when a friend of mine took a 30-06 and put it where it would do the most damage, and it did. I heard it, went in, saw, and knew immediately what happened. His brother was there too. I told him whatever you do, don't go in there, but he did. It was hell.

Healing. It took me a week to feel anything, so make sure you take the time you need to process. Then make sure you have someone to talk to, even if it's about the weather. I know I didn't want to talk about it for years and I still get jumpy whenever I hear a bang. Things like this change how you see certain things and make you wonder why some people don't take it seriously.

People who commit suicide aren't aware of how this impacts the rest of us, they're in a bad place and need help. The trouble is, most of the time they aren't seeking help or even letting people know how they feel. Help is out there to be had, all they have to do is reach for it. But they are the ones that have to take the first step.

I'll be praying for you brother.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, that has to be tough.

Thanks for the prayers! And Thanks to All for their support everyone!

I've managed to talk to my Sister, who is a first responder (fire), and my Mom. I'll get through this... I've got some good people around me, and a lot of praying is going on. I'm also praying for the family and friends of the person, the people who live here, and the people who have to respond to things like this.

I should be getting ready for bed, and let this day hurry up and end.

God Bless!
 

Peartree

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Professionally, I have sat/stood with several people as they passed from this world into the next. I also did this with my father-in-law. All of these were in hospital settings, most were calm though some were more frenetic as the ER folk tried valiantly to same them. None of them were as traumatic as what you witnessed and yet, even years later, I can clearly remember each and every one. That sort of thing doesn't leave you. Thoughts and Prayers for you as you move forward.
 

75Grandville

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Thoughts and prayers are with you - that sucks. Memories do fade, but never go away. Sorry you had to witness that. Keep talking to other people, and we're pullin' for you.
 

ksaves2

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Dentist...

Too soon?
Ah, ummmmm. Jim is in China so there is another cultural paradigm there. Serves no purpose to ruminate on the circumstances. He should take solace that there was nothing he could do about it. Kurt
 

kcobbva

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Jim, Wishing you the best and will keep you in my prayers for solace and faith. I hope this dark day will go away with time and glad you are safe!
 

samb

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Certainly a profound experience for anyone. CHIN UP ! Hoping you have a better support system than TRF for these kinds of things.
 

K'Tesh

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Thanks all...

I'm doing much better today. I'm keeping busy with rocketry stuff (posting, shifting parts from one person to another for the CinerocDV project, etc.)

As I said, I've talked to my family, and we're all praying over the situation.

Tell the people you love, that you love them. You never know who might need it.

All The Best!
Jim
 

TangoJuliet

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Suicide is no joke. I'm an attempted suicide survivor - almost 19 years ago now. I'm sorry you had to witness what you did. Know that there was nothing you could have done, even if you'd known the individual prior to the incident. Depression is a very powerful illness and until you become self-aware and learn how to cope with the external forces that trigger it, no one can change what you feel.

Jim (K'Tesh) - Being able to talk to someone openly about what you saw and how you feel is very good medicine. Journaling, or writing about it, is also very therapeutic. If the thoughts/images get too disruptive to your daily routine, don't hesitate to seek professional help for PTSD. Peace and prayers my friend.
 

K'Tesh

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Suicide is no joke. I'm an attempted suicide survivor - almost 19 years ago now. I'm sorry you had to witness what you did. Know that there was nothing you could have done, even if you'd known the individual prior to the incident. Depression is a very powerful illness and until you become self-aware and learn how to cope with the external forces that trigger it, no one can change what you feel.

Jim (K'Tesh) - Being able to talk to someone openly about what you saw and how you feel is very good medicine. Journaling, or writing about it, is also very therapeutic. If the thoughts/images get too disruptive to your daily routine, don't hesitate to seek professional help for PTSD. Peace and prayers my friend.
Thanks for that. And being willing to share your story.

I have to say that it was really good to talk to my sister and my mother. My sister, prior to becoming a firefighter, worked with an ambulance crew (like our aunt before her), and my mom was a nurse who worked with crash victims and has a very strong faith. Talking to both of them really helped. Right now, I'm kind of angry about what happened as far as how the local police handled it, though I'm sure that this is well outside of their everyday experience. I honestly wish that they would have forced me to go down to the basement, and exit there (it doesn't have a view of the front door).

Cleanup also seems to be insufficient. The poor apartment complex's housekeeping staff were left to clean up the mess, and they weren't able to complete the job. I too found it necessary to assist to try to prevent others from having to witness the aftermath of the event. Thankfully tonight when I got home, it was already dark, but I did see that the evidence on the building has yet to be washed away. Tomorrow the forecast calls for showers. I pray they're heavy.
 
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