VonMises
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Did you ever have one of those rockets that just never flew right? You didn’t build it differently than any other rocket. Yet something always managed to go wrong.
Ok, perhaps it’s just me.
But just in case I’m not the only one, mine was the Estes X-Ray. It was my first pay-loader, and I was determined carry a payload.
I’m thinking this was about 1974. My neighborhood buddies and I had a full scale space program going. All of our “Astro” subjects underwent stringent flight tests prior to liftoff. Flight training started off with high altitude aptitude tests that involved going up in a kite. They moved on to “G” tests in a gas powered control line airplane. These tests usually didn’t end well, but survivors were to be rewarded with a short, suborbital ride.
Our pre launch vetting program resulted in a trio of fully qualified space cadets. I present to you:
Astro-Mouse: Arguably, “rescued” from the Decatur Central HS biology lab.
Astro-Spider: Apprehended in the kitchen by my stepmother, and sentenced to death for practicing the art of being creepy. I managed to have his sentence commuted.
Astro-Slug: Haplessly doing his slug thing in the garden when we were looking for aspiring space cadets.
X-Ray had several test launches under its belt by now. None of which really ended well, but we figured with all the things that went wrong, and everything we did to make corrections, we finally had the law of averages on our side. Everything at mission control was “Green” and we prepared to launch.
Astro-Spider had his full creep on, and since wolf spiders tend to jump at you when their ire is raised, no one wanted to put Astro-Spider in the payload bay. Astro-Mouse was still visible dealing with the effects of flight testing, so Astro-Slug was chosen.
Once X-Ray was prepared, Astro-Slug was carefully placed at the bottom of the payload bay, and the nose cone slid into place. By the time we had X-Ray on the pad and the igniter hooked up, Astro-Slug managed to move over to the side and was just on the side of the clear payload bay. No biggie, we assured ourselves. He’s close enough to the bottom that lift-off won’t toss him too far.
As it turned out, lift-off wasn’t the problem. X-Ray flew beautifully, and then it happened. At apogee, rather than kicking out the chute, X-ray kicked out the engine, leaving the nose cone in place. X-Ray came down as straight as it went up. Then THUD! It hit in the freshly tilled garden. As we approached the now inverted X-Ray, we could tell that was its final flight.
But what about Astro-Slug?
Well, there was a streak on the side of the payload bay. It ran from the bottom, where Astro-Slug was last seen, to the top, almost reaching the nose cone. Astro-Slug was nowhere to be found. Only the streak remained. I still have that payload bay around here somewhere.
Shortly afterward our space program fell apart. Astro-Spider was supposed to be the next Astro-critter to go up. But by the time we had another pay-loader built, he was all curled up. By now Astro-Mouse developed a mysterious nervous disorder so we turned him loose in the corn field across the street.
Still, I oftern wonder if I could launch a stuffed cat.
Ok, perhaps it’s just me.
But just in case I’m not the only one, mine was the Estes X-Ray. It was my first pay-loader, and I was determined carry a payload.
I’m thinking this was about 1974. My neighborhood buddies and I had a full scale space program going. All of our “Astro” subjects underwent stringent flight tests prior to liftoff. Flight training started off with high altitude aptitude tests that involved going up in a kite. They moved on to “G” tests in a gas powered control line airplane. These tests usually didn’t end well, but survivors were to be rewarded with a short, suborbital ride.
Our pre launch vetting program resulted in a trio of fully qualified space cadets. I present to you:
Astro-Mouse: Arguably, “rescued” from the Decatur Central HS biology lab.
Astro-Spider: Apprehended in the kitchen by my stepmother, and sentenced to death for practicing the art of being creepy. I managed to have his sentence commuted.
Astro-Slug: Haplessly doing his slug thing in the garden when we were looking for aspiring space cadets.
X-Ray had several test launches under its belt by now. None of which really ended well, but we figured with all the things that went wrong, and everything we did to make corrections, we finally had the law of averages on our side. Everything at mission control was “Green” and we prepared to launch.
Astro-Spider had his full creep on, and since wolf spiders tend to jump at you when their ire is raised, no one wanted to put Astro-Spider in the payload bay. Astro-Mouse was still visible dealing with the effects of flight testing, so Astro-Slug was chosen.
Once X-Ray was prepared, Astro-Slug was carefully placed at the bottom of the payload bay, and the nose cone slid into place. By the time we had X-Ray on the pad and the igniter hooked up, Astro-Slug managed to move over to the side and was just on the side of the clear payload bay. No biggie, we assured ourselves. He’s close enough to the bottom that lift-off won’t toss him too far.
As it turned out, lift-off wasn’t the problem. X-Ray flew beautifully, and then it happened. At apogee, rather than kicking out the chute, X-ray kicked out the engine, leaving the nose cone in place. X-Ray came down as straight as it went up. Then THUD! It hit in the freshly tilled garden. As we approached the now inverted X-Ray, we could tell that was its final flight.
But what about Astro-Slug?
Well, there was a streak on the side of the payload bay. It ran from the bottom, where Astro-Slug was last seen, to the top, almost reaching the nose cone. Astro-Slug was nowhere to be found. Only the streak remained. I still have that payload bay around here somewhere.
Shortly afterward our space program fell apart. Astro-Spider was supposed to be the next Astro-critter to go up. But by the time we had another pay-loader built, he was all curled up. By now Astro-Mouse developed a mysterious nervous disorder so we turned him loose in the corn field across the street.
Still, I oftern wonder if I could launch a stuffed cat.
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