(trying to stay within the boundaries of most recent posts)
Your wife is a world renowned surgeon
You wake up and find your earlobe is missing. The wound is cauterized and bandaged professionally. You ask your wife what happened and she says it must've fallen off during the night. You believe her because she's a world renowned surgeon.
The next morning you wake up and you're missing the end of a finger. The tip is professionally sutured and bandaged. You're suspicious. CNN hasn't mentioned any sort of serial parts cut-er off-er cases so it must be your wife. You ask her about it and she suggests that you were sleepwalking. AHA, that must be it.
The following morning both testicles are missing. Again, you ask your wife about it and she says, that's perfectly normal for someone like you. She's a professional...