A theoretical question about motivations

Discussion in 'The Watering Hole' started by LW Bercini, Sep 21, 2019.

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  1. Sep 21, 2019 #1

    LW Bercini

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    I have a question about people's usage of social media. Now, before I pose the question, know this: I am not looking for advice, I am not looking for editorial opinions about any social media platforms, I do not want anybody second guessing why I am asking. Just stick to the question as asked

    What are people thinking when they request to be a Facebook friend, but never interact? They never react or comment on your page, nor do they respond to anything you post on theirs? Why do you suppose they wanted this friendship if they don't care to interact? I'm puzzled.

    Now, let's see how many of you can follow directions...
     
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  2. Sep 21, 2019 #2

    TimothyG

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    I do this. There are people from my past that I may eventually talk to or hang out with once I’m back in that area. My first job was military followed shortly by contracting work so I ended up with friends in every corner of the globe. And it’s not like you can keep up with all your friends when half of them I couldn’t speak to fluently. Plus people that serve as a reminder of what I left behind or lost. Enemies that took great pictures of some amazing times that you want to be able to peruse at your leisure. Plus some people have better things to do than waist time on social media
     
  3. Sep 21, 2019 #3

    keithbawcum

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    Because it adds to their friend count which in social media is currency
     
  4. Sep 21, 2019 #4

    rharshberger

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    I too like Timothy G have friends on FB I have not interacted personally for years, and only a few times of year via FB, however they are people who were/are important to me as friends from school (30 years ago), military service, family or rocketry and its nice to be able to share parts of their life in absentia.
     
  5. Sep 21, 2019 #5

    Marc_G

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    I'm not a big user of FB, but I agree with the above:
    -Low-effort keeping tabs without the need to do anything active
    -Social media currency (very big! for some people; I couldn't care less)
    -Increased visibility to various viewpoints- I know people who do this to break out of their bubble by passively friending others with different viewpoints
     
  6. Sep 21, 2019 #6

    seth_cooper

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    I'm not sure what the word for non-sexual voyeurism is but it's that.

    It's the modern day equivalent of people watching at the local mall.
     
  7. Sep 21, 2019 #7

    readytorock556

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    I usually accept friend request from people I know from my hometown, family, work peers and holy crap, other paramotor pilots. I mean if you want friends, just start flying paramotors and the request start flowing in world wide!
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2019
  8. Sep 21, 2019 #8

    dhbarr

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    Interesting people are interested in things, so I'm just tossing lines in the water to see what comes across my feed.

    Most of it's garbage of course, and some folks I would otherwise respect end up blocked ... but all in all it"s not much worse than the local paper for accuracy.
     
  9. Sep 21, 2019 #9

    Wallace

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    Literally no one will read and or comprehend your post as stated. I am certainly guilty of the same. Simply the world we live in. Enjoy..
     
  10. Sep 22, 2019 #10

    OverTheTop

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    I only do reddit to a small degree, to stay informed on SpaceX and Rocket Lab. Zero interaction nowadays.

    I only do FB when my daughter travels overseas to keep up with where she is at, and to stay informed of the progress of a university rocketry team I mentor. I mostly interact by other means with those people.

    Not interested in the currency of "friends" on social media.
     
  11. Sep 22, 2019 #11

    Nytrunner

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    I like to see what folks are up to. If i see a post or meme somewhere that i know they'll appreciate, I tag them in a comment. Occasionally I post photos or rocket launches or stuff.

    I used to accept requests and make requests all over the place when I first got Facebook, but a couple years ago I decided to cap myself at 500. Since then I've removed many folks i just never actually knew, or never got to know in person, and i only accept a request if i know someone personally.
     
  12. Sep 22, 2019 #12

    cbrarick

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    I'm a little confused. Perhaps a lot stupid...

    You trolled a rocketry forum about your social media dislikes to increase your post count or to increase your like count here?

    See how difficult speaking for other's motivations is?

    /flame on/ ............
     
  13. Sep 22, 2019 #13

    Bill S

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    I call them "Friend Collectors". I don't know why they do it, unless its to stroke their ego (look at how many "friends" I have). I used to regularly purge the list of "friends", deleting those who didn't converse with me, etc.
     
  14. Sep 22, 2019 #14

    Funkworks

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    I don’t see what’s puzzling about this. Once I friend someone on Facebook, I can message them. It’s like having their email or phone number, but even easier because there isn’t even an address or number associated with it (that we see). “Friending” can replace a contact list. It’s not my only contact list, but it’s one of them. You never know who’ll end up being important.
     
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  15. Sep 22, 2019 #15

    Bill S

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    I think that the OP is more puzzled about WHY bother to ask to be on your friends/contacts list and then never interact with you. What is the point being on my list for example, if one never messages me/talks to me? I can only conclude its to stroke egoes.
     
  16. Sep 22, 2019 #16

    Nytrunner

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    I dont think LW was trolling. Call meoptimistic, but I believe he was asking an honest question to a group (yes an online group) of people that he has a slight bit of connection with via our shared interest in rocketry,
     
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  17. Sep 22, 2019 #17

    Onebadhawk

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    +1..
    Well said..
    Not only was he not "trolling"..
    Please remember and be understanding of where he's coming from.
    He just lost a lifelong dear friend..
    I'd think he has many questions going through his mind about friendship in general,
    friendship in particular, what it is to be a friend, ect..

    LW,,
    I only wish I had some magic words for you..

    Teddy
     
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  18. Sep 22, 2019 #18

    neil_w

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    Totally not trolling. Honest if slightly odd question: "Why do people want to be online Friends and then fail to interact in any way?" There's really no *logical* explanation for it, because it is illogical behavior. I would, like others above, attribute it to "friend collecting" behavior. When people have 500 friends (or whatever), it's a pretty sure indicator that they're not interested in personally interacting with all of them, because that's just not practical.

    "Friend collecting" is standard behavior on LinkedIn. I have a zillion contacts (the vast majority initiated by the other folks) and never even use the site for anything. I accept contact requests from those I know personally because... well, easy to just click the "accept" button.

    Here's the crux: social networks are seriously messed up. Although they absolutely perform a useful service in providing a medium to keep in touch with a lot more people than by traditional means, they also drive a whole array of aberrant human behaviors. I am generally a pro-technology kind of guy, but I think the world would be significantly better if all the big social networks were abolished (although I would seriously miss how-to videos on YouTube). That's not gonna happen, though, so just gotta learn how to deal. I do have an ongoing internal debate about deleting my Facebook account; I don't use it for anything, and generally abhor the company, but I do appreciate the birthday notices for folks I otherwise wouldn't track. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
     
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  19. Sep 22, 2019 #19

    Wallace

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    I agree, but you gave me pause with "meoptopistic"o_O. Yet I still believe I gave an honest answer. That is truly the world we live in. Ok, edit that to further state : That is the world I appear to see.
     
  20. Sep 22, 2019 #20

    cbrarick

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    Classic trolling
    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Trolling

    with a little "saying not saying" thrown in. Set up some rules to deflect from the fact he's trolling by saying "I'm really not trolling."
    I reject that reality and substitute it with my own.

    If you only want to have friends on facebook that you interact with, go for it. It's you're FB presence, not mine
    Don't whine about it.
    Don't judge what others do with theirs.
     
  21. Sep 23, 2019 #21

    georgegassaway

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    I do FB. I do not post to my own FB page very often, sometimes months go by. Usually when there's something notable. Doesn't bother me if nobody responds, I'm posting "news" or other info that does not require a response.

    It is nice seeing what others are doing, and sometimes replying to their posts.

    However, I did learn early on not to "friend" everybody that asks. Not as a personal thing, but frankly post too much stuff daily that too often isn't worth reading. So you went to such-and such a place for dinner, and ate a shrimp-bacon-guacamole-pizza burger? Nice but I don't need daily updates on where you are going and where you are eating and what you are eating, and other daily activities. If only Facebook had "subchannels" people could post on, so that people could have say a family life channel and a rockets channel....I'd subscribe to the rockets channel and add to my friends list that way.

    So I limited the number of folks that I add. Even though many of them would not be posting a huge amount, but I just felt I needed to keep the number limited (IIRC it's about 50-ish. If I added everyone who asked it'd be hundreds and Facebook would be so clogged it would not be worth scrolling thru. So anyone reading this who may have asked, don't take it personally, it's a keeping the list short thing. And yes I know I'm probably missing out on some really neat stuff or info, or getting to know some people better, but the over-posters sort of ruined me in that way early on.

    Also, ones that post extreme political stuff, I put into "ignore" status. Don't need that crap in my life. But I don't de-friend them, so they can see what I post, and do not even know I put them on "ignore". Fortunately only three that come to mind. Also, the ones that do tend to post a bunch of stuff daily (restaurants, food, bathroom, whatever), sometimes I've also put some on ignore if it's just way too much on a regular basis.

    More of my Facebook activity is on groups like the NAR page, Estes Model Rockets, Space Hipsters, SpaceX, and a few others.

    I don't do Twitter. I have an account but have not used it to post in years, like say one message to try it out. Sometimes I'll check out some post on twitter I have a link for, like something from Elon Musk, or a few people (more recently, checking Chris Taylor's Twitter feed on moving into his new house in New Mexico). No subscribing.
    But I never go onto Twitter for the sake of going on to Twitter.
    Hated the concept of "bng vry ltd N wht cud B Sd N 1 msg 2"
    .
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019
  22. Sep 23, 2019 #22

    Steven

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    It's like drugs, just say no. Works for me.
     
  23. Sep 24, 2019 #23

    muddymooose

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    I'll friend anyone I'm acquainted with who seems interesting, even if I don't really know them. If they end up actually being interesting/funny/whatever, I'll keep them. If they're not and I don't interact with them, I'll ditch them. I've been on facebook for over ten years and currently have only about 80 friends, although I've gone through thousands in that time. Quality over quantity.

    Just because I find someone interesting enough to continue following doesn't mean I'm immediately their best friend and engage in long conversations, however. Sometimes I just keep people around because I like to read their stuff.

    Outside of "friends" my main interest in facebook, for example, is just that I have it trained to be fairly reliable news feed.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
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  24. Sep 24, 2019 #24

    georgegassaway

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    Hmm, that's what a lot of people thought 3 years ago. I felt something was weirdly "off" at the time, then learned why within the next year.

    I would NEVER use Facebook as a "news" source. Too many paid trolls/apparatchiks with agendas, often anonymously masquerading as people or groups that do not even exist(big part of that problem 3 years ago). Now, something might break that is posted by a person and then I might try some trustworthy source to check it out.
     
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  25. Sep 24, 2019 #25

    muddymooose

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    All of my "trustworthy news" comes from mainstream sources I already trust, and most of it isn't even inherently political. Largely science, nature, and travel.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
  26. Sep 24, 2019 #26

    llickteig1

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    I like seeing photos of friends' vacations, kids, grandkids and hobbies. I don't feel the need to interact (much) outside the occasional click of the Like button. I guess I'm satisfied being a lurker.

    Also, in general I don't accept friend requests from people I don't know.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
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  27. Sep 24, 2019 #27

    burkefj

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    I like seeing what friends and family are doing, seeing rocketry projects people are working on. Ill sometimes post pics of good food my kids have made to inspire others to try something similar. ill typically unfollow people who get too political on either side, and only accept people i know or have similar rocket friends or obvious rocket interest. I have a separate account for posting updates for my rc rocket glider kit business. I use; instagram in a similar way but less often.
     
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