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I knew something was up. Something was bothering her. Something serious. So she and I plan a time where we can talk in private about it. Before that time came, Rissa was normal. She said she loved me. She called me Sweet-D when I called or she called. So I figured what she wanted to talk about was serious, but not to serious. Well the time came, and she and I went on a late night walk. She started off saying how much she loved me. Then she told me what was bothering her. Then she told me our relationship is over..

Oh Bloody H*ll......
SO sorry to hear that Papa Elf.
Right now it sucks to be where you are at, but it will get better.
 
Doing better. Friday night my younger brother is going to come over, and Saturday we heading to Cincinnati to visit my twin brother. I am so glad this is a brothers only get together. Would of been hard if Rissa was invited.
 
Yeah, it hurts.
When you are in this place, after having been close to a girl and invested your care and feelings, you don't ever think you will find someone again. But I can tell you from my experience and others will as well: (and this is a fact)...you will.

And it will be better.
 
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Doing better. Friday night my younger brother is going to come over, and Saturday we heading to Cincinnati to visit my twin brother. I am so glad this is a brothers only get together. Would of been hard if Rissa was invited.

Sounds like fun. Drink a few beers (within limits of course). Go to a ballgame.
 
Same here.
How about popsicles and go cart track?

+1...

Sounds like a good plan...

Didn't realize there were other non-drinkers (most of the time anyway-- I used to enjoy a margarita or two at the Christmas party and end of school party back when I was still driving a schoolbus) and non-sports fanatics here...

Later! OL JR :)
 
I know how you feel, Papa Elf... just about three years ago my girlfriend of fifteen years gave me the "I just want to be friends" speech. It sucks, but you just gotta keep moving forward.
 
+1...

Sounds like a good plan...

Didn't realize there were other non-drinkers (most of the time anyway-- I used to enjoy a margarita or two at the Christmas party and end of school party back when I was still driving a schoolbus) and non-sports fanatics here...

Later! OL JR :)

I wouldn't say that I'm a teetotaller - but it's probably been at least a year since I had even a glass of wine. Never could stand beer or stronger stuff - just don't like the taste of alcohol, and I can't stand hopps. Actually, my favorite alcoholic beverage is mead (honey wine). It is pretty good, comparatively speaking.
 
I wouldn't say that I'm a teetotaller - but it's probably been at least a year since I had even a glass of wine. Never could stand beer or stronger stuff - just don't like the taste of alcohol, and I can't stand hopps. Actually, my favorite alcoholic beverage is mead (honey wine). It is pretty good, comparatively speaking.

Yeah, never could really stand the taste of beer either... maybe once every few years I'll have a Shiner Bock, but that's about it. I can only stand it because it's dark-- pale beers are just nasty IMHO.

Don't like the hard stuff either, by itself... but I'll take a good margarita or other mixed drink once in awhile... Don't drink as much since I'm not having to deal with other people's kids on a daily basis-- a whole lot less reason to drink... LOL:)

Later! OL JR :)
 
+1...

Sounds like a good plan...

Didn't realize there were other non-drinkers (most of the time anyway-- I used to enjoy a margarita or two at the Christmas party and end of school party back when I was still driving a schoolbus) and non-sports fanatics here...

Later! OL JR :)

I usually like to drink until I can't stand up. I like the buzzz I get, but then I found out that I could get the same results if I stand up real quick or spin around. Anyhoo...
 
Once, when I was a lad, my feet slipped off of the pedals on my bike. I was crushed. :facepalm:
 
did I miss something? What was her reason for ending the relationship with you??

She said God told her she had to let me go :(. Which I know is a popular excuse. However, with our faith, that can happen. Either to protect her, or test her (to see if she is willing to obey and give up something precious to her)

And she also mentioned she felt I was causing her to break personal convictions (with her dress and appearance). I never asked her, or required her to do anything she didn't want to. I was a gentleman. Kind. Gentle. Treated her with respect. I liked it when she would lean on me while my arms was around her. Apparently she felt that was wrong and allowed me to do that even though I had no idea she was uncomfortable with it. :(.
 
She said God told her she had to let me go :(. Which I know is a popular excuse. However, with our faith, that can happen. Either to protect her, or test her (to see if she is willing to obey and give up something precious to her)

And she also mentioned she felt I was causing her to break personal convictions (with her dress and appearance). I never asked her, or required her to do anything she didn't want to. I was a gentleman. Kind. Gentle. Treated her with respect. I liked it when she would lean on me while my arms was around her. Apparently she felt that was wrong and allowed me to do that even though I had no idea she was uncomfortable with it. :(.

Maybe she just needs some time alone to get her head cleared out. You never things can change and she might realize what a great guy she had and she may be calling you back, but give her some space and see what happens. In the meantime enjoy yourself and spend some time with and family. They are the best to be around.
 
She said God told her she had to let me go :(. Which I know is a popular excuse. However, with our faith, that can happen. Either to protect her, or test her (to see if she is willing to obey and give up something precious to her)

And she also mentioned she felt I was causing her to break personal convictions (with her dress and appearance). I never asked her, or required her to do anything she didn't want to. I was a gentleman. Kind. Gentle. Treated her with respect. I liked it when she would lean on me while my arms was around her. Apparently she felt that was wrong and allowed me to do that even though I had no idea she was uncomfortable with it. :(.

Sorry to hear it, but it sounds like pretty typical stuff for a woman...

They are SO emotional, and then they think about stuff, and sometimes they think too much, and sometimes not enough, and sometimes come to some pretty weird conclusions... A lot of times women just don't have the first clue WHAT they want... at least I've seen that a LOT...

Worrying about it won't fix anything... sounds like she needs some space. Either she'll come around again, or she won't. Probably the worst thing that can happen at this point is that in a few weeks she'll be back, and you'll THINK everything is cool again, and then a month or two or six later she'll do this sort of thing AGAIN.... for whatever reason. I've seen people go on this sort of merry-go-round a lot, with their feelings dragged through the mud every time, and take them back again... and again... and again... and get hurt again, and again, and again. Just something to keep in mind.

Like I said before, I dated a LOT of women before I found one with her head screwed on straight... and when I did, I married her as quick as I could... and even Betty, who's a very smart, practical, and down to Earth person, can drive me crazy with her emotionalism and indecisiveness at times... it's just a trait of the female half of the species...

Later and good luck. Remember, when God closes a door, another to a better destination opens... You just have to keep YOUR head screwed on straight and keep moving in the right direction, and you'll get there...
Best wishes! OL JR :)
 
She said God told her she had to let me go :(. Which I know is a popular excuse. However, with our faith, that can happen. Either to protect her, or test her (to see if she is willing to obey and give up something precious to her)

And she also mentioned she felt I was causing her to break personal convictions (with her dress and appearance). I never asked her, or required her to do anything she didn't want to. I was a gentleman. Kind. Gentle. Treated her with respect. I liked it when she would lean on me while my arms was around her. Apparently she felt that was wrong and allowed me to do that even though I had no idea she was uncomfortable with it. :(.

This sounds like straight up BS to me. I surely do not share your same faith, but in my own personal experience God does not weigh in on personal relationships. Maybe in your faith He does, and in that case, your God will be your best guide. When you post these kinds of issues to a web forum, you probably will not get the best advice, but here is mine:

Personally, I can not concieve a faith in which a woman leaning in on a man who cared about her and had an "unofficial engagement" with her as inappropriate. You loved her, she loved you, and there is nothing wrong with that. If she is going to spin that kind of thing as a challenge to your faith, then you have a lot to think about regarding her and your faith. it seems incorrect to me to interpret that act as wrong---probably her interpretation of the faith is wrong. Search your own heart, but I have no patience for this particular kind of morality and should probably bow out of this discussion.
 
Sorry to hear it, but it sounds like pretty typical stuff for a woman...

They are SO emotional, and then they think about stuff, and sometimes they think too much, and sometimes not enough, and sometimes come to some pretty weird conclusions... A lot of times women just don't have the first clue WHAT they want... at least I've seen that a LOT... )

I've dated some oddball women, and this does not seem normal to me, even by oddball standards. My wife would never have pulled this kind of BS---we are more direct with each other, and "God told me to do it" would not work for either of us. We have a FANTASTIC marriage!!! It's based on love and respect and quirky, fun-loving personalities, not bogus drama!
 
She said God told her she had to let me go :(. Which I know is a popular excuse. However, with our faith, that can happen. Either to protect her, or test her (to see if she is willing to obey and give up something precious to her)

And she also mentioned she felt I was causing her to break personal convictions (with her dress and appearance). I never asked her, or required her to do anything she didn't want to. I was a gentleman. Kind. Gentle. Treated her with respect. I liked it when she would lean on me while my arms was around her. Apparently she felt that was wrong and allowed me to do that even though I had no idea she was uncomfortable with it. :(.

This sounds like straight up BS to me. I surely do not share your same faith, but in my own personal experience God does not weigh in on personal relationships. Maybe in your faith He does, and in that case, your God will be your best guide. When you post these kinds of issues to a web forum, you probably will not get the best advice, but here is mine:

Personally, I can not concieve a faith in which a woman leaning in on a man who cared about her and had an "unofficial engagement" with her as inappropriate. You loved her, she loved you, and there is nothing wrong with that. If she is going to spin that kind of thing as a challenge to your faith, then you have a lot to think about regarding her and your faith. it seems incorrect to me to interpret that act as wrong---probably her interpretation of the faith is wrong. Search your own heart, but I have no patience for this particular kind of morality and should probably bow out of this discussion.


I'm going to have to stick up for Thirsty here.

This first sentence raises more than a couple of red flags here. Eventho' I'm an atheist, and I have no idea what faith you believe in, but I have a very hard time believing that a God or other Deity has a place to tell another person who they can spend their time with, or have a great amount of affection for.
 
Sorry to hear it, but it sounds like pretty typical stuff for a woman...

They are SO emotional, and then they think about stuff, and sometimes they think too much, and sometimes not enough, and sometimes come to some pretty weird conclusions... A lot of times women just don't have the first clue WHAT they want... at least I've seen that a LOT...

Worrying about it won't fix anything... sounds like she needs some space. Either she'll come around again, or she won't. Probably the worst thing that can happen at this point is that in a few weeks she'll be back, and you'll THINK everything is cool again, and then a month or two or six later she'll do this sort of thing AGAIN.... for whatever reason. I've seen people go on this sort of merry-go-round a lot, with their feelings dragged through the mud every time, and take them back again... and again... and again... and get hurt again, and again, and again. Just something to keep in mind.

Like I said before, I dated a LOT of women before I found one with her head screwed on straight... and when I did, I married her as quick as I could... and even Betty, who's a very smart, practical, and down to Earth person, can drive me crazy with her emotionalism and indecisiveness at times... it's just a trait of the female half of the species...

Later and good luck. Remember, when God closes a door, another to a better destination opens... You just have to keep YOUR head screwed on straight and keep moving in the right direction, and you'll get there...
Best wishes! OL JR :)

It a nutshell women base every decision on emotion and men use logic. We are the fixers...and don't try to change her.
 
as you get older you will tolerant a lot less. You'll have plenty of women that you dated under your belt so of speak and know exactly what you DON'T want. All game playing goes out of the picture when they reach they mid 40's so you have a ways to go and hopefully in time and lots of time you will find someone special. Enjoy the process. I bet you dollars to donuts before two weeks are up you will have some contact with her. She will text you or call you just to see how things are going. It's a game and that's all it is. JR nailed it with what he said. It's Merry-Go-Around and as long as you are in contact with her you will be on it and sometimes that thing gets spinning pretty fast and it's hard to jump off. And when you do you get hurt more each time. Right now you pretty much were able to jump off it and land on your feet, but when it picks up speed good luck...you'll get scraped up and bruised .....

You have a lot of guys on here with a lot of experience, but remember this the most. A woman will truly love you for who you are. You respect her for who she is and love everything about her good and bad and hopefully she'll do the same for you.
 
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I'm going to have to stick up for Thirsty here.

This first sentence raises more than a couple of red flags here. Eventho' I'm an atheist, and I have no idea what faith you believe in, but I have a very hard time believing that a God or other Deity has a place to tell another person who they can spend their time with, or have a great amount of affection for.

There are still a couple cultures left that live and die by the sword, especially in the region of the country Doug lives in. I'm going to make a guess that the ex-lady in question is of the Mennonite faith/culture, a *slightly* less traditional culture than Amish. Very devout, very traditional, very conscious of the social and religious mores that are to be followed.
 
The reasons why are irrelevant. When a woman says she's done, just walk away. Maybe she'll come back maybe not. But chasing back after her is a waste of time and pushes her away.

Be happy being you.
 
I'm going to have to stick up for Thirsty here.

This first sentence raises more than a couple of red flags here. Eventho' I'm an atheist, and I have no idea what faith you believe in, but I have a very hard time believing that a God or other Deity has a place to tell another person who they can spend their time with, or have a great amount of affection for.

You got that right.

I have nothing against faith and religion, but this sounds like a person that would rather make up excuses than take responsibility for her actions.

God told her to do it, - I mean where do you take the discussion from there, when the highest authority has already weighed in?
 
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