I filmed an engine held in place above an aluminum can flame deflector to see how well it would do - as a test for a future video - and the engine quickly burned a hole in the aluminum and a shower of sparks shot out. At least your engines must have gotten high enough to avoid that result!
Not surprising... the flame from burning rocket engines is EXTREMELY hot... couple thousand degrees at the propellant face where the combustion is actually taking place, which is about as hot as a blowtorch-- quite capable of cutting steel...
Aluminum melts at a MUCH lower temperature. If your flame deflector was aluminum, especially THIN aluminum, then even a normal launch could possibly burn a hole in it, or at least distort it... THICKER aluminum could hold up a LITTLE longer, but not a whole lot... steel is MUCH more heat-resistant, has a much higher melting temperature, and of course the thicker it is, the more heat it can absorb before it starts to melt or distort...
However, you are correct, in that the best "solution" to prevent burn-throughs is distance-- give time for the jet of extremely hot gases coming from the rocket nozzle time to expand, and of course as a gas expands, it cools. Plus, turbulence in the flow starts to mix cooler gases and hotter gases, cooling them as a whole...
I remember reading a story that years ago some company sent a salesman to Estes to try to get them to switch from using the mild steel (low-carbon steel) blast deflector plates they were currently using to their product instead, which was touted as a "heat resistant" steel alloy (at of course much higher price). They did an experiment to show the "superiority" of their product to convince Estes to switch, by taping a rocket motor to a stick and igniting it, holding it in close proximity to their "heat resistant" blast deflector... it had a hole burned through it...
Needless to say they didn't switch... the salesman packed up and left...
Later! OL JR