Dad Jokes...

[teepot]

I don't get it.

Roy Rogers and Dale Evans are riding their horses on a trail. They turn a corner and startle a mountain lion. The lion rears up and bites at Roy, catching his boots. Terrified, Dale dashes towards town to get help. Roy draws his revolver and shoots the mountain lion dead. While his boots are torn, he receives nary a scratch. He mounts the lion on the back of Trigger and starts heading towards town.
Meanwhile Dale arrives in town and starts yelling for help. The sheriff gets his gun. The doctor gets his medical bag. Several townsfolk mount up and join the group. As they are about to set off Roy comes riding into town.
The sheriff looks at Roy, looks at the cougar, and looks at Roy's mangled boots. Then he says,

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes"?

 

[kuririn]

I don't get it.

Guess you're not a geezer like me.
I added a video to the post to make it clearer.

 

[K'Tesh]

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes"?

My mom told me this joke when we were riding bicycles around Lake Tahoe... in the early 1980s.

 

[kuririn]

Two lolos (idiots) are flying a plane.
The engine starts sputtering.
First lolo: Auwe (Oh no)! Dis engine going make (die). Look for one place to land!
Second lolo: Eh, I see one small airstrip ovah dea.
The first lolo brings the plane in to an abrupt, screeching halt.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...Screech!
First lolo: "Wow, dis airstrip kinda short, yeah?
Second lolo: "Yeah, and so W-I-I-I-D-E!

 

[K'Tesh]

Eye see what you did here...

 

[kuririn]

I thought puns about the feet were corny.

 

[Bat-mite]

Did you hear about the Italian chef?

He pasta way.

 

[Rob Campbell]

What do you call a girl with one leg longer than the other?

Eileen (I lean)

 

[chrocket]

I thought puns about the feet were corny.

I think they are cheesy

 

[Bat-mite]

Did you ever meet the Dover twins Eileen and Ben? They also have a cousin Stu.

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[MALBAR 70]

What language do they speak at the center of the earth?

Core-ean

 

[MALBAR 70]

I was going to post a joke about sodium but I was like Na,people wont understand

 

[cerving]

#1: Have you heard the rope joke?

#2: Skip it.

 

[K'Tesh]

Nobody laughed when a large arm bone was discovered.
.
I found that humerus.

 

[teepot]

Guess you're not a geezer like me.
I added a video to the post to make it clearer.

Now I get it. I needed to say it faster. I'll be 66 in April. When ever my wife or I say pardon me. It's about even money that the other of us will say, Is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo.

 

[John Kemker]

My father, driving past a cemetary: "You know, people just die to get in there!"

 

[K'Tesh]

I heard they were arrested for....

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[AdAstraPerAspera]

When I first saw a universal remote, I said, "wow, this changes everything!"

 

[K'Tesh]

Something to give us all pause...

 

[SkyFire]

 

[MALBAR 70]

How do you fix a broken tuba?

With a tuba glue.

---

This man is walking by an insane asylum and he hears the inmates inside chanting inside "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen--" He is so fascinated that he walks up to the door and puts his eye up the keyhole and somebody pokes him in the eye with a sharp stick and the inmates start changing "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen-- "

 

[OverTheTop]

 

[K'Tesh]

 

[SkyFire]

 

[SkyFire]

 

[SkyFire]

View attachment 507938

 

[K'Tesh]

View attachment 507950

I believe that's "The Iron Me".