A rant about useless answers

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How about a rant about useless threads?

Editing your original message away makes this worse than what we can see you were ranting about in a post that quoted the original.

BTW, don't you like turtles? They make great soup but never order a salad from one.

The thread was immediately highjacked to such a degree that the original post was rendered moot.

There was a reference to the internet meme of the "I like turtles" zombie kid. (you can find it on YouTube)
 
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I sorted all the answers to this thread alphabetically, and the 7th letter of the 42nd line was an 'e'. Now my name starts with an 'e'. That can't be coincidence. They are watching us.
 
When you are 5 dreams deep, Inception style, and you realize you are dreaming about the Matrix, does your head automatically explode? Wait...my bad. I thought this was the useless questions thread.
 
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I haven't really browsed the forum in a few days, and now this thread exists. I hate all of you...
 
You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?
 
You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?
Any one out of:
1: Set the world high jump record for newly-created midgets, escaping from the blender at the same time.
2: Sit on one of the blades and watch the world go round very quickly.
3: Observe the lack of explosion which would have occurred if that much of my mass had been turned into energy. Conclude that the rest of my mass is somewhere else. Since that's 99 point several 9's percent of me, relocate my consciousness to the main body and sue you for compensation for the loss of whatever body part is missing.
4: Pull from my pocket the glass cutter which I just happen to carry around for such situations. Cut a hole in the side of the blender and escape.
5: You win. I'd like to shake the hand of the person who managed to defeat me in such an impressive manner. At about the 59 second mark, climb up your arm and laugh as the blades chop off your hand.
 
[video=youtube;PZ66wHRhe2U]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ66wHRhe2U[/video]
 
fit... into the saying

"nibbled to death by gerbils"

Jeeez... some people

suppose you keep a paper towel core handy and your small furry creatures smell of Vaseline?
 
THE ENGINEER AND THE MANAGER

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes that he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.

"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well..." says the balloonist. "Everything you told be was technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a Manager"

"I am", replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well..." says the man. "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow
my fault."


Oh man is that a good one.........
lol...lol...lol...

I hope you don't mind,,,
That is so getting ripped off---- uuuggghhuummm I mean copied and pasted......

Teddy
 
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I've often wondered about the lucky rabbit's foot. The original owner had four of them, and they didn't do him much good otherwise you wouldn't be carrying that one.
 
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