Taking Offense

Something I've noticed more and more, and not just here, is a stronger tendency for people's first reaction to something being to take offense to it.

Rather than assume the worst of someone's words or actions, try the opposite - assume they're good, until proven otherwise. It leads to a much more positive and productive experience for everyone.

No, I'm not going to give specific examples, as I don't want to call anyone out. But experience also tells me that if you read this and think, "Oh, I never do that!" you probably do.

-Kevin (stepping off the soapbox)

I agree. Additionally, knowing that facial expression and tone of voice is absent in written communication, the writer of a post also bears some responsibility in ensuring the content comes across with the right "tone".

(Newb shutting up now)

1) Assuming you are good is just a path to one's undoing
2) I am offended by your offensive suggestion that I take offense at you offensive remarks


(Long timer who just won't shut up)

H_Rocket said:

1) Assuming you are good is just a path to one's undoing
2) I am offended by your offensive suggestion that I take offense at you offensive remarks


(Long timer who just won't shut up)

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Leave it to Al

Long boring conference calls.

Kevin speaks truth.

Also, I'd like to add that taking offense is a choice. At some level you are CHOOSING to have a negative reaction and it is entirely in your power to not do so. If you ever find yourself saying something like, "He makes me mad" or "He offends me", you are effectively giving that person POWER over you. Think about that for a minute.

Also, if you do read something and feel that you can't assume the best and that you must take offense, remember this:

Just because you are offended doesn't mean you are also right.

The "Golden Rule" adopted for FidoNet (back when we linked computers together with string to communicate) was:

Don't be offensive and don't be too easily offended.

-- Roger

jadebox said:

Don't be offensive and don't be too easily offended.

-- Roger

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Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

-- Leonardo da Vinci

Kevin I must concur.
It seems almost dangerous to attempt fun loving banter for fear of PO'ing someone who doesn't get it.

Let's just agree to all get along....................................


................. except for maybe AL




......... but then what can one expect from such a deviant, despicable soul that paints a rocket "Porn Star Pink"

I believe the man's actions speak for themselves.






disclaimer: all the above is said with friendly jest....

I'm a giving person; I'd much rather give offense than take offense.:grin:

I totally agree with Kevin...

blackjack2564 said:

"Porn Star Pink"

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Greatest description for a color in the world.

Why would anybody take off fence?

Then the neighbor’s dog will get into your yard.

And you know what that leads to?

Or is it too? I can never keep those two straight.

Or is it strait?

What was this topic about?

Well CRAP.... this means that I have free realms with my Brit sense of humour? You are ALL DOOMED.... DOOMED I SAY!!

PropellantHead said:

Also, I'd like to add that taking offense is a choice. At some level you are CHOOSING to have a negative reaction and it is entirely in your power to not do so. If you ever find yourself saying something like, "He makes me mad" or "He offends me", you are effectively giving that person POWER over you. Think about that for a minute.

Also, if you do read something and feel that you can't assume the best and that you must take offense, remember this:

Just because you are offended doesn't mean you are also right.

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I agree with this as well as the poster. I have noticed the more politically correct and sensitive to others we have become the more sensitive and offended some have become. Like PropellantHead said this is a choice and those who are making this choice need to take ownership. This isn't to say that there aren't just some downright offensive people out there and taking offensive is still very justified in that case.

One other thing to add, e-communication is such a 1 dimentional means to communicate. We have evolved to take cues on so many levels, body language, pheromones as we are just animals, etc. and this format removes all of that from the equation, so it is easy to see how simple it is to misinterpret someones message.

+1. This is a hobby for most, and some make a living at it. Either way, participation should be a positive experience. I have learned a lot from this forum and appreciate the readily available information and fellowship.

It's a schema shift. I think people are using the word offended when they actually mean irritated. Pretty soon the word offended takes on the additional meaning of offense and the real meaning and use become blurred. I can't tell you when the last time I was actually offended. I can easily recount the last time I was irritated.

This thread offends me!

GRIFFIN said:

This thread offends me!

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So, naturally, your offense offends me.... Na then someone will be offended by my Oh look stars! Pretty colors!!! Why do they always smell purple

Wow! Good epoxy. Maybe time to ventilate the basement...


Adrian

troj said:

Something I've noticed more and more, and not just here, is a stronger tendency for people's first reaction to something being to take offense to it.

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I have experienced that here before. Some folks assume too quickly anymore. Narrow minds have narrow thoughts. Not everyone sees from the same eyes. A crook may think everyone else is a crook. A scammer justifies themselves because they think everyone else does it.

One might see a good business approach as an advantage, where someone else sees it as gouging. This is not new news. But it's getting worse. Society doesn't realize how dummed down they are becoming. The only people I see that realize this, are the ones that refuse to get doped by the leaders of this country. (sorry, rant issue)

In short, a great many folks have a much shorter fuse these days. You'd think, that with tech on your side, you might be a better person. Truth be known, you are less than that now. And you are digressing.

edwinshap1 said:

Greatest description for a color in the world.

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morlock said:

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

-- Leonardo da Vinci

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Eschew obfuscation
-------anonymous

If anyone is offended on the forum the parties involved will come to BALLS and it will be decided in The Thunderdome

Dr. Dealgood (or Troj): Listen all! This is the truth of it. Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we've learned, by the dust of them all... Bartertown (make that TRF) learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two men enter; one man leaves.

MClark said:

If anyone is offended on the forum the parties involved will come to BALLS and it will be decided in The Thunderdome

Dr. Dealgood (or Troj): Listen all! This is the truth of it. Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we've learned, by the dust of them all... Bartertown (make that TRF) learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two men enter; one man leaves.

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Master Blaster would make a good two stage rocket mane. Who is the Master and who is the Blaster? Maybe time for another good Mel Gibson Rant. We don't need another hero! Tina was so hot!:wink:

That went well...

frankly, it is not just about taking offense, but that I want to tell newbees to come here and search for answers to newbee questions. I tell them to register and do a search first before posting a question.

There are some smart folks on here, but some few with no tact, and the I am smarter, and I know more than you, responses under any category, it don't take long till you are talking to yourselves.......

NAR facebook has 2,500+members, lots of us in multiple venues I am sure. If you are so smucken fart, prove it and educate, not alienate.

MClark said:

If anyone is offended on the forum the parties involved will come to BALLS and it will be decided in The Thunderdome

Dr. Dealgood (or Troj): Listen all! This is the truth of it. Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we've learned, by the dust of them all... Bartertown (make that TRF) learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two men enter; one man leaves.

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Mark, you are pulling the perfect quote from a really bad movie. I am Master- he is blaster. Or from a previous Mad Max- Road Warrior I believe- I am Humongous



Mark Koelsch
Sent from my iPhone using Rocketry Forum

troj said:

Something I've noticed more and more, and not just here, is a stronger tendency for people's first reaction to something being to take offense to it.

Rather than assume the worst of someone's words or actions, try the opposite - assume they're good, until proven otherwise. It leads to a much more positive and productive experience for everyone.

No, I'm not going to give specific examples, as I don't want to call anyone out. But experience also tells me that if you read this and think, "Oh, I never do that!" you probably do.

-Kevin (stepping off the soapbox)

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AMEN......

[/sarcasm font] wait... are you talking about me??? LOL [/Sarcasm font off]

It's like my drill sergeant always told us grunts: "Better to be pissed off than pissed upon"

H_Rocket said:

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Now if I painted a rocket that colour and had Mark make me a moniker-would that offend everyone?
I for one am damned tired of being so polically correct as to make any observations of conditions in our lives worthless. Naturally people will be opposed to some viewpoints, some radically so.
I believe as long as we don't dramatically try to polarize opinions, we can all get along in our respective lives just by leeping this in mind: You may as well enjoy your ride around the sun-nobody gets out of here alive. You may as well relax and enjoy huimanity as long as it lasts. Play well with others, share your toys and take a nap when you are tired. The only way to cheat death is to laugh at life while you're living.

I usually just laugh at offensive posts. When you see how shallow they are, and how little the poster usually knows about the person he is flaming, it's just silly.