I have not said a word other than mentioning to daughter that I was a little aggravated when she inquired why I was grumpier than normal. I have come to expect this type of behavior if I am away for an extended time. Happens far too much.
I had already decided that I would wall in a portion of the garage as a man cave. Mrs and daughter agree with it in theory. I am sure the response will be priceless when I move all of their stuff out of the cave. May even pick some insulation and a couple pieces of sheet rock while I am at Lowes tomorrow, just enough to get the project started. Probably some outlets and electrical boxes as well. (My garage is a shell with lights)
I'm hoping that building a wall and closing in a garage stall will be cheaper than building a shed. This way I will have electricity as well.
Last night I had Starship Vega dreams (because I finally ordered the nosecone??), tonight I'm guessing they will be more carpentry related.
Y'all have fun, thanx for letting me vent!
Make sure you get a locking door for your "man cave"... otherwise the temptation is too great for them to go in there...
Thing is, basically, as you mentioned, it's a respect issue. I use the dining room table in our unused dining room for my rocket stuff, and have a cabinet behind it for supplies. I've never had the wife or my 8 year old daugher offer to mess with my stuff... heck even my nephews, when they come over, respect my stuff.
I, in turn, respect my daughter's stuff... even when she decides she's going to turn the house into a "motel" and puts up hand-drawn directions and labels on all the rooms and hallways and stuff... and we try to keep her "craft" area halfway neat, without dinking up her "projects". Similarly, my wife has her sewing stuff and all that, and I leave her stuff alone.
I think you need to have a serious, quiet conversation about respecting each other's stuff and space. I trust you don't go into your daughter(s) room(s) or your wife's stuff and muss it up, throw stuff out, or break it out of carelessness... (if you do, well, we've discovered part of the problem). When you've got your stuff in the garage, then there's NO REASON for them to be messing with it and breaking stuff... that's just plain disrespectful... Point out by asking how they'd like it were you to rifle through their room, and destroy some of their more prized possessions in the process...
I'd also hold them accountable. Let them know how much the rockets that were destroyed cost, along with the cost of building supplies and materials to complete them, and the time investment to build them. Tell them you EXPECT and DEMAND to be repaid for the things they destroyed through their thoughtlessness... take it out of their allowances, or privileges, or gas money, or refusing to let them use the car, or whatever... You can't get the time back you put into them, but you can punish them by refusing to take them to the movies or out to eat or something, since you have to spend that time rebuilding what they destroyed (not taking them to something they REALLY want to go to, can be an effective tool to get the point across. Of course the money saved for tickets or meals can go to replacing your destroyed rockets, and make sure that they KNOW that!) Next time the wife wants to go to dinner or your inlaws, tell her "sorry, I'm not going-- I have to rebuild that rocket yall destroyed while I was away."
This sort of thing happens because you DON'T CALL THEM ON IT. You said you've "come to expect this sort of thing". So long as you put up with it and don't make them own up to it and deal with the consequences (loss of privileges, loss of time, whatever) then it will continue... they see you as a "pushover" and there's no motivation to change. Your wife should have your back in this... Kids can do dumb stuff, it happens-- but they ALSO need to learn that it is NOT ACCEPTABLE and there ARE REPERCUSSIONS because of their actions. If you're wife is part of the problem, then sounds like you two need to have a discussion about mutual respect as well...
Look at this as an opportunity for improvement for everybody... mutual respect is something they might as well learn now... because most folks WILL NOT be as tolerant or forgiving as you appear to be... (me included!)
later and good luck! OL JR
