how do you justify this hobby with your spouse?

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3boydad

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Man my wife just complains constantly about all the rocket stuff, and time spent playing with these toys. Even though my 10 year old is doing it with me, she knows i am having far too much fun. We had a great launch friday after noon doing about 8 flights around 1,200 ft at peek. I offered for her to come, but unless we were coloring hair, or doing nails she isn't intrested. Any tips? i know some of you "grown" men have spouses here! :y:
 
Wow ... don't know what to say. Balance center is key to everything. As long as you make time for her, both family and just you and her, I don't understand the complaints she has. Alsodont build in the house (dining room table, kitchen, living room etc) unless you have no other space. Good excuse to clean/organize garage, that's what I did.
 
I guess I'm lucky. My wife enjoys attending launches, has built rockets of her own, and often helps me with my projects.

-- Roger
 
Part of having relationships is recognizing that you won't share every interest the other person has. If she doesn't enjoy launching rockets with you and the kids, she should at least be happy that you have a hobby that your kids enjoy too. It is fairly inexpensive, keeps you out of trouble, etc.

Make a deal with her; one Saturday you do rockets and the next Saturday you do each other's nails and hair. See if that works for her. :D
 
My wife would never tolerate my rocketry antics, fortunately my girlfriend does! Not what you're thinking... Though no longer married, I'm in a committed relationship of many years, to someone nearly as nutty as myself.
We have mutual understanding and tolerance of each others obsessions, but rocketry clearly dominates the landscape in our home. So, in other words, I can offer you no advice. Sorry. See attached photo, this is what my better half got me for Christmas.:D

PIC_1572.jpg
 
My wife would never tolerate my rocketry antics, fortunately my girlfriend does! Not what you're thinking... Though no longer married, I'm in a committed relationship of many years, to someone nearly as nutty as myself.
We have mutual understanding and tolerance of each others obsessions, but rocketry clearly dominates the landscape in our home. So, in other words, I can offer you no advice. Sorry. See attached photo, this is what my better half got me for Christmas.:D

Dito....I'm in a divorce right now since 2 years. My girlfriend is far more understanding to, she did look strangely at me tonight though " what is that!!!! " she said ...... " Its a nose cone " I replied then she just carried on reading her book. My kids love a launch to so its a good excuse just now but once they grow up and IF they loose interest then Ill need to find another reason. On a seriouse not a man who preferes to go to his shed and build rockets is a better man than one who spends his nights in the pub drinking!

You cant really argue with that :cool:
 
So I have been competing in bass tournaments for the past 25 years. When I meet my wife the first time, She coined my nick name, Fishboy... This was back in 95-96.. fast forward we hooked up again and got married. The whole time she knew and understood the fishing thing.. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, many days away traveling, and the summers spent not being around.

Fast forward to this year... I sat down with her at dinner (nice restaurant) and we talked about my "fishing" after 25 years of beating up my body and the doctors telling me that I was worn out, she had to agree. They compare tournament fishing to a professional baseball pitcher, the diffrence is a pitcher is only good for 100 pitches a game, where as a tournament fisheman throws roughly 900 casts a day !!! My doc says, how many pitchers are relevent 15 years later? how many can throw a ball 25 years later? Needless to say, she agreed with the doctor. (her being a nurse didnt help in the least bit..)

So here I am today, cant fish while im letting my body heal and like a kid with ADD, ADHD, and no ritalin.. she knows I need something to keep me "busy" We both agreed playing with rockets will be a great substitute. Its a hobby that keeps me home more, is less expensive and still provides me internal satisifaction.

The only advice I can give you is to have an open and honest discussion with your wife, Explain to her how doing rocket stuff fills in the self gratification that nothing else can fill. Its a personal thing to you.

Also, make sure you tell her just how you feel about her and that one has nothing to do with the other, Dont make it seem as if rockets are a substition for time spent with her, as that would be impossible.

It a personal thing that makes you who you are.

Communication goes along way...

Hope that helps..

Tom
 
At first my excuse to start rocketry was for my nephew, I'm the cool uncle now. My wife and myself love this kid to death, we have no children. As things grew (got out of hand) we went to large launches (Red Glare) and she gets her nice restaurant night. Now that things really got out of hand I had to buy her a new car (to carry all my stuff). She is making out all right because of my hobby.
 
Although I am no longer married either, I'd still have to side with GDJ. If she's not interested in rockets, let her go find her own thing. If she tries to drive a wedge between you and your hobby, then it's possible that her thinking is about how SHE could have spent that money on herself. Pardon my "tude" but I was never fortunate enough to find a woman that didn't have that mind set.
 
oh wow i do build in the house, on the table. i am trying to clean off my work bench in the garage, i have tons of room out there. maybe i should get that done asap. although i am willing to bet she would rather have me watching tv with her over tweaking on my rockets and launch pads. We did talk about it, and she asked me to not do rockets twice a week and she would be happy. So that may be the shade of grey for me. I love that woman, but i am not willing to give up the rockets it's self soothing to create them!
 
So I have been competing in bass tournaments for the past 25 years. When I meet my wife the first time, She coined my nick name, Fishboy... This was back in 95-96.. fast forward we hooked up again and got married. The whole time she knew and understood the fishing thing.. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, many days away traveling, and the summers spent not being around.

Fast forward to this year... I sat down with her at dinner (nice restaurant) and we talked about my "fishing" after 25 years of beating up my body and the doctors telling me that I was worn out, she had to agree. They compare tournament fishing to a professional baseball pitcher, the diffrence is a pitcher is only good for 100 pitches a game, where as a tournament fisheman throws roughly 900 casts a day !!! My doc says, how many pitchers are relevent 15 years later? how many can throw a ball 25 years later? Needless to say, she agreed with the doctor. (her being a nurse didnt help in the least bit..)

So here I am today, cant fish while im letting my body heal and like a kid with ADD, ADHD, and no ritalin.. she knows I need something to keep me "busy" We both agreed playing with rockets will be a great substitute. Its a hobby that keeps me home more, is less expensive and still provides me internal satisifaction.

The only advice I can give you is to have an open and honest discussion with your wife, Explain to her how doing rocket stuff fills in the self gratification that nothing else can fill. Its a personal thing to you.

Also, make sure you tell her just how you feel about her and that one has nothing to do with the other, Dont make it seem as if rockets are a substition for time spent with her, as that would be impossible.

It a personal thing that makes you who you are.

Communication goes along way...

Hope that helps..

Tom


great advice Tom, thank you.
 
I'm fortunate that my wife is understanding of my need for a hobby that's primarily for myself (though sharing times with the kids at launches is great too!).

She does get envious of the time/attention I give the hobby and once told me so. I had been going through a fairly obsessive session with it and work was a grind at the time, so she felt left out.

She said something like "In your life there's work, TV, rockets, the kids, and I'm last!" She was pretty mad. I made a really foolish remark to the effect of "You think I put TV ahead of rockets?" :bangpan: :bangpan: :dark: :kill:

Nonetheless I took the hint and made sure to give her some more attention, and bought us tickets to some classical music concerts (so we would go together), and she reciprocated by making sure I had good dedicated time for myself.

She'll never be a rocket enthusiast but she'll come to the park with me and the boys. I indulge her by going to things she likes.

In the end it's all about supporting each other and giving each other what's needed.

It's hard to squeeze it all in, but working together it's possible!

Marc
 
Sacesq, i did commit the sin of building in the house. and one of our spare rooms have pads and rocket stuff all over. she probably hates that. Although she never enters that room.
 
I'm fortunate that my wife is understanding of my need for a hobby that's primarily for myself (though sharing times with the kids at launches is great too!).

She does get envious of the time/attention I give the hobby and once told me so. I had been going through a fairly obsessive session with it and work was a grind at the time, so she felt left out.

She said something like "In your life there's work, TV, rockets, the kids, and I'm last!" She was pretty mad. I made a really foolish remark to the effect of "You think I put TV ahead of rockets?" :bangpan: :bangpan: :dark: :kill:

Nonetheless I took the hint and made sure to give her some more attention, and bought us tickets to some classical music concerts (so we would go together), and she reciprocated by making sure I had good dedicated time for myself.

She'll never be a rocket enthusiast but she'll come to the park with me and the boys. I indulge her by going to things she likes.

In the end it's all about supporting each other and giving each other what's needed.

It's hard to squeeze it all in, but working together it's possible!

Marc


Marc that is nearly the exact same thing my wife told me. So i guess i need to give more time for her. I guess i will have rocket days, and wife days lol man how did it get to this point?
 
My wife knew I had hobbies. She understands they are my stress relief. They are where I am at peace and relaxed. She never ever does anything but encourage my hobbies. Sometimes she comes with me but often she does what she wants. One huge difference is no kids. However I just do not understand any relationship where one side resents or discourages the other from being happy particating in a hobby. Of course we spend time together. And that is one key. But I know I'd not last long in a relationship where my spouse complained about my hobbies. They are just to central to whom I am and what I want to get out of life.

YMMV Greatly
 
My gf actually comes and helps out with loading the rockets. she used to mess around (stealing tools, parts stuff like that) until one day i had an... "issue" with an E-Match. thank goodness it was just the e match, not the full charge. anyways we dont live together, she doesnt know how much i build or how much money i spend on it....:y: if she did i would probably be single :eek:
 
she doesnt question me when all my packages come home. she obviously knows i am buying rocket stuff. i stock up on paints and tools. i just ordered the guilitine fin jig, i hope it isnt too commercial looking so i can say the guys and me made it at work. I know she would be pissed if she knew the amount of coin i drop on these. But it is just so fun, and when my boy yells YES after a launch i'm sold.
 
I have never understood the issue of wives and hobbies.

It's never been an issue or even came up unless I was planning on going to a launch and she wanted us to go someplace else. But that only came up once and it was no big deal.

My wife has never said a disparaging word about what I spend or what I do from model trains stick and tissue airplanes, model boats, woodworking etc.

OK she didn't like the RC airplanes 'cause I always brought them home in a garbage bag.
 
Hey.. for what its worth...

On monday nights, I play downstairs in my "lab ie work area" We record our TV shows on the DVR and after a couple of hours I come up from downstairs and we watch our shows together.

(I cant believe im acually typing this on a rocket msg board)

Another "trick" (ie: helpfull idea) I can give you is when that "WE" time is spent, is to get a few pillows, get her comphy on the couch with her feet on your lap, get some lotion, put the bottle in very hot water so it warms up the lotion , and rub her feet while watching TV...

I dont know a woman who dont love there feet rubbed with warm lotion.

Make it special to her and that will let her know that you take as much pride in her as you do your rockets...

Have you ever seen the movie Pulp Fiction? If you have then youll understand the Foot Massage thing... Id post the youtube link but its full of bad words...LOL


Tom
 
I am one of the ones that has a wife that is supportive of my diverse interests (music, model trains, as well as rockets). But she can get a little weary of it all - so I try to schedule time just for us.

I had an older couple for friends a few years back. He was heavily into model railroads - but you'll see the similarities. They would travel all over the country to ride trains or go to conventions (read: launches). She happily went with him to these things. But she told me once, that they never had time to back to her home town until her parents died. That really hit me - and I realized that I had to be sure to do stuff for my wife and the kids.

Honestly when the kids were young, we went to several Scottish festivals each summer (I play bagpipes). They were the only vacations we had. But I always tried to find things just for the kids, and extended our trips for this purpose. So even though one festival blurred into another, they always remembered the trips to Disneyland or the Santa Cruz boardwalk. It got better as they became older and my son joined the band and my daughter began competition Highland dancing.

And I take them to the launches as well. Luckily my son-in-law is also a L1 certified rocketeer. I'm looking forward to taking my granddaughter to her first launch.
 
Man my wife just complains constantly about all the rocket stuff, and time spent playing with these toys. Even though my 10 year old is doing it with me, she knows i am having far too much fun. We had a great launch friday after noon doing about 8 flights around 1,200 ft at peek. I offered for her to come, but unless we were coloring hair, or doing nails she isn't intrested. Any tips? i know some of you "grown" men have spouses here! :y:

Speaking as the female spouse of a rocket duo/entire family, the obvious question is, have you tried to get her involved to some degree? She might not be into rockets but she might like the math that goes with it, or taking photos of your launches or some other related aspect. Quality time with the kids is a huge positive to me.

Just a shot in the dark here but most of the wives I know that do not participate with their husbands and complain about any part of the hobby usually comes down to the man making her feel less important than the hobby and that applies to many other aspects too. Sports, night out with the guys, etc. Have your interests become 1 dimensional?

Some people have to learn to be supportive of their spouse, of either gender. Perhaps you need to give her equal time in some other area that she enjoys, like dancing, theatre or some one on one time with her. Keep your hobby time and expenses within reason to your resources and opportunities. If you are negelecting her, your relationship or other responsibilities, she is never going to support it.

Rocketry is something Randy enjoys, I do as well but even if I didn't, I would make an effort to support him. He does the same for me in other ways but whatever we do, we do it together and within budget and time shared with other interests.

Verna
www.vernarockets.com
 
Hey.. for what its worth...

I dont know a woman who dont love there feet rubbed with warm lotion.

Tom

Good man Tom! My mother told me to find a man that can make me laugh and that will rub my feet. Randy makes me laugh all the time and he rubs my feet whenever I want. Usually he offers before I ask. If anyone doubts what a good foot massage will do for your relationship check out our website and look around.

:wink:

Verna
www.vernarockets.com
 
I consider myself lucky. My girlfriend loves to help build rockets, and even builds them herself. She even gets her hands dirty when she has to. My guess is to just try to balance it all. Take breaks when you have to, like when thing are drying.

If you still have no luck and she wont justify it...well, your screwed. ;)
 
Im the foot master.. My wife LOVES her feet rubbed with lotion.. Seems that there is LITTLE to complain about when she is in her happy place after her feet are thoughly rubbed/massaged...

She just looks at me with this evil grin..

Step 1.. make wife happy
Step 2.. make rockets..

Simple ....

:)

Tom

p.s.. Warming up lotion as we speak..
 
Well let's see. After the first launch (HP) I took her to she was hooked. Since then, as long as her rockets are bigger and fly higher I can have whatever I want, She is now on the board of MDRA and we switched to ProX hardware. Her Idea, says she can load and unload them and not screw up her nails. I think it's important to let a woman excessorize with her rocket ( Matching Tshirt, earings and the like.)
 
I think she understands there are worse things I could be doing. Also, I try not to say anything bad about things she likes that I might not care about.
 
Man my wife just complains constantly about all the rocket stuff, and time spent playing with these toys. Even though my 10 year old is doing it with me, she knows i am having far too much fun. We had a great launch friday after noon doing about 8 flights around 1,200 ft at peek. I offered for her to come, but unless we were coloring hair, or doing nails she isn't intrested. Any tips? i know some of you "grown" men have spouses here! :y:

Tell her to stop whinning. You need to figure out how much money she
spends on make-up and perfume, etc. and it can be alot.

As mentioned above you are at least spending time with you son and doing
something constructive. Draw her the comparison of drinking at the bar with
your buddies everynight and see where that ends up.

I just do not tolerate that ****. My wife has her hobbies and I have mine,
and I never get to spend nearly as much time or money on mine as she
does on her's. Then my wife does not whine about my hobbies.
 
I think she understands there are worse things I could be doing. Also, I try not to say anything bad about things she likes that I might not care about.

You hit the nail on the head there.
Thats how it works for me.
Especially the latter.
Plus, Sandy and I are still in love. :D


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