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NUMB & NUMBER (numm/er): Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels have hit an all time low in this low budget film. The biggest expense was all the Cocaine they abused.
 
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Orange Pulp Fiction--Documentary exposing the misleading (some would say outright lies) clinical trial results released by the OPMA (Orange Pulp Marketing Association). The reports state that consumption of orange pulp daily will correct baldness, impotence, , yellow teeth and acne. You watch, then decide.
 
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Orange Pulp Fiction--...snip....


The title alone got me rolling...:rofl:

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THROBIN’ HOOD, PRINCE OF SLEEZE: Forget Maid Marian, Robin is on a panty puddin’ quest. He vowed to avenge his father’s death by deflowering every virgin in the land.

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SPACE JELLY: The Enterprise is in a real fix this time. Coming out of warp speed and suddenly being engulfed in gelatinous space goo, they struggle for weeks to clean out the systems. Everything imaginable was clogged. The more they cleaned, the more it got clogged. That is, until they discovered the space jelly was a life form.
 
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Mrs. Doubtfirestarter--A man who has developed the ability to start fires with his mind due to experiments performed on his parents before he was born is being pursued by a secret government agency. In order for him to see his ex-wife and children, he must take the drastic action of dressing up as a woman and takes a job as his children's nanny.
 
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CONE AIRHEADS: Boy! I suppose it was a bad idea leaving that human on Remulak. Beldar has doomed his planet and its inhabitants. Human interference has made what was already bad, to outright disgraceful. The people of Remulak have lost their minds and act on total impulse anymore. The debauchery is completely over the top.
 
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Transvestites:Dark of the Moon--
There is more than meets the eyes in this movie.
 
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GIRL INTERPRETER: Ever wonder what women are really saying when they speak? It’s been a mystery since the beginning of time. Now there’s an answer to many of those oddball comments. IE: “Do these jeans make my butt look bigger?” The correct answer should be, “I think your butt makes those jeans look too small”.
 
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Dunekirk--Tells the heroic story of how over 300,000 solders fighting to protect the spice planet Arrakis were cut off and in danger of being killed or captured, but were rescued by the ordinary citizens using whatever hover crafts and transport ships were available.
 
Last entry for the night. Still have about 30 more.

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THE BULLWINKLE HORROR PICTURE SHOW: That’s right folks. Go fill your prop bag full of Rocky & Bullwinkle materials like a Boris Hat, Rocky Flying Goggles, A jar of upsidaisium, miniature mechanical mice and whatever else you can remember. Don’t forget, it’s a scary movie, so bring someone with you that doesn’t mind getting clawed in the leg.
 
Yea, time for me sign off after this one
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Dr. Seuss--A daytime TV show host, Dr. Seuss has background in psychology, sociology and observation. Usually, each episode features him working with either a troubled individual or family. But what really sets him apart from other mental health providers is the way he gives his diagnosis in the form of a rhyme. This is from a recent episode ---------------------
"You have a substance abuse problem that is true"
"Including alcohol, meth, crack and sterno too"
"I will provide help if your willing to commit to this"
"You will have to work hard, but we will test your piss"
 
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BRUCE OF THE JUNGLE: Bruce, Jim and Boy Toy all live together in a tree house where running the jungle can get quite complicated. Boy Toy has to be monitored constantly, or he’ll ride those chimps like they ride each other. Vine swinging in the open jaws of a lion’s mouth seems to be one of his favorite pass times. Jim and Bruce argue a lot over which one has “slacker dad syndrome.”
 
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Campfirestarter
: Seeing a discrepancy in the ratio of female to male arsonists, feminists look to even the score... Here you can earn badges for skills such things as tracking (as in avoiding being caught), cooking (the books for profit based fires), and everybody's favorite...
 
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Campfirestarter
: and everybody's favorite...

OK, the suspense is killing me........

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LEGIONS OF THE FALLOUT: After what was called The Apocalypse, most people are walking around half dead with half of their skin missing. Some are really walking dead and some actually survived. Those able, have banded together in separate legions taking on one another and fighting off the “dead” beats.
 
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The Ex-expendables--A group of mercenaries is on high alert after several of their number is killed. The group is battle hardened, but even they are shocked by the brutality, ruthlessness and how the attackers to play with victims before finally killing them. The remaining mercenaries are even more shocked when they discover the true identity of their attackers--their ex-wifes!!
 
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MEN IN BLACK TIGHTS: The movie never made it to the screen when Will Smith said “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” to the wardrobe change.

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GROOL INTENTIONS: Fascinated by this handsome middle aged all American hunk, a pole dancer at the strip club he visits, is determined to have her way with him. Little did she know that he was undergoing a sex change operation.
 
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Sesame Bun Street--In addition to teaching children reading, writing and arithmetic, it also prepares them to enter the fast food industry.
 
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DEPENDS DAY: An annual marathon where men and women trot 40 miles in a designated route around the city wearing nothing but Depends underwear.
 
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Ask This Old Spouse--Each week an long,long time married couple answer letters from their viewers asking about solutions to droops, sags, creaking noises , seepages and things that just don't seem to work they way they used too.
 
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WHAT’S EATING ALL THE GRAPES: This California vineyard is perplexed about how the crops are diminishing so rapidly. No foot prints or signs of animal activity anywhere. They can only speculate what they hardly believe in, is happening.

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STAREGATE: In their off time, Daniel Jackson likes to use the gate as a viewer and holds contests with other aliens to see who can outstare each other.

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Saturday Night Rash--Tony doesn't have much going for him--he still lives at home and works at a deadend job. But he lives for the weekends going to the disco to dance and pick-up girls. At first he wasn't concerned about the fever, but then the rash showed up. It really slowed his moves when the painful urination and green discharges showed.
 
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FATLINERS: This hi-tech device is flying off the shelves. People have gotten so lethargic and lazy, that most everyone suffers from obesity. Simply worn over that “dunlap” and you’ll look exactly how you are supposed to. All’s fine until they start shedding clothes after having met on the holographic dating network.
 
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The Shawsteak Redemption-Andy is sent to prison for a crime he didn't commit. After years in prison, with no apparent way of getting out, he decides to make the best of the situation. As the food is awful, he studies cooking and becomes the head chef. He develops a procedure to cook chicken fried steaks in the electric chair that the warden thinks are so good, he helps Andy get out on parole with the intention of helping him open a restaurant. The money for this is coming from illegal scams and cons the warden has been running in the prison for years. After getting out however, Andy doublecrosses the warden and steals all the money, and then heads to Mexico, where he opens a taco stand.
 
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CAPE FRED: Barney Rubble is about to blow a fuse with Fred. Barney agreed to co-finance one of Fred’s get rich quick schemes only to have Fred take all the credit and embezzle the clams.
 
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Antiques Roadhouse--The producers of antique appraisal show had a problem--some of the shows guests would get disruptive when the items they brought in were found to be counterfeits or of less valve than the owners thought. Something to be done, so they brought in the best in the business--Dalton (although they thought he would be taller).
 
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Antiques Roadhouse------ or of less valve than the owners thought.

Motors on the brain?

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DANTE’S PEEKABOO: With two way mirrors for windows, spectators have a field day watching all the goings-on, in the Dante House of Carnal Knowledge.

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BOYZ UNDER THE HOOD: These Beverly Hills thugs aren’t the mechanics you thought they were. They’re ripping the engine out of your Lamborghini.
 
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DIE HARD WITH A VINAIGRETTE: No fatty dressings for John McClane. He knows all too well he’s got to be in tip top shape to pull off those unbelievable stunts he usually does. Who’s going to “YIPPEE-KI-YAY” If John’s too fat to crawl through a ventilation shaft?
 
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Conhair--Too late, the customers for the "guaranteed hair replacement" program realize the only thing growing is the bank account of the provider of the solutions and creams they have been using. They were so mad when they discovered they had been scammed, they pulled their hair out. (oooh, sorry)
 
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YOU’VE GOT MALE: Your mail order husband has finally arrived. Not what you were expecting? You asked us for a white guy, Not very tall with a big smile. We sent you this.

Troll Guy.jpg

Something wrong?
 
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Clear and Present Anger--Husband realizes as soon as he walks in the front door his wife did not appreacte the new lawn mower for her birthday.
 
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