Things you wish you knew about your father when he was still alive.

Hi everyone,

Father's day is coming up and it's not just about new rockets!

My dad died last year (May 10) at 73. It was completely unexpected since he had been in exceptional health his entire life. Totally shocked the entire family.

The story goes like this. In about 1960 he graduated with a degree in geography and started working for the DoD's Defense Mapping Agency (probably had a different name then, and a different name now). After a little while there, he moved to the Census Bureau, got tired of the rat-race and became self employed in rural Wisconsin - from this point on my memories are much more consistent.

Anyway, some of you probably recall there were certain important events which transpired during the early 60s with our latin neighbor Cuba. I only learned last week, that my father was working on photo analysis and map making for the Bay of Pigs and Cuban Missile Crisis! How I would have liked him to tell me this!

Kevin

Very cool. I really feel for people in the intelligence community who can never tell their closest loved ones about the cool things they do to protect our nation.

My father was a signalman on a U.S. Navy Armed Guard ship in WWII. Their job was to protect merchant marine ships in the Atlantic, carrying supplies to the troops in Europe and Africa.

Their assignment was so dangerous that they were given a reprieve on wearing a uniform, and got to serve onboard ship in their street clothes.

They were frequently targeted by U-boats, bombers, and warships, because if the Germans could take them out, then the supplies on the MM ship were theirs.

he is still alive and healthy and expected to turn 90 in November.

My dad spent a lot of time in the military, but he wouldn't talk about most the stuff he does.

My father died when I was 5 yrs. old. There are far, far too many things I'd to know about him.

But in terms of his military service, I wish I could have heard him tell me about his experience as a D-Day paratrooper

My Dad fought for Patton and was part of the bloody third. You don't want to know the rest

I had an older cousin who worked for the State Department. Nobody really knew what she did. She simply told people she was a dignitary.

It seemed like she was always getting out of hot spots right before the stuff hit the fan. She was one of the last Americans out of China during the Tao revolution, one of the last Americans out of Saigon at the end of the Vietnam War, like that. We would joke about how she was really CIA.

When she passed (in her mid 80s) my brother was closest to her geographically, so my father flew down and they both worked to get her personal effects squared away.

They found a box of old documents. She was CIA.



My father was a much simpler person. What we saw was what we got.

He worked for a mechanical engineer for two years out of college, then worked for a mechanical contractor (only one) until he retired. The whole time growing up, if we needed to call him at work (usually to let him know about a good report card or winning some award or wrecking our car) we called the same number, talked to the same secretary (Bee) and asked for my dad.

There’s lots of engineers and machinists here, and they’d know the old writing style on blueprints. When my dad was in the industry they were drawn by hand. For consistency, the writing was all in the same style and all caps. We had a stencil that my siblings and I used for school project, but my dad could write freehand. In fact, he used that print style on anything he wrote. Birthday cards, notes, lists, etc. were all written with the blueprint style. We always thought he had nice writing.

By complete chance, I ended up doing almost exactly what he did. Every once in a while, we’ll get a set of old hand drawn blueprints in. Seeing the writing always reminds me of him. When he was alive, I’d call him on the way home and we’d talk about work. Now it just brings up nice memories.

He was the one that got us into model rocketry when we were kids. We’d get Estes kits for Christmas, put them together during the winter, then launch them when the weather warmed up. We spent lots of good family time at local parks launching rockets.

He was also the reason I became a BAR, since we used a rocket to scatter some of his ashes skyward.

My Dad died when I was 6. But his brother/my uncle/God Father was my father for all intent and purpose. He passed away 9/13/09. But told me about his WWII experience. He served on the Fletcher Class Destroyer USS Bullard, the sister ship of the USS Kid. The Bullard was on station as part of the picket line to detect incoming Kamikaze attacks. His ship was hit by a Kamikaze, but no one was killed and it did minor damage. He told me the most scared he was, when the Bullard was along side the Ben Franklin, helping to put out the fires. He was on the side that the Big Ben was listing, and if it went over his ship would have went down. The other time he was scared is when the Bullard went with Halsey's fleet into a typhoon. A lot of other cool stories, wish I had recorded them all.

Wow, that is pretty cool.
I come from a mostly military family too, and it is something I take great pride in.

I am really enjoying these stories.

I had a second cousin who passed away several (8? I would have to go get the obituary) years ago. I was only vaguely aware that we was in the service, for he never even mentioned it, at least not in my hearing. And I heard him a fair amount - no one ever leaves my home town and he went to my church's sister parish (which also feeds into the never-leave, kin-to-everyone state of things).

Only when I read the obit did I find out that he had been a Lt. Commander in the Navy, and a nuclear weapons inspector for the U.N. Oh, how I regret not having been able to talk to him about these things.

Anyway, it's a good lesson and a good reminder. TALK to them while you still can.

And a further lesson - even if they are "only" an old dirt farmer like my daddy. TALK to them anyway. Everything they have to say is precious. Because one day...you won't be able to any more. And regret is a bitter acid that can consume you from the inside out.

RFMan said:

I am really enjoying these stories.

I had a second cousin who passed away several (8? I would have to go get the obituary) years ago. I was only vaguely aware that we was in the service, for he never even mentioned it, at least not in my hearing. And I heard him a fair amount - no one ever leaves my home town and he went to my church's sister parish (which also feeds into the never-leave, kin-to-everyone state of things).

Only when I read the obit did I find out that he had been a Lt. Commander in the Navy, and a nuclear weapons inspector for the U.N. Oh, how I regret not having been able to talk to him about these things.

Anyway, it's a good lesson and a good reminder. TALK to them while you still can.

And a further lesson - even if they are "only" an old dirt farmer like my daddy. TALK to them anyway. Everything they have to say is precious. Because one day...you won't be able to any more. And regret is a bitter acid that can consume you from the inside out.

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It can be tough to get people to open up about these things.
My Grandfather was a Navy Pilot in the Pacific during WWII and then did Tail Gunner and Artillery Spotter jobs too. My mom told me about some of the things that he went through. I went to visit him for a weekend a couple of years ago, and hoped that during our time together I could hear a story or two about the war, though I dared not asked. At one point, he asked me how the food was in Iraq, and I sensed an opening, but talking about MREs is not much to talk about, and he seemed to be dozing off or day dreaming, so I did'nt push it.
I did make a point to tell him that it was because of the things that my Mom told me about his time in service that gave me the courage and inspiration to serve.
I used to call him from Iraq when I could to tell him that he was my inspiration.
Thanks Grandpa.

I always knew that my dad was on an ammunition ship in the Pacific during WW2 (USS Manderson Victory) and had heard several of his stories. But after his death this year I learned from an older brother that his ship was a part of the invasion at Okinawa.

Oh man. This thread.

Last year when my mother was very sick I took my dad to dinner at a nice restaurant and I asked him about his time in the service in the USAF in the early '50's. He was a tail gunner on B-29's and a boom operator on KC-97's (in another conversation I learned from him that in wartime they were instructed to offload all of their fuel to whatever aircraft and leave themselves 5 minutes of fuel so they could bailout). We had a great time. I think though if I had been taking notes it would have ruined the flow of the moment.

A couple of days before Memorial Day my dad had a stroke. Last Wednesday he died. And I miss him.

Greg

My grandfather just passed away last week, but fortunately passed stories to family. He was a B-24 pilot in WWII, flying 51 missions out of North Africa and Italy. He earned a Distinguished Flying Cross for bringing the plane back on 3 engines--it wasn't supposed to be possible to fly that far with an engine out. On another flight, he left with 32 quarts of oil in the engines and returned with 2, a pint in each. I think the most surprising feat is that he didn't lose a single crewmember in his combat career.

After the war, he didn't want to talk about it. We are lucky that he eventually opened up.

This is a great thread. Keep it up, folks!

One of my uncles stories was about how him and his best friend went and enlisted in the NAVY together (WWII). My uncle got assigned to the destroyer "Bullard". His friend volunteered for the submarine service. About 2 years later while out in the Pacific, he hears through the his ships news bulletin that his friends sub did not return from patrol and was presumed lost. Well my uncle writes his friends mother a long sympathy letter. Several months later he gets a letter from her, telling him that his friend was not on the faithful sub cruise because of acute appendicitis, and he was assigned to another sub. My uncle got some razzing from his friend after the war!

My Dad was one of the lucky ones, too young for Korea, too old for Vietnam. He was a clerk-typist in Germany, and was so proficient with his chosen weapon that he actually "subbed" on typing exams for some of his buddies. The army allowed him to travel a lot on his off time, so he saw a lot of Europe. It's to him that I owe a lot of my fondness for bad jokes and writing, although I got none of his abilities in sports or math. He was offered a chance to play minor league baseball, but passed it up to take the safer road to college. He was also known s the office super-computer in the days of the pocket calculator. His friends would throw out a large multiplication/division problem and it would be Dad versus another guy with a calculator. Dad would have the answer before the other guy was done punching the numbers into the calculator. I think algebra is the donkey from The Little Rascals and I got asked to play church league softball. He did tell me that whenever I was offered entry into a profit-sharing/401-k program at work, to take it and put as much in as I could, then never touch it. I followed that bit of advice, and as a result I've actually got a decent chunk of change socked away for retirement. I know 401-Ks aren't perfect, but I also know that there's no way I'd ever have been disciplined enough to save money like this, so I'm calling the end result a success. Dad passed away last spring after battling failing health and dementia for the past few years. I listened to a lot of what he said over the years, but I wish I'd asked more questions.

My dad was a submariner at the end of WWII and again during Korea. His boat, the Becuna, is still on display at the Independence Seaport Museum in Philadelphia. His bunk was above the top portside torpedo in the forward torpedo room. He chose that because it was the least popular and no one would share it. (Bunk space was limited in the old diesel Balao class subs, so they had to "hot-bunk".)

When I was in 8th grade (Oct 1968), my math teacher got me into model rockets. I got an Estes Alpha, a 3 pack of motors (in the blue tube with white caps), and an Estes catalog. In the catalog was a page that said rocketry was the perfect father-son activity, and I tore that page out and put it in my dad's work lunchbox. Shortly afterwards, he acquired a Big Bertha, which, like pretty much everything he owned, was painted flat black. It indeed was the perfect father-son activity. He had that BB prominently displayed on a shelf in his garage for 20 years after I left that Alpha hanging in power lines.

My father passed away this last October, and this will be my first Father's Day without him.

I miss you, dad.

K

TALON said:

My Dad died when I was 6. But his brother/my uncle/God Father was my father for all intent and purpose. He passed away 9/13/09. But told me about his WWII experience. He served on the Fletcher Class Destroyer USS Bullard, the sister ship of the USS Kid. The Bullard was on station as part of the picket line to detect incoming Kamikaze attacks. His ship was hit by a Kamikaze, but no one was killed and it did minor damage. He told me the most scared he was, when the Bullard was along side the Ben Franklin, helping to put out the fires. He was on the side that the Big Ben was listing, and if it went over his ship would have went down. The other time he was scared is when the Bullard went with Halsey's fleet into a typhoon. A lot of other cool stories, wish I had recorded them all.

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I had a girlfriend who's father was there on the Sigsbee , they were hit by a kamikaze. She had paid for her and him to go to the reunion and he died. Tickets were non refundable so I went. I thought I would not be too welcome but it turned out I was the only one who had not heard the stories and I was taken prisoner. It is amazing what they went through.

M

Tis is a terrific thread, everybody! My Dad died in Feb. 2009 at 85. He told us of some of his WWII service, but not all. When he graduated high school in '42, he was too young for the service, so his step-dad got him a job as a pipe fitting in the shipyard. Naturally, when he was called into the Army, they asked about any special qualifications, so he mentioned this. That pipe him into an engineering unit. (My Dad's skills with tools were questionable, at best...). When he go to the 324th Combat Engineers, part of the 99th Infantry Division. They discovered he could type, so he was the battalion clerk. They were right on the border of Germany and Belgium, when the Battle of the Bulge started on 16 Dec. 1944. He tells us he was placed with a rifle co., and sent out to do battle. 8 days later, 24 Dec., he was in a field hospital with frozen feet. A few years before he died, he told me that that was his best Christmas ever. He would talk a little about what went on before and after those 8 days, but never about what happened during them. I really wonder what he saw and experienced.

Phil L.

I would have given anything to know more about my dad's service. He was who got me interested in rockets (he worked at White Sands after he retired from the Army). There are so many things I wish he had been able to share.

Heck, I would just like to be able to ask him how how his day went today.

Probably even more than my dad, I wish I could have had a conversation or three with my grandfather. He fought for Germany in the trenches on WWI. I have heard a few stories from my Mom, but he and I never talked about his time in the military.

MClark said:

K

I had a girlfriend who's father was there on the Sigsbee , they were hit by a kamikaze. She had paid for her and him to go to the reunion and he died. Tickets were non refundable so I went. I thought I would not be too welcome but it turned out I was the only one who had not heard the stories and I was taken prisoner. It is amazing what they went through.

M

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WOW!!!:eyepop: I have seen the USS Sigsbee in one of my books on Fletcher Class destroyers. There are many great images of the Sigsbee. I accompanied my uncle to his reunion in 2005. It was a reunion of his Destroyer Squadron. Desron 48. Had a great time, it was awesome to just sit back a listen to them relive their experiences. Oh, and the jokes, not for this fourm :wink:

WOW! This is really hard. My Dad was my hero growing up. We didn't spend much time together when I was younger as he always travelled a lot in the Air Force. I do know he was a bombardier and worked up to pilot B-24's, was one of the first B-47 pilots certed to 'deliver' nukes, taught survival schools and commanded a few Munitions Squadrons. He was involved in the Broken Arrow (lost nuclear weapons) over Spain and went to Japan for the stolen Mig fighter. I received a letter from the daughter of one of his aircrew in WWII and she asked if I knew anything about them flying for the CIA after the war. Not a clue. He was a quiet guy, never cussed, had an abnormal amount of patience and loved using his hands. He built everything from furniture to TV sets to model ships and the very beginnings of R/C airplanes. I still use his tools to this day and miss him. I can only hope someday I meet him again and ask the thousands of questions I still have.

fyrwrxz said:

WOW! This is really hard. My Dad was my hero growing up. We didn't spend much time together when I was younger as he always travelled a lot in the Air Force. I do know he was a bombardier and worked up to pilot B-24's, was one of the first B-47 pilots certed to 'deliver' nukes, taught survival schools and commanded a few Munitions Squadrons. He was involved in the Broken Arrow (lost nuclear weapons) over Spain and went to Japan for the stolen Mig fighter. I received a letter from the daughter of one of his aircrew in WWII and she asked if I knew anything about them flying for the CIA after the war. Not a clue. He was a quiet guy, never cussed, had an abnormal amount of patience and loved using his hands. He built everything from furniture to TV sets to model ships and the very beginnings of R/C airplanes. I still use his tools to this day and miss him. I can only hope someday I meet him again and ask the thousands of questions I still have.

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I believe the most unappreciated group are the spouses of military personel. Their sacrifices are underrated, IMHO. The seperation, stress & knowing that your loved ones life is on the line is unimaginable to me. This is also true in peace time.

So let me take this opportunity to say thank you to your dad, you & your family. The time your dad was away from you, was time your dad spent protecting me and all Americans. Thanks to ALL military personel, their families past & present for your sacrifices.

fyrwrxz said:

WOW! This is really hard. My Dad was my hero growing up. We didn't spend much time together when I was younger as he always travelled a lot in the Air Force. I do know he was a bombardier and worked up to pilot B-24's, was one of the first B-47 pilots certed to 'deliver' nukes, taught survival schools and commanded a few Munitions Squadrons. He was involved in the Broken Arrow (lost nuclear weapons) over Spain and went to Japan for the stolen Mig fighter. I received a letter from the daughter of one of his aircrew in WWII and she asked if I knew anything about them flying for the CIA after the war. Not a clue. He was a quiet guy, never cussed, had an abnormal amount of patience and loved using his hands. He built everything from furniture to TV sets to model ships and the very beginnings of R/C airplanes. I still use his tools to this day and miss him. I can only hope someday I meet him again and ask the thousands of questions I still have.

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My dad was and is my hero. He died the year I got married to Marilyn, 1973. Happiest and saddest year of my life. And I still have and use many of his tools including the Klein needle nosed pliers he gave me when I was ten or so. They're in my fishing tackle box. He's also where my sarcasm comes from. There's a lot more but I won't go there until you and me go wet a hook.